


What Follows

by WritingIsMyCoffee



Series: Six Years and Beyond [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Blood, Canon Trans Character, Coming Out, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Hospital themes in chapter 12 and beyond, M/M, Mentions of car crashes, Separation Anxiety, Trans Female Character, Vivid descriptions of a panic attack, innuendos, literally in a sense, mention of transphobia in the last chapter, mentions of fighting, you know the good stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2018-12-17 19:50:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 74,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11858499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingIsMyCoffee/pseuds/WritingIsMyCoffee
Summary: It's weird. There is a life Lup lived with her twin, where they fought the world on together, brother and sister. Then there is the life where it was just Lup, fighting on her own until she met the love of her life and they started their own story together.Now those two lives are mended into one, only Lup's not sure if they can coexist.





	1. The List

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's back.............back again..............with that good, good TAZ angst we all crave.
> 
> This is a sequel to Six Years, which you can find by clicking on the series name bc I'm still not quite sure how to create links with ao3 yet. You don't need to read that fic to understand what's going on here but there will be a handful of references that will make a lot more sense if you do (also I think it's pretty decent??? It's got a lot of Taakitz at the end which I know we all love).
> 
> For those of you who have read Six Years, just a heads up, this will not update as frequently. School is kicking my butt rn and I don't have the same amount of free time to crank out work that I'm proud of. Also, there is a high possibility this will be a lot shorter than Six Years since the plot I've formed in my mind doesn't require as many chapters to space things out. But that could change! I've already added a few more scenes in my brain that I really like so we'll both just have to wait and see.
> 
> Anyway, sit back, relax??? and enjoy.

Lup remembers when she was very little making a list about what she wanted to do when she grew up. The exact details of that list are fuzzy,  but most of the bullet points still stand out in her memory:

One, become a mad scientist.

Every science fiction movie taught her that scientists have the _coolest fucking job ever_ . Mixing weird chemicals together, wearing a dope ass lab coat, blowing shit up? _Hell_ yes. Forget being a movie star or magical fairy princess. The STEM route is the way to go.

Two, become a trillionaire.

Everybody wants to be fabulously wealthy, just some people are more open about their greed than others. Lup doesn’t consider herself materialistic (at her current age and in her adolescent years) but she can’t help but buy a lottery ticket every time she stops at a gas  station. Gotta keep the dream alive after all. Still, it seems silly now, since she is a homeowner and her financial state is quite snug currently.

Three, live in a haunted mansion.

Whenever watching reruns of _Richie Rich_ on cable as a child, Lup always got frustrated on how clean and perfect that spoiled brat’s house was. Everywhere she had been shipped off to wasn’t without it’s problems, and for every renovation there was a tile that was slightly out of line with the others. There is no such thing as a dream home and that’s that. _However_ , after “borrowing” a friend’s copy of _Luigi’s Mansion_ in grade school, she could definitely see the appeal of staying in a haunted, rundown, broken mansion. Living it up with a bunch of ghost buddies, sucking up the evil ones with a vacuum cleaner, not having to worry about snooty neighbors because no one will even want to come near the property?  HELL YES.

The list goes on and on. Buy a binicorn (a unicorn with two horns, because one is just not enough), travel the world and visit all the candy stores, get kicked out of a Walmart just for kicks and giggles, see Jimmy Buffett in person, etc, etc, etc. Most of her wishes make her out to be your average, weird ten year old (or however old she was when she made that list).

Except for the last one.

Twenty Five, always be best friends with my brother.

Lup had seen every late eighties, early nineties sitcom that ever aired. In every one of those shows, the white suburban family always has a couple of kids or two. Whatever the premise of the show was (hiding an alien from the rest of the neighborhood, dealing with a zany brother-in-law, balancing life as a psychiatrist and a parent) the siblings in the show always seemed to be bickering. Yeah, all siblings get into a tussle or two once in awhile, but there was something about how the kids would fight about something and apologize for it later, only to be fighting about something else in the next episode. Their issues with each other never seemed to end and Lup knew that it would only be a matter of time before the bridge between the siblings was broken forever. That’s what their aunt said happened between her and their uncle.

Taako, her twin brother, is the only person who stayed a constant presence in her life. Since birth, the two of them were there for each other, through thick and thin. Being taken away from their parents, their aunt’s death, the dozens of foster homes they were sent to, coming out as a girl. Taako was always right _there_ , with a kind smile and a small joke to help her get through the day. He was her partner in crime, the peanut butter to her jelly (even if he was allergic to peanuts), her best friend. Her everything.

So of course, life found a way to tear them apart from each other.

Looking back on it now, even after having years to reflect on the events and cope, Lup still can’t believe any of it happened. They had finally found a family they both liked. A couple with two kids who treated them like they were their own.  House in a nice cul de sac with a white picket fence and a golden retriever. It was the exact image the front cover of magazines had been taunting them with all their lives.

But living with the perfect family came at a catch. Only one of them could stay and they chose Lup.

Both of them knew why. The family had money but not enough to support four kids. Plus, the two of them were growing up, which meant Lup’s body was going to go through changes she didn’t want to have. The family was her ticket to getting the treatments she needed to feel more like the lady she would soon become.

She traded a better body for her brother. How fucked up is that?

There was nothing they could have done, no matter how hard Lup fought to keep Taako with her or for them to both leave. She refused to live without him. She couldn’t. How could she ever face another day without Taako at her side?

It was Taako, _Taako_ of all people, who finally convinced her to let him go. Taako, who couldn’t go sleeping by himself for only a couple of hours in fear that he would wake up and no one would be there. Taako, who had panic attacks for months after their aunt passed away and were sent into foster care. Taako, who would yell at the teachers in school if Lup was ever placed in a different class than him. Taako, her entire world, decided that it was better if he get left behind.

Lup didn’t talk to her new family for weeks after child services took him away. She locked herself in her _new_ room and ate the food her _new_ parents left outside for her.

The trauma of it all has never left her. Lup wonders if she should have ran away and tried to find Taako before he was moved off to another family. Maybe they should have made better plans to stay in touch with each other before her new family packed up and moved away. Maybe she should have put that wish on the top of her list, or have made that her only wish entirely.

But there is nothing they could have done, and there is nothing Lup can do now. All she can do is continue to remain bitter and angry about it.

She is forever grateful that her new parents helped her go through the treatment she needed, and for the roof that hung over her head, and the food placed on the table three times a day. She is forever grateful to their real kids who were always nice to her and included her in everything they did unless she refused to join them. Never once has she ever squandered the kindness they gave to her.

Yet, she can never find it in her heart to forgive them for what happened. Maybe she never will.

As for the rest of the list, most of her wishes did go up in flames. She never got her binicorn or traveled anywhere out of the United States, mainly because she never became the trillionaire every dreams of becoming.

That doesn’t mean some of them didn't come true.

Most people in school knew Lup was one smart cookie. Paying attention in class payed off after high school when she was handed a scholarship for IPRE College, the Institute of Planetary Research and Exploration in Austin, Texas. The gist of the school was studying a bunch of weird and wacky stuff all over the world and coming closer to understanding everything about the planet Earth, as well as allowing their students to major in other science things.

Lup was a _thousand percent_ on board and left for Austin as soon as she possibly could.

There were several fields of science Lup could have chosen to major in, but chemistry was always something that grabbed onto her as a kid and never let her go. Chemistry turned out to be a pretty fantastic choice since her teacher, Professor Davenport, was completely dedicated to to his field of knowledge, but laid-back enough to handle all the teasing the class threw at him. He was a class act and the dorky uncle Lup never had.

Speaking of dorky, if Lup had never chosen chemistry to major in, she never would have met the love of her life, Barry Bluejeans.

As if the last name wasn’t already the craziest thing in the world, Lup could never imagine that about a year after they both received their bachelor degrees they would be hitched to one another. The first day Lup met Barry, they were both partnered up to work on a fairly challenging project, and the man was a mess. He was stressed out about the deadline, worried beyond belief that they wouldn’t have enough time to finish the research. Thankfully for Barry, he had no idea his lab partner was a pro when it came to all-nighters, and the two of them pulled several to get the project done.

As the weeks rolled by and the nights dragged on, Barry became more comfortable around Lup and eventually started opening up about himself. Lup learned that his family had lived in Texas all his life and he was the second oldest child among his four other siblings.

“Wowza, that’s a lot of kiddos,” Lup remembers commenting.

“Oh yeah. Our house only had one bathroom so things got crowded very easily. I used to go weeks without getting a shower.”

“Gross!”

She also learned that Barry was a huge fucking nerd. Every single sci-fi or fantasy series she asked him about was apparently his forte. _Lord of the Rings_ ? Yes. _Voltron_ ? Yep. _Star Wars_ ? Of _course_.

“I once skipped school just to go see _The Phantom Menace_ ,” he confessed to her one night.

Lup gasped. “I never pictured you as a bad boy, Barold”

Barry’s face flushed. “I-It was the only time I did it. The anxiety was too much to handle and, frankly, the movie sucked. It wasn’t worth it.”

Their hard worked paid off in the end. They received the highest grade in the class and agreed to work on all group projects together from now on. Years went on and their partnership turned into a relationship. It was a bit of a slow burn, in Lup’s opinion, but falling in love with Barry opened up something inside of her that had been dormant for a long time. After losing Taako, Lup was convinced that she couldn’t allow herself to become as attached to anyone ever again. The pain that came from the loss and the fear of what she had left to lose were too much. It was better to become acquainted with people than to put down her walls and let them in.

But Barry had wandered up to her fortress, and after politely knocking on the steel door, waited patiently for her to come out. It was obvious he had been head over heels with her long before Lup ever was with him, but even when she noticed, she had been too afraid to act. Barry had become her closest friend and losing him would leave a scar.

There was also the fear that her love for Barry would replace her love for Taako.

It seems stupid now, but all she had left of her brother was his memories. What if the new ones she formed with Barry erased the ones she made with her brother?

But time went on and the two of them fell deeply in love, to the point where Lup couldn’t imagine living the rest of her life without him. Their lives were a series of music notes that had been woven together to form a beautiful melody.

Lup remembers the moment right before they graduated when the two of them were talking about their futures, debating on what they would do once they had been handed their degrees, and realizing with a start that she didn’t want Barry to leave her. Neither of them had even brought up the subject of their relationship yet, but she had grabbed his hand and looked him dead in the eyes.

“Barry, I love you.”

Barry had gone ruby red. “I-I do too, Lup.”

“No, Barry, I...I _love you_.” All of her thoughts burst out all at once. She told him about her childhood, about Taako, and how they were separated. By the end of it all, she was out of breath and there was a lump in her throat that nearly choked her. “I-I...I don’t want to lose you like...like I lost him.”

Barry wrapped her up in a tight embrace and she gladly accepted it, hiding her tears in his shirt. “It’s okay, Lup. Let it out. It’s okay. I’m right here and I’m not planning on changing that anytime soon. I love you so, _so much_ Lup...I’m right here.”

And after three years, two of those spent in happy matrimony, he still is.

The two of them make their own list their first year as husband and wife, this time of things they want to do together.

One, buy their own house.

When Lup and Barry were first wed, they had absolutely no where to go except Barry’s family home. No offense to the Blupjeans family but the two of them would have rather live somewhere with more than one toilet. Unfortunately for them, the housing market in Austin was moving too quickly for them to keep up with. The possibility that they would have to move in with Barry’s family was imminent, almost certain.

That was, until their second wish came true.

Two, get jobs.

As soon as they graduated, both Barry and Lup sent out their resumes to over a dozen organizations. They were fresh out of college with student loans to pay off and the itch to buy a house fresh on their minds. They needed money and to get money, they needed jobs.

So when Barry got a job application in the mail for a pharmaceutical company all the way out in Lynchburg, Virginia, they jump for the opportunity.

Less than two days after Barry got the offer, they are already packed up and driving across the country. Lup was buzzing with energy. This was it, the start of their journey together as newlyweds. Soon Barry would have a job and she’d find one for herself and they’d have a house and an income and everything they would need to give themselves a stable future. They could buy a dog, have a kickass kitchen, and just be happy together.

But there could be so much more waiting for her in Lynchburg. It was the city Taako and her had lived in before they were split up. He could be there. She might see her brother again after all this time.

The day they arrived, the two of them booked a hotel and fished Barry’s one and only dress shirt out of their luggage for his job interview. He aced the interview and came back hours later with a huge smile on his face.

“Welp, I’m an analytical chemist now. Wanna pull up Zillow on my phone?”

Lynchburg was much more forgiving in the housing market than Austin and before long, the two of them had a down payment on a cozy little split level in a quiet neighborhood. The house only required a couple of small renovations (most of them Lup took care of easily while Barry was a work) before it finally left like their own. The bedrooms and the living room were repainted and the carpet had to be replaced the basement. When Lup finally found a job as a chemical engineer, Barry took over and fixed up the rest of the house.

They were so happy, and three years later they still are. But two wishes on their list still remain unfulfilled.

 Three, find Taako.

Once everything settled down and Lup found the time, she started her search for his long lost twin. Countless google searches only led her to actual taco recipes, and for the first time in forever, Lup hated that her brother shared a name so similar to the popular tex mex food. The internet was getting her nowhere and the search results only became worse as the years passed on. Eventually, her chest ached too much from hitting so many dead ends and life drove her away from her search.

Their fourth wish comes up in question once in awhile, but has often been put aside until later. It’s something most married couples seem to have (or are pressured to have in some cases) and it scares Lup to death.

It’s late one night when it comes up again. After weeks working their asses off, the two of them are finally blessed with a weekend to simply spend time with one another. To kick off their tiny staycation, Barry suggests they pull up netflix and have a movie night. It takes a while to find anything decent worth watching, but soon enough Lup is curled up next to Barry, a large bowl of buttery popcorn in between them, as a generic action movie plays out on the screen in front of them.

Lup slowly devours half of the popcorn bowl as the movie goes on, barely paying attention to the action heroes on screen shooting at shit and instead concerned about her husband. Barry has a frown on his face, his eyebrows scrunched up tightly together. He hasn’t touched a single kernel of corn the entire night, which is alarming because Lup nows for a fact that he loves popcorn. If Barry were placed on a deserted island and told he could only eat one type of food the entire time he was stranded, he would have a harder deciding what type of popcorn he would want to eat more.

“You okay, babe?” Lup asks between mouthfuls.

“Huh?” Barry jolts, shaken out of his trance. “Y-yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

Lup shrugs. “You looked like you spaced out there. Sure there’s nothing on your mind?’

She can tell how Barry hesitates before answering by the quiver in his lips. “No, it’s...it’s nothing. I was just...thinking.”

“Thinking about what?’

“Oh...you know. Just…” He trails off and lowers his gaze to the floor.

Lup sighs. “Alright.” She sits up, carefully cradling the popcorn bowl in her arms to keep it from spilling over. “What’s bothering you? C’mon, I know there’s something on your mind. You’re doing the nervous face. Y’know, the one where you’re pouting and looking away from me?”

“I’m not...pouting?” Barry looks at her quizzically

Lup nudges him playfully. “You are, hon, but it’s super adorable when you do. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

Barry’s frown darkens. He takes a deep breath, then releases it slowly. “You remember Greg Grimaldis?”

Lup scowls. “How could I forget? That fucker still owes me fifteen dollars.”

Barry laughs, but his smile quickly fades. “Well, he’s been bringing his daughter to work this past week because of some issue they have with her old daycare but...he asked me earlier to day if I could watch her for a few hours and she...s-she’s a really sweet kid…”

Lup’s pulls the popcorn bowl closer to her chest. “Barry...does this have to do with us having kids?”

Barry’s cheeks turn pink. “I...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up-”

“No! No, it’s...it’s okay,” Lup sighs. She puts the popcorn bowl down on the floor and turns so she is fully facing him. “We do...we do need to talk about it.”

“But I know you’re not comfortable on the subject-” Barry tries to object.

“I’m not, but it’s important.” Lup reaches over and takes his hand. “You know I don’t like talking about it because...because of what happened to me and Taako. I don’t-no...I _know_ the two of us would never get divorced or be in any way incapable of raising another human being on our own. And even if we did, it would never be as ugly as what happened between my biological parents.”

Barry nods, biting his lip. “And I know you’re worried about what the kid would ever have to go through if we ever did.”

This is certainly not news to either of them, but the words hit Lup like a bullet to the chest. “Y-Yeah...that, too.” She shuts her eyes and wills herself not to become emotional. They need to get through this conversation just like they always do. “I’m just...not ready yet, okay? Maybe...maybe one day.”

When she opens her eyes, Barry is looking right back at her. His eyes are glossed over and despite his forbearing smile on his face, Lup can see his disappointment as well. “Yeah...one day. Um...I think I’m gonna hit the hay early tonight. The movie’s just not really grabbing me.”

Lup forces herself to smile back at him. “O-Okay, sweetie. I’ll be there soon.”

“Right.” Barry leans over and gives her a kiss. It’s too short. There’s no passion behind it and he pulls away before Lup can fully kiss back. “Good night.”

“Good night-” She barely gets out before Barry stands up and retreats down the hall to their bedroom.

Once he’s out of view, Lup grabs the nearest throw pillow and shoves her face into it. _Damn it damn it damn it this sucks this sucks this sucks,_ she repeats internally over and over again. They didn’t even say they loved each other before Barry went to bed. Correction, before Barry left because he didn’t want to be near her.

It has to be what? The tenth time they’ve had that conversation? Every time they talk about the idea of having kids, it creates this boundary between them. Normally, they shake it off after a week or so, but they finally got an off week together; a rarity in their lines of work. Lup doesn’t want this weekend to be super shitty and uncomfortable.

It stings every time she has to ask Barry to wait, because she hates to hurt him. She hates it, she hates it, she hates herself. More than anything, Lup wishes she could just shake off the doubts in her head and the iron coils in her stomach. She wants Barry to be happy, and part of her _wants_ to have a kid of their own, but the other part of her is telling her that is is better for everyone if they don’t.

God, if only she could shut herself up.

When Lup finally pulls her head out of the throw pillow, the movie is over and the credits are over. Lup can’t even remember what the movie was even about. It had something to do with ripped guys and guns. She tosses the pillow to the side and stands up, only to immediately put her foot right in the abandoned popcorn bowl.

“ _Ooooooof_ course. Of course, of course, of course.”

Lup disposes of the foot popcorn and puts the bowl in the sink to wash later. Through the window above the sink, she can see the mom, shining ever so bright, hanging high up in the night sky. The stars surrounding it aline themselves into brilliant constellations.

“Ursa major, ursa minor, Auriga…”

Why does she know so much about astronomy and not enough about dealing with her issues?

Lup leans back against the kitchen counter. She really doesn’t want to go to bed. At this late in the night, Barry should be fast asleep, but seeing him is only going to make her feel worse. She looks behind her shoulder towards the dining room table and sees her laptop sitting on top of it.

“Fuck it.”

Lup pulls out a chair, slowly enough so it doesn’t make enough noise to wake Barry up. She pulls her laptop over towards her and opens it up, hitting the power button. It takes about half a minute for the thing to turn on, which is a relief. Her computer has stuck with her since her senior year of high school, making it an ancient relic at this point. It’s a miracle it even still turns itself on.

Automatically, she scrolls her mouse over to the internet icon and opens up a new tab. The home page is already set up on Google so there is not much effort put in on her part. She types in the same name she has been typing into the search bar for three years now.

 _Taako Taaco_.

With a soft click, she hits enter and waits for the results to pour in. What will it be this time? An ad for _Taco Bell_ ? A recipe on _Food Network_ ? Another themed _Pinterest_ board? There’s no reason for her to think otherwise after all this time-

_Sizzle It Up!_

Now that is new. Lup clicks on the first link that appears on the page. She is redirected to a website for a family-style restaurant in Chicago, Illinois. The menu seems quite appetizing, including a wide variety of options to chose from from several different types of food. Italian, Mexican, Homestyle, and many others. Lup finds her stomach start to grumble.

After checking out the menu and the catering service, she clicks on the option at the top that says _ABOUT THE CHEF_ in fancy yellow letters.

The moment the page loads up, Lup’s heart stops.

 _...Taako Taaco, 25,  is the owner of_ Sizzle It Up! _and works there as the executive chef. He currently lives in Chicago, Illinois with his son, Angus._

_See also: Ren Griesenbeck (sous chef), Joaquin Terrero (stationary chef)…_

Lup can’t breathe. She can’t think. She can’t do anything but stare. This has to be too good to be true. She’s been searching for so long. Surely it shouldn’t have been this easy, right?

Then she sees the picture beside Taako’s name. The man grinning back at her looks nearly exactly like her. He still even has the same gap in between his front two teeth.

It’s him.

Lup grabs the laptop and runs to their bedroom. Her feet stamp against the hardwood floor as fast as lighting and as loud as thunder. Without even thinking, she throws the door open and lets it slam against the wall with a loud _smack!_

Barry jumps up with a shriek, tossing their bed sheets aside violently. Without his glasses, it takes a minutes for him to make her out. “Lup? What’s wrong? Are you okay?!”

“Barry, I found him. I found him, Barry, I found Taako.”

The tension between them is gone in an instant. Barry hand fumbles to find his glasses on his bedside table. “What?! You found him? _How?!_ ”

Lup can’t say anything, too shocked and too emotional to find the right words She thrust her laptop into Barry’s lap and forces him to read for himself.

“Oh my God…” Barry breathes. “You _found him_. I guess...we call the restaurant in the morning and get in touch with him…?”

Lup still can’t find her words. Hot tears are streaming down her face. Without meaning to, she lets out a strangled sob.

“Lup?” Barry quickly wraps his arms around her. “Lup, you did it! He’s okay! He has a restaurant and a son! He’s alright!”

“I-I kn-now,” Lup cries, her voice muffled by Barry’s chest and the saliva piling up in her throat. “I’m so _h-happy_ ...oh my God, it’s Taako... _it’s_ -”

She breaks down completely, too overwhelmed to do anything but cry openly and freely. Barry runs a hand up and down her back, whispering reassurances into her ear to calm her down. It’s all so much and she wants to call the restaurant right now, even if they aren’t open. She just wants to hear her brother’s voice again. She wants to see him again. She wants to wrap Taako up in a gigantic hug and never, _ever_ let him go again.

All she has to do is wait until the morning.

Despite waiting a previous thirteen years, the morning seems even farther away.


	2. Sizzle It Up!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup makes some calls. Barry has an existential crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza the response for this fic has been wild. You all are so sweet :)
> 
> Again, the upload schedule is still going to be pretty irregular. I'm trying my best to work on this during my free time but I can't promise the next chapter will be up as fast as this one. You all have been so patient and I really appreciate that so please keep being awesome B)

_ Sizzle It Up! _ doesn’t open until ten AM central time, which means Lup has to wait until eleven AM since Virginia is in the eastern time zone.

It seems like everything is just dead set on making her wait as agonizing long as possible.

Most of her time waiting is spent sitting on her shared bed, her laptop balanced on her knees and her eyes bloodshot from staring at the screen for so long. Every time she blinks, it stings so badly her eyes water. Her legs are cramping up from sitting in the same position for so long. Her head is aching and her nose is stuffy from crying her heart out for so long.

Despite all this, her heart is racing faster than a race horse during the Kentucky Derby.

The bed creaks underneath Barry’s weight as he returns from the kitchen with two cups of coffee and sits down beside her. “Here ya go.”

Barry’s hand holds the handle of the mug with ease, while Lup’s shakes violently as she reaches for it. “Thank you,” she croaks, her voice hoarse and her throat scratchy. The caffeine taste is muted on her tongue, but it’s warmth is not. Lup cradles the mug to her chest and allows her shoulders to sag.

“How long have you been up?” Barry asks. “Did you ever go back to sleep after I did?”

Lup bites her lip. “I couldn’t. I didn’t even try to.”

Barry hums. “Do you want me to grab anything else for you? Did I add enough cinnamon to your cup?”

“The coffee is fine,” Lup chuckles weakly. “Just...sit with me? I’m having a rough time waiting on the clock right now.”

“Of course.”

The sun rises up from beyond the horizon, giving the birds outside the perfect stage lighting to begin their morning songs. If Lup were to look out the bedroom window, she would see their next door neighbor letting their dog outside to do their business. If she looked even longer, she would notice that their other neighbors have turned on their sprinklers, even though it’s the middle of October and the grass already has one foot in the grave (or maybe one blade in the grave?).

But Lup can’t take her eyes off of her brother’s profile picture.

Taako looks so much older,  _ wiser _ maybe even. His features are still just as identical to her’s (given they are identical twins) and like she nnoticed before, he still hasn’t put in the time to fix the gap in between his front two teeth. However, his cheekbones are more defined and there are faint wrinkles around his eyes caused by age. There are deeper freckles trailing up his face, most likely from spending time out in the sun somewhere, and at least four ear piercings that  _ definitely _ weren’t there the last time she saw him.

He’s not a kid anymore; he’s all grown up.

And Lup missed it all.

“Lup?....Lup?” Barry nudges her shoulder gently. Lup jumps, the laptop nearly tumbling to the floor but she catches it just in time. “Whoa, a-are you sure you’re okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” Lup nods. “I was just...I zoned out there for a sec. What is it?”

Barry eyes her over for a moment but shrugs anyway. “I gotta take a call for work real quick. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Aww, on your off week too. Sorry babe,” Lup sighs. “Go go. Give Greg a piece of my mind if you get him on the line.”

Barry laughs. “Okay. Be right back. Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Lup replies as he steps out.  _ That should make up for last night _ , she hopes.

In Barry’s absence, she returns back to Taako’s description. _...Taako Taaco, 25,_ (that much Lup knows to be a fact. They are twins after all) _is the owner of_ Sizzle It Up! (How her brother managed to become the owner of a popular restaurant in a bustling city amazes her. Just last week, a semi-popular joint in Lynchburg went out of business. Lup prays to every deity she knows that _Sizzle It Up!_ will stay afloat) _and works there as the executive chef_ (Hatchi matchi, the main man in charge?! Lup wonders if it’s because Taako’s the owner or maybe he’s just that good) _. He currently lives in Chicago, Illinois_ (Hot Tamales, Chicago is a good day’s drive from Virginia. How in the world did her brother ever end up there?) _, with his son, Angus._

His son.

Taako’s son.

Lup’s  _ nephew _ .

The weight of that truth slams into Lup like a truck barreling down the highway.

_ Holy shit, _ she thinks. “Holy  _ shit _ ,” she says out loud. Taako has a son? A son of his own? How?  _ When _ ? How old is his kid? Who did Taako have him with? Why is he only living with Angus and no one else-?

Angus.

Oh, that name is so precious Lup thinks she’s going to cry.

And she does, for what must be the hundredth time that day.

When Barry comes back into the room, she’s wiping her eyes with the end of their bed comforter. “Lup? Aww, babe…”

Lup drops the comforter and wipes off the rest of her tears with the back of her hand. “I’m okay,” she breathes, putting on a smile. “How’d your call go?”

Barry gives her a sympathetic look. “Well, I couldn't get Greg on hold, but I told Marvey to tell him you were pissed at him.” He sits back down by her side and takes her hand. “You want me to get you some actual tissues?”

“Nah, they say tears are good for your skin. Cleans your pores.”

“Who says that?” he asks.

“I don’t know. I read it somewhere online. But I’m good, hon.” She squeezes his hand. “I just realized...I’m an aunt, and that kinda just left me shook.” She laughs at her own joke.

“What do you-oh  _ yeah _ .” Barry beams. “That’s...that’s-wow, I forgot about that.”

“It also makes you an uncle.”

Barry’s face goes blank. “Hot diggedy. You’re right. Wow, are we really that old?’

“We’re in our fucking, twenties, babe. We’re aces.”

“Yeah, but I’m almost thirty...doesn’t that make me an old man?”

Lup leans her head on his shoulder. “No, it doesn’t. What are you talking about?”

They laugh and fall into a comfortable silence. More time passes by. One hour flies by. Then another. And before Lup knows it-

“Lup, they’re open! Look!”

Barry shakes her out her daze and points at the corner of the screen. The tiny clock reads 11:00 on the dot.

“Oh my God.” Lup’s voice is already trembling. She scrambles to pull her phone out of her pocket and call the restaurant. The number has already been saved to her speed dial but tapping on it a shaky index finger is like threading a needle with her eyes closed.

Barry waits with her in anticipation, the latter holding her breath in fear that any noise she makes will end the call.

Right when it seems as if the call will go straight to voicemail, it is picked up. “Hello? This is Joaquin Torres from  _ Sizzle It Up! _ What can I help you with today?”

Lup opens her mouth to speak. Nothing comes out.

Oh God, what is she supposed to say to say to this man on the other side of the line?  _ Oh hey, I’m your boss's’ missing twin! Can I get his deets so I can reunite with him? Okay, thanks, byeeeeee.  _ It’s scarier said than done. Or harder said than said?

The point is Lup is suddenly petrified.

“Uh, hey there. Um, My name’s Barry Bluejeans and my wife, Lup Taaco, and I are trying to get in touch with Mr. Taaco? Lup’s, ah, w-well she’s his sister and they haven’t spoken in years and she finally came across your website and we were just wondering if we could get his number,  _ please? _ I-I promise you this isn’t a joke. Uh, d-do you wanna say something, babe?”

Lup comes to her sense. “Oh! Y-yeah, I-I’m Lup. Lup Taaco. I  _ swear to you _ this is  _ not _ some kind of prank. Please, I haven’t spoken to Taako in years and I just want to get back in touch with him. I swear on my life, I just want to see him again.”

The other end of the line is dead silent for several seconds. “ _ Wow, so, uh, you’re Lup. Like  _ THE Lup  _ Mr. Taaco told us about? _ ”

Lup blinks. “H-He told you about me?”

“ _ Y-Yeah. Ironically incase something like this ever happened. Um...wow, yeah, of course I’ll get you his number _ .” Lup catches Joaquin mutter, “ _ Holy fucking  _ shit,” under his breath. “ _ So, uh, you two got a pen, because his humber’s comin at you hot and fresh? _ ”

Lup slaps Barry’s arm. “Ow-”

“Barold, I need a pen! I-I need a pen and paper, Barry!”

“O-Okay okay! Hold on!” Barry races out of the room and returns less than a minute later with the demanded supplies.

“ _ You good? _ ”Joaquin asks. “ _ Alright the number is… _ ”

Despite how terrible Lup’s handwriting is, mostly due to her skyrocketing anxiety, she gets the number down. “Oh my God. O-Okay,  _ thank you _ Joaquin, I’ll hang up now-”

“ _ Oh wait wait wait wait wait! _ ” Joaquin cuts her off. “ _ Uh, I should tell you what your brother’s out of town right now on family vacation. _ ”

Lup’s train of thought goes right off the rails. “H-He’s what? What family?”

“ _ Oh, his adopted family. Out in Virginia. You won’t be able to get a hold of him until later today. They’re out visiting his sister-in-law. But if you try later today, you should catch him _ .”

Lup’s mind is reeling around a single word:  _ Virginia _ .

“W-Where are they in Virginia, may I ask?” Barry questions him.

“ _ Uh, Lynchburg, sir _ ,” Joaquin replies.

Lup gasps, her eyes instantly mist over. “Barry…”

“Okay, thank you, Joaquin,” Barry continues, but he gives her a nod. “You have no idea how much this means.”

“ _ A-Anytime _ ,” Joaquin says. “ _ I know he’s going to be so excited to see you, Mrs. Taaco. Or...is it Mrs. Bluejeans? Is your last name really Bluejeans, sir? _ ”

“Unfortunately,” Barry groans. “Thanks again. Goodbye.” He hangs up the call and sets Lup’s phone aside. “Well...you got his number.”

“I got his number,” Lup parrots.

“I guess now we wait until later, then? S-Should we call around five-ish maybe? That seems like a reasonable hour.”

Lup sighs sharply and falls into him. “God, I don’t want to wait anymore. I just want to speak to him. I want to  _ see _ him again. And he’s right here. Right here in  _ our city _ , Barry.”

“I know, Lup-de-loop. I know. Soon you’ll see him. It won’t be long now.” He plants a kiss onto her forehead. “Do you want me to make you some lunch?”

She shakes her head. “I couldn’t eat even if I tried.”

“Well, you probably should anyway. How about I get you some grapes to munch on? Does that sound good?”

Lup smiles tearfully and hugs him tightly. “You’re too good for me, babe.”

Barry laughs. “I think the same thing but about you. I’ll be right back with those grapes, okay?”

Lup nods and Barry comes back a few minutes later with a giant bowl of grapes and two halves of a grilled-cheese sandwich. After chomping down on a couple grapes, the melty cheese scent wafting off of the sandwich finally tempts Lup into asking Barry for half, which he immediately shares with her.

They find several ways to pass the time. First, they try to binge-watch one of their favorite sitcoms, but after one episode, Lup grows too restless. They go for a walk around their neighborhood, which helps. The fresh air does wonders for Lup’s brain and her heart rate goes down to a pace that won’t send her into cardiac arrest. Next, Barry convinces her to go take a long, long nap since by this point, she’s been awake for an ungodly hour.

Once Lup wakes up for her nap, it’s six o’clock.

“I’m sorry,” Barry apologizes the instant she realizes what time it is. “I was going to wake you but you were sleeping so peacefully and you really needed to get some rest-”

“Sweetie, it’s okay,” she quickly reassures him. “I’m….I’m going to call him now. I’m going to call my brother...”

Barry smiles at her. “I’ll be waiting in the other room. Go talk to Taako.” With a quick kiss, he leaves Lup alone in the living room, with nothing but her cellphone and her confidence to aid her.

Lup takes a deep and looks at the piece of paper with Taako’s number on it. “Okay...you got this, Lup. He’s going to answer. Taako will answer and he’s going to be happy to hear from you…”

Without giving it any second thoughts, she dials his number.

The wait is an eternity.

Then finally, there is a voice talking to her from the other side.

_ “Hello? This is Taako?” _

Lup gasps, tears instantly falling down her face. “T- _ Taako? _ Is it really  _ you? _ ”

“ _ Y-Yeah, the one and only. Is this a business call? Sorry, but I’m off on family vacation. You’re gonna need to call the actual restaurant number- _ ”

Of course Taako would think this is a business call because he owns a business, his own restaurant. Regardless, he’s speaking to her right now for the first time in years and it’s a moment Lup will remember every detail of.

“Taako, it’s me! It’s me, it’s _ Lup! _ ”

Taako goes silent for way too long and Lup is terrified that he’s going to hang up, that he’s going to leave her again-

“...Lup?”

After thirteen years, they are finally reunited.

“ _ Lup, L-Lup where  _ are you?  _ Where have you  _ been?!”

He’s talking a mile per minute just like she is and Lup knows he’s just as shocked as she is.

“I-I’m right here! I’m right here-I’m still in Lynchburg! Oh my God, _ Taako- _ T-Taako, I never  _ thought-! _ ”

“Where,  _ Lup? Where in Lynchburg. Lup _ , where-?”

She spits out her address as if she’ll forget it if she doesn’t and Taako goes quiet again.  _ Oh God, don’t let this be a dream _ , she pleads. _ Oh God please I need to see him again. I need to see- _

“ _ Lup, I’m on my way.” _

It’s those five words that truly shake Lup to her core and make her final wait the absolute hardest.


	3. An Long Overdue Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup cries some more. Barry is interviewed. Taako enters the scene. Magnus is responsible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp school is kicking my behind but reading all of the comments for this fic and for Six Years really helps me get through the day. Thank you all for being so kind. I really appreciate it :)
> 
> HEY HEY HEY! Do you all remember MLA? My wonderful friend and beta who helped edit/co-write Six Years? Well she has an account now! Go check her out! http://archiveofourown.org/users/zumbah_plumbah/pseuds/zumbah_plumbah
> 
> Now it's time for the scene you've all been waiting for! Or at least, one of them. I hope you all enjoy it. It was kind of difficult to get all the right emotions flowing in this chapter while also setting up the pacing to be readable so hopefully everything turned out okay!
> 
> This goes without saying at this point but thank you for reading!

Lup squeezes Barry’s hand in hers. The evening breeze gently tosses her hair out of her tear-streaked face.

“This is crazy.”

Maybe this is crazy. Standing in the front yard of their house as the sun goes down, holding hands and waiting with bated breath. Lup, still clad in her pajamas from the night before, shivers as the temperature continues to drop. All because Taako said he was going over to see her.

Around the neighborhood, porch lights are turned on to starve out the lingering darkness. Lingering bugs who have yet to go dormant for the season buzz in the air, nipping at their bare skin. Through the chain-link fence of the house across the street, a pair of dogs is let outside for a quick final run of the night.

While everyone else is turning in, Lup feels as if her day has just begun.

“He should be here soon,” Barry informs her, his voice just as light as the colors of the sunset in the sky. “Do you want me to wait inside?”

“No.” Lup is quick to respond. “If you want to you can, but…”

The rest of her words fall silent on her tongue. Barry lifts up their woven hands and kisses her knuckles without saying a word. His gesture nearly starts Lup’s water works back up again.

Night continues to fall. The dogs across the street go back inside. A family can be seen dining through an illuminated window. There is no noise except the whistling of the wind and the swaying of the trees.

The peace and tranquility clashes with the whirlwind of emotions tearing Lup apart from the inside. Her mind is producing “what if” scenarios faster than she can rationalize them out. What if she gave Taako the wrong address? What if he decides he suddenly doesn’t want to see her? What if this is all a dream and when she wakes up _Sizzle It Up!_ will no longer exist and she’ll go back to square one and never find-

Suddenly, a low rumble breaks the silence. From down the street, the sound of a car engine continues to grow louder and louder and Lup’s heart starts beating faster and faster-

And then an unfamiliar pickup truck rounds the corner and parks by their driveway.

There is a burly man in the front seat, who is undoubtedly the largest person Lup has ever seen. The side burns on his face are overgrown, slowly forming into a full, plush beard. He’s not Taako, that much is obvious. How he is related to her brother is still up for debate. Friend? Boyfriend? Family member perhaps?

But that doesn’t matter right now.

What does matter is the fact that Taako is sitting in the passenger seat, his eyes trained right onto her. Lup feels time slow down for just a moment as their eyes meet. Pupils wide, mouth agape, hands gripping the dashboard, Taako is frozen in place.

Lup is not.

She runs, yanking her hand away from Barry’s as she breaks into a sprint across their lawn. The world grows underneath her feet, stretching into a million miles and pushing the pickup truck far, far away from her.

Until Taako leaps out of the truck and barrels right into her.

All of Lup’s nerves surge like an electrical current as she embraces her brother for the first time in thirteen years. She tenses up at first, choking on the air in her lungs, and horrifyingly almost pushes him away. This moment isn’t real. Taako is molten lava; gorgeous in the pictures but deadly to touch. She needs to pull away before she hurts herself-

Then Taako starts crying and Lup doesn’t hesitate for a second to fully return the embrace.

Before she even realizes it, she’s crying to. It’s not a pretty cry either. No, there is snot coming out of her nose. It’s disgusting. But who could care about now when Taako is _right here_ in her _arms?_ He presses his face into her shoulder and Lup clings to him desperately. She tries to say something to him, _anything_ , but everything is coming out as a gurgled mess. Something in her brain is short-circuiting, telling her she should be holding a child and not this fully grown adult. But Taako is an adult. _She’s_ an adult. They grew up and finished the rest of their childhood years on their own and now they have to make up for that. After a decade later, they finally get to face on the world together as they always did; brother and sister.

They hold onto each other until the sun has disappeared completely beyond the horizon and the sky is pitch black. Lup’s head is aching after having so many emotional bursts. She needs to pull away and breathe, take a deep breath and try to get some oxygen in her system. But she doesn’t budge and Taako stays in place. Neither of them want to be the first to let go.

Finally, the black spots in Lup’s vision demand she puts some space in between them. Carefully, as if she’s disarming a bomb, she pushes Taako back about half a foot and inhales deeply.

Now she can see him and looking at him in real life is much more surreal than looking at a picture on the internet. There is a tiny little scar across the bridge of his nose that looks a bit faded from time. On his ears, there are two pairs of silver duds that sparkle in the moonlight, just like his glistening eyes. And in his smile-

Taako may have changed since the last time Lup saw her but his smile will always be the same.

“H-Hey brophus,” Lup laughs. She has snot sliding down her lip and a mouth full of marble but she’s so, _so happy_ she couldn’t care less.

Taako laughs, too, and it’s gurgled and wet but it’s the most comforting sound Lup has ever heard. “What’s up, goofus?” He brushes away the tears in his eyes. “Long time, no see, huh?”

“You said it, koko.”

Taako tenses up, his eyes widening. Lup tries to backpedal immediately. “I-I sor-”

“No, n-no you’re fine!” Taako reassures her. “Y-You’re...nobody has called me that in a long time... _Lulu_.”

Lup rolls her eyes and groans. “Seriously, Taako? We just got reunited and you’re already hitting me up with that shit?!” Taako cackles and she cackles alongside him. Then she pulls him back in for another hug. “I can’t believe I found you.”

“Did you ever give up?” Taako whispers into her ear.

“Never.”

“Oh...well, sorry I didn’t try harder to find you.” Lup snickers. “I’ve been kinda busy since we last met.”

“I can see that, if your bio is anything to go on.”

“Oh sis, there is a _lot_ of crap I gotta catch you up on. That’s only the tip of the iceberg of what’s been going on in Taako Town.”

“Same here.” Lup takes a deep breath another sob eaks out of her in the process.

Taako’s hold on her tightens. “Lup, you okay?”

She smiles. “Oh Taako. I think for the first time in a long time I am _way_ more than okay.”

 

“Lup, this is Magnus,” Taako gestures at the large, burly man beside him. After standing outside for so long, they eventually all went back into the house and Taako’s ride has been acting rather jumpy ever since he stepped inside. “Magnus, this is Lup. There, now you can stop wringing your hands all nervously like that.”

Magnus chuckles bashfully and sticks his hand out. “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” he smiles. Despite how easy he seems, Lup can practically feel the hospitable vibes radiating off of him. When she takes his hand, she finds that it is roughly calloused.

“Right back at ya,” Lup grins. “So, how do you know my brother dearest?”

“Ah, w-well, I’m his brother. Adopted brother! Not...not biological but you probably figured that out on your own,” he chuckles weakly.

Lup is taken out of the current scene playing out in front of her. Magnus is her first glimpse into Taako’s life after they were separated. She already suspected that she would meet up with his new family sooner or later but this soon...it’s a little too much to process in one night. She tucks away those thoughts for later and puts on a smile. “Oh boy, are we gonna get into a sibling rivalry or something? You better watch out, my dude, because I may not have your muscles but I can bench press my husband over there without breaking a sweat.”

She points behind her at Barry, who shrugs. “It’s true.”

Taako stills. “Whoa whoa-wait.” Without warning, he snatches Lup’s left hand up and inspects the gold band around her index finger. Then he lets go and dashes over to Barry who flinches as Taako takes his hand. “Wait a minute, wait a _minute_ ! Lup! Lup, did you get _married?!_ ”

Lup beams and starts grinning like an idiot. “Taako, meet Barr, my _husband_ till death do us part. Barry, this is Taako. Y’know, the one I’ve been crying about for the past day or so?”

Awkwardly, Barry tries to shake the hand that Taako is holding onto. “Uh, hi.”

Taako doesn’t shake back. He narrows his eyes and leans right into Barry’s face. “Where’d you go to school?”

“Uh, s-same place as Lup-” Barry stammers.

“How’s your credit history?”

“Pretty good l-last time I checked-”

“And your last name is?”

Barry’s face flushes. “....Bluejeans.”

There is an uncomfortable moment of silence as Taako continues to stare Lup’s husband down. Right when she’s about to intervene, Taako _loses it_. He starts laughing, his face stretching into a smile so wide it could break his jaw. There are tears coming out of his eyes as he starts wheezing.

“ _Your_ -! _Your name_ -! Ahaha _HAAAA! YOUR NAME IS BARRY BLUEJEANS?! WHAT?!”_

Lup can hear Magnus try to stifle a laugh of his own from behind her. She rolls her eyes. “You’re such a bully, Taako.”

Taako can’t seem to hear her over his own laughter. He curls in on himself and lays down on the floor, his face bright red. “ _So_ ...s-so that makes you, what? _Lup Bluejeans?! DID YOU TAKE HIS NAME?!_ ”

“You seriously think I was gonna pass up the chance to be named after an article of clothing?” Lup walks over and kisses Barry on the cheek. “Sorry babe. I didn’t realize my brother turned into a fucking dick since the last time I saw him.”

“Honestly, I got a lot more flack in high school. This is nothing,” Barry admits.

Taako stands up and slides an arm around Barry’s shoulders to support himself. “You pass...the brother-in-law test...my man. _Wowza_ …” Each breath he takes between his words sounds like a leaky balloon. “But for real, I have reason to pick on you like that. My name is Taako Taaco for Pete’s sake. If anyone’s gonna understand what you go through, it’s me.”

“It’s okay, really,” Barry assures him. “You’re, uh...restaurant looks neat.”

“Neat?” Taako’s eyes have a devious glint to them. “Barold, neat doesn’t even cover it.”

“Barold? Oh God, you two really are twins.”

Lup snorts. “Taako, I want to hear every single detail about your restaurant. But how about we all go sit down? I’ll go grab a bottle of wine. Do you guys like cheap red wine because that’s all we got?”

“I can never tell the difference between the expensive stuff and what you get at Kroger,” Magnus confesses.

 

 

“Yeah, and so-Oh, wait! I totally forgot! Ango joined the soccer team!” Taako exclaims, the red wine in his glass nearly sloshing out over the rim.

Lup gasps. “What position does he play?! He is really good?! Does he score all the goals and trip the opposing team?!”

They are all sitting in the living room now. Taako is on the couch, spilling the beans on his family and his wonderful son, Angus. He has been talking so much he has barely sipped any of his wine, his glass still half full. Lup is right beside him, her legs pulled up so that her knees are touching her brother’s leg. The hand that isn’t holding her own glass is holding Taako’s. It’s a gentle grip but it’s tight enough to assure her that he is real, this moment is _real_ , and that it’s not all going to disappear if she lets go.

Barry is plopped down in a dining room chair that he pulled over into the living room. His glass of wine has been empty for several minutes but he has made no move to refill it. There are dark circles forming under his eyes but his pupils are just as wide as the smile on his face. “I think that’s against the rules, Lup.”

“So what? He sounds so precious he can probably get away with it.”

Magnus chuckles and takes another swig of his root beer. Since he is Taako’s designated driver for the night, he politely declined the offer of alcohol and went for a more carbonated option. “Nah, the poor kiddo is too sweet to do that. He gets all mad at me when I try to get him to do it.”

“Yeah, because he’s not a dirty howdy boy like you were in school,” Taako quips. Magnus laughs again and leans back in his chair. “Anyway, he plays defense-no, wait. He plays forward, right Mags?”

Magnus nods. “He got moved up to left forward after that one kid dropped out.”

“Right right. The season’s been flying by so fast I can’t keep up. But he’s gotten really good at it. Wasn’t the best player out there when he started but he’s been practicing with Magnus once a week and has improved a lot. If he ever tells me he hates it, though, I’m gonna pull him out in a heartbeat.”

Lup’s cheeks are starting to hurt because of how hard she is beaming. “Oh my God. Barry, we have to go to his soccer games. I _have_ to see my nephew being a good, good little sports boy.”

And then Lup’s current train of thought leaves the station and a brand new realization pulls up to the platform.

“Oh God, Taako, when can he meet him? W-When can we meet Angus? Can we do it now? Like, right now? C-Can we see him please?”

Taako’s expressions goes blank. “W-Well, of course I want you two to meet him-and everybody else, of course. But it’s...what time is it?”

Barry pulls back his sleeve and looks at his wristwatch. “Oh wow, it’s nearly one in the morning.”

“Shut up. Really?!” Lup asks.

“We’ve been talking for nearly three hours now?” Magnus follows up with.

“‘Fraid so.” As if on cue, Barry yawns. “It certainly feels like it.”

“Your man’s right,” Taako points out. “Ango is fast asleep at this time in the night. Or he should me. His grandpappy doesn’t exactly understand the concept of “bedtime”. But, hey Lup?” Taako squeezes her hand. “You are _defo_ coming over tomorrow and meeting the rest of the family. What I’ve told you is only a taste of what’s to come. Everybody’s gonna love you two and you’ll love them, trust me. They’re a great gang.”

His words of encouragement do nothing to disperse the panic in Lup’s mind. “So...does that mean you guys are about to head out for the night?”

“Might as well.” Taako sets his glass aside on a nearby coffee table. “I don’t want to go...but I think we’re gonna have a pretty wild day tomorrow and we better be well rested for it.”

Lup bites the inside of her cheek. “...You’re right. I just…” She sets her glass of wine down right beside Taako’s. Then she throws her arms around him.

Taako returns the embrace, patting her back gently. “I’m not going anywhere far this time. I promise.”

“I know you aren’t,” Lup whispers into his ear. “But…”

“Yeah, I know.”

One moment, they are holding each other on the couch. The next, Lup is watching Taako and Magnus pulling out of the neighborhood and into the thick blanket of the night. And just like that, he’s...gone.

But Taako isn’t gone. He’s back in Lup’s life and that fact is just as bewildering a few hours ago as it is now.

And they have so much more to talk about. Perhaps behind a closed door, away from their loved ones where they can truly dive into the soap opera-esk life they have been forced to live. Where they can address the issues only the two of them can get passed together.

Lup stares out into the street for several minutes until finally tearing her eyes off from the distance. When she turns around, Barry is waiting for her right outside the front door to their house. The place they have made their home, just the two of them.

Now, Lup has the feeling that their home just became a whole lot bigger.


	4. Meet the Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup and Barry shake a lot of hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support! This week was extra stressful and all of your wonderful comments and kudos made it easier to get through :)

As soon as Lup goes to bed following her reunion with Taako, she passes out for a good twelve hours. A deep sleep does her exhaust-stricken body wonders and she wakes up feeling less like her eyelids are being weighed down by a pair of dumbbells.

Emotionally, her health could do for a longer rest but that’s not going to stop Lup from meeting the rest of Taako’s family the following day.

Barry is already in the kitchen pouring a bowl of cereal when Lup wanders in. When he notices her, he smiles and pulls out another bowl to pour into.

Lup grins slyly, coming up behind Barry and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Mmm, _Cinnamon Toast Crunch_. My favorite.”

“It’s not the healthiest cereal out there, but damn if it isn’t good,” Barry confesses as he finishes topping off the second bowl.

Lup chuckles before pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.”

“For what? The cereal?”

“Well, that too.” She buries her face in the crook of his neck. “Just...for being so supportive these past few days. I really needed it.”

Barry sighs fondly. “I know you did. I’d do anything for you, Lup.”

“Sap.” He laughs. “If there’s anything I can do for you, just say the word. I’m here for you, too.”

“Now who’s being sappy?” This time they both laugh. “Actually...there is one thing you could do for me.”

Lup looks up at him. “What’s that?”

“Get the milks out of the fridge?”

She smiles. “Of course.”

In the moments before, after, and in between the many reunions Lup is sure to go through, these small moments with Barry give her the time to breathe. It’s a slice of domestic simplicity and warmth that she cherishes, even if her excitement for what follows that day makes her skin tingly and her heart skip a beat. It’s the way Barry drowns her cereal with milk and douses his with soy milk, just the way they both like it. It’s the way he sits across from her from the dining table, her feet tapping against his as her legs sway back and forth. It’s the way one of them will make eye contact with the other between bites and blush, turning them both back into the college freshmen they met as. Hopelessly in love and overly affectionate. There are butterflies in Lup’s stomach, despite the fact that they have been married for years now.

She loves him and he loves her, warts and all.

When they finish their cereal, the two of them get ready for the trip ahead of them. The anticipation slowly creeps up on Lup, leeching the soothing peacefulness of her moment with Barry away from her. Her blood pressure spikes, her lungs contract, and her head is spinning. Hopefully, there won’t be too many reunions after this or she may have to sedate herself.

Once they are ready, they pile into Barry’s _Equinox_ and head out to the address Taako texted Lup earlier that morning. Magnus’ house is only fifteen minutes away, meaning her brother has only been a handful of minutes away from her all this time.

Well, about a day’s drive to Chicago in reality but she puts that fact aside for later.

Neither the less, it boggles her mind. Lup knows the neighborhood they live in. She has gone garage saling there more than once. Maybe she bought something from Magnus in the past? Then again, she’s never seen him before the many times she’s traveled there. Maybe he didn’t have anything to sell.

Through their neighborhood, down the adjacent road, and a few turns later, they arrive in the cul de sac the address has directed them to. Lup reads the house numbers desperately, scanning them faster than her brain can keep up with.

“No, not that-THERE! Barry, it’s that one!”

Lup nearly slaps Barry in the face as she points across the street at a rustic cottage. Tall trees flank it from the backside and the Blue Ridge mountains face it further north. The lawn has been freshly mowed, with all the grass clippings compiled in several paper sacks sitting by the curb. Swaying delicately on the front porch is a wooden rocking chair whose polish glistens in the sunlight. Even from a distance, the attention to detail carved into the wood is astonishing, and it is without a doubt the most beautiful piece of furniture Lup has ever seen.

Barry pulls the _Equinox_ into the driveway, right behind the pickup truck that pulled into theirs the night before. Without saying a word, he turns down the AC and puts his hand on the key stuck in the ignition.

“You ready?” he asks her.

Lup takes a deep breath. “You know it.”

Barry nods and turns the key, killing the engine. He tucks it in his pocket and steps out of the car.

The moment he does, there is a wild shriek and Barry is thrown against the driver’s window.

“Barry!?” Lup jumps out of the car, slamming the door behind her and running to her husband’s aid. “Barry, what-?”

Before Lup can get another word out, the child that has just climbed on top of Barry’s shoulders starts screaming at him. “BLAARG! INTRUD’R! WHAT’R YOU DOIN’ ON OUR TERRIT’RY?”

“I- _Ow!_ ” Barry struggles to say as the child starts pulling on his hair. “Lup, uh a little- _help?! Ouch!_ ”

Lup doesn’t move. She can’t. All of a sudden there is a deep, dark fear seeping through her veins. Her hesitation costs Barry a chunk of hair as the child tugs at his scalp one last time.

“ARGH! THAT’LL TEACH YA TO MESS WITH GRAN’ MAST’R MOOKY! GET OFF MAG’S PROP’RTY!” The kid, Mooky, then proceeds to try and rip Barry’s glasses off of his face, to which Lup finds she still can’t force herself to intervene.

Suddenly, the door to the cottage bursts open and an older woman steps out. “MOOKY! GET OFF OF THAT MAN RIGHT NOW! THAT IS NO WAY TO TREAT FAMILY!”

“WHA? FAMILY? _OH!_ ” Mooky leaps off of Barry’s shoulders and hits the ground hard, falling on his butt. Less than a second later, he’s back on his feet and running up to Lup. “YOU’RE TAAKO’S TWIN! YOU’RE MY OLD’R SIST’R!”

Lup has faced many of her fears in her lifetime. Tests worth a large portion of her semester grade, large needles, and abandonment. But somehow, four foot nothing Mooky, with hair rattier than a bird’s nest and clothes dirtier than a pig sty has her shaking where she stands. The world around her shrinks around her as Mooky’s dimpled face grows higher and higher until she’s towering underneath him. The shadow he casts turns her blood to ice, freezing her in place.

She feels...troubled- _haunted,_ and if she could run away she would do so in a heartbeat.

Mooky’s expression loses its light as Lup fails to return his enthusiasm. “Wha’s wrong? R’ya shy?”

Lup stays silent. Then Barry takes her hand and her brain starts to manufacture the appropriate response. “No, I’m fine. It’s nice to meet you...Mooky.”

Her voice is brittle, like the last of the ice on the road as winter comes to an end. The corners of her lips quiver upwards in an attempt to smile but it’s obvious how uncomfortable she is.

Mooky gives her an odd, almost hurt look. His eyes don’t start to water but their shine blinds Lup and strikes something inside of her. Some part of her is angry at herself, telling her she did something wrong. That she messed up. Now Mooky is distraught and it’s all her fault-

“Alright, Mooky, why don’t you go inside and tell your older brother she’s here, okay?” The older woman says as she approaches them.

Upon hearing the woman, Mooky’s face is radiant again, and he turns around and runs back inside like nothing happened. Lup’s hand raises into the air as he leaves, but she’s not sure why. To apologize? To give herself a second chance to introduce herself? She puts it down before anyone asks her what’s wrong.

“You’ll have to forgive my son. He gets all that from his father. My name’s Hekuba.” Hekuba greets them warmly, every word out of her mouth as polite as the look on her face. She holds out her hand and Barry shakes it immediately. From the greying hair and more defined wrinkles, Lup guesses she’s at least twice their age at the least.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Barry replies fondly. “I’m Barry and this is Lup.”

Hekuba turns her gaze to Lup and the creases around her eyes tighten as her smile grows. “So you’re the one I’ve heard so much about! Darling, it is truly a blessing to have you with us today.”

The tension locking Lup’s joints in place subsides. There is something about Hekuba’s demeanor that lowers her guard. Perhaps it’s her body language or the genuine emotion in everything she says. “I’m...really glad to be here. Sorry, I’m kind of a mess right now. This is all very…”

“Shocking?” Hekuba finishes.

“Yeah, you could say that.”

Hekuba chuckles. “I completely understand. Don’t worry, Lup. Everyone here is overjoyed and fully intend on giving you the warmest welcome possible. You can relax now.”

As if on demand, Lup’s shoulders drop and she exhales deeply.

Hekuba laughs again. “Better?”

“Better.”

“Great. Now are you ready to go inside?”

Lup nods.

“Well then, follow me you two.”

 

 

There isn’t a conga line of family members waiting for them inside to greet them both one by one. Instead, what seems like a hoard of folks varying in age, height, and weight all burst into cheers when Lup passes through the front door. It’s sensory overload hearing a bunch of people try to welcome her to the family and also immediately try to put Barry on blast to see if he is a good husband or not.

Thankfully, Taako pushes his way past the crowd and calls everyone to attention. “HEY HEY! You’re swarming the two. Back up! You’ll all get a chance to meet the greatest sister ever and give Barry over here the shovel talk. Now shoo! SHOO!”

A little begrudgingly, Taako’s family takes a few steps back, all while trying to atone for their excitement.

Taako wraps an arm around Lup’s shoulders. “So...this is my family. Now stick with me. There is a lotta names you gotta remember, but no one’s gonna fault you if you forget, okay?”

Lup looks to the crowd in front of her and then back at her brother. “Okay. I-I'll do my best,” she responds, her voice more vulnerable than she would like.

“Aww, Lulu.” Taako pulls her into a side-hug, long enough to comfort her but short enough not to make her feel awkward. “If you’re worried about making a good first impression, don’t be. This is a reunion, not a blind-dating session.”

Lup giggles. “I sure hope it isn’t.”

The comment earns her a laugh from Taako and a few other family members. “Alright then. Let’s start with you old man.” He points to a shorter man standing near the front.

“Hey! I’m not that old!” The man protests, stepping forward and offering both hands out to shake for the couple. “Hiya you two! My name’s Merle. I’m, uh, Taako’s adoptive father, so if you want to see any embarrassing high school photos of him, all you gotta do is ask.”

“Oh my God, dad!” Taako gasps. “Don’t listen to him! I was just as cool in high school as I am today! I definitely did NOT go through a scrunchy phase!”

“Uh huh, yeah. Keep telling yourself that, kiddo.”

Merle seems to be similar to Hekuba in age, but with much more grey in his beard and even more wrinkles on his face. He is dressed in a hawaiian shirt that is screaming heavy beach vibes and his hair is pulled back into a small little bun with a flower poking out of it.

And just like Hekuba, Lup feels at ease with him. “Pleasure to meet you, Merle. Thanks for taking care of my brother all these years.”

“Ah shucks, no need to thank me for that. Just make yourself at home! I hear ya already met my other son, Mooky, and his mom.”

“Oh, you and Hekuba are married?” Barry asks.

“I’m his ex,” Hekuba corrects him, stepping forward. “But we’re on good terms. And this little girl right here is my daughter, Ma-Mavis? Mavis, where are you?”

From behind where Merle is standing pops out a young girl who looks no older than thirteen. Her thick hair has been braided into twin pigtails that fall on her shoulders and there is a wide pair of pink-framed glasses covering her eyes.

“Ah, there you are! Come say hi, sweetie.” Hekuba coaxes her over and Mavis silently stands by her mother’s side.

“Uh, hello. I’m Mavis. I’m super sorry about Mooky. I know he can be pretty rambunctious around strangers so sorry if he tried to attack you or anything.”

“It’s alright,” Barry assures her. “My hair will grow back. No harm done.”

There is beat of silence that follows where Lup is supposed to jump in and say something. But just like before, her brain can’t formulate any words. Mavis casts an even bigger shadow than Mooky, being that she’s older and already looks somewhat distraught. She gives Lup a quizzical look. “Are you feeling okay, Mrs. Lup?”

Lup swallows back the lump in her throat. “Hmmhmm. It’s nice to meet you, Mavis. I...I like what you’ve done to your hair. It looks really cute.”

Mavis looks away from her sharply and Lup is fully convinced she’s offended her for a solid second. However, upon closer inspection, there is a faint pink blush forming on Mavis’ cheeks. “Thank you, ma’am. I braided them myself for the first time. I’m really proud of how they turned out.”

Lup lets out a sigh she has no control over.

“That’s four people down-no wait,” Merle stops himself. “You met Magnus last night, right?”

“Y-Yes, we did.” Lup tips the imaginary hat on top of her head at Magnus, who is standing farther back. “Magnus.”

Magnus tip his imaginary hat back. “Lup. Barry.”

“Okay and next we got-let’s see who's closest…” Being stouter than everyone else in the room, Merle struggles to look past Magnus’ buff build to see who else has yet to introduce themselves. “Carey, I saw your hair first so you’re up next.”

“Sweet!” Pushing her way out of the crowd is a shorter woman with blue, spiked hair that Lup instantly wants to wear herself. She is athletically built, if her muscle tone and choice of clothing is anything to go off of. Behind her follows a taller, heavier built woman whose black hair has been pulled back into a high ponytail. “What’s up, Taaco number two? I’m Carey and this is my wife Killian.”

The two of them offer out their hands, which Lup and Barry shake back in return. Lup notices how Barry winces underneath Killian’s grip and how the taller woman smirks back. “So you’re Mr. Bluejeans, huh?” Killian questions him.

“I-I am,” Barry stutters, clutching his injured hand once the handshake is finished. “How are you two related to Taako and Lup?”

“Oh we aren’t,” Carey answers. “We’re just really, really good friends. Which I guess practically makes us family, right babe?”

“I’d say so,” Killian nods. She leans in closer to Barry. “Which means that if you ever, _ever_ try to harm a single hair on Lup’s head, we’ll be right behind the others to hunt you down and kill you, okay?”

Barry gulps. “I hear you loud and clear. I’m not that strong so don’t waste your time getting out the pitchforks. I’ll offer myself over willingly if it ever came down to that.”

Lup watches the scene intently, not sure if she should be laughing or trying to offer her husband aid from Killian’s deathly stare. Right when she’s about to say something. The couple bursts into laughter, clutching each other and their abdomens to keep themselves from falling over.

“We’re just messing with you, Bluejeans!” Carey wheezes.

Killian wipes a tear from her eye. “Man, what a stoic answer. Listen to this romantic over here! Oh my _God._ ”

Carey slaps a hand on Barry’s shoulder. “Sorry for giving you such a rough time. I think we’re all gonna get along just fine. Lup, you’ve picked out an A+ spouse if I do say so myself.”

Lup shakes her head, laughing. “Sweet heavens, you two are a riot. Can’t wait to get to know you both better.”

Carey and Killian wander over to the side of the room, parting way for Taako to walk over with another man who looks like he wants to punt himself into the sun. He is a good half foot taller than Taako, with broad shoulders and a sturdy stature. His dreadlocks have been pulled back partly, just enough to keep the strands of hair from falling into his eyes. Everything about this man screams dorky, from the button-up shirt, to black slacks, to-where those seriously loafers covering his feet?

Oh, Lup is going to going to have a field day with this fellow, who she strongly suspects to be-

“Hey hey hey, you two. Guess who it is?” Taako is grinning wildly, somewhat like the Cheshire Cat. “That’s right, it’s _Kravitz_ . Y’know, the one I told you about last night? The one I’m currently _dating?_ ”

“Taako, please no,” Kravitz pleads under his breath.

“The one I smooth a lot and go on dates with?”

“Please, I’m begging you-”

“Aww, what’s wrong, babe? Am I making you _embarrassed?_ ” Taako says in his sing-song voice.

Kravitz puts his head in his hands. “Yes, you most definitely are.”

“Aww-ahahaha _ha!_ Oh, Krav, I’m so sorry! I had to! Lup, look at this guy! You see how adorable he is right?”

Kravitz peaks between the gaps in his fingers, only to see Lup glaring back at him. “Hmmmm….Carey? Killian? You two give this nerd the same talk, yet?”

Carey’s, “Oh yeah,” mixes with Killian’s, “You know it,” as they talk over each other.

“Then I don’t need to repeat anything.” Lup drops the threatening facade and smiles. “It is nice to meet you, Grim.”

Kravitz drops his hand. “Grim-?”

“Taako told me about your whole funeral biz. So I guess I should be expecting to be seeing a lot more of you in the future, huh?”

“I m-most certainly hope so,” Kravitz confesses. “Wait! I mean, not in the funeral sense, of course. Unless that’s what you were implying, which is quite concerning-”

Lup snorts loudly. “Geez _louise!_ There’s no need to be acting like such a mess! You’re worse than Barry after we first started dating!”

“Hey, wait a minute,” Barry steps in. “Now, I thought after we got past that whole “awkward phase” as lab partners, I was pretty composed.”

Lup takes his hand. “No you weren’t babe. No you certainly were _not_.”

Barry frowns. “Well then...nice to meet you Kravitz. Seems we’re stuck in the same boat of ridicule and _unfair_ bullying, if I may add.

“Oh, c’mon Barold, don’t be like that,” Taako grins. Suddenly, his eyes widen. “ _OH!_ How could I forget!? Ango?! Ango, get over here! Come meet your Aunt Lup!”

Lup is not given a moment to prepare herself to meet the little boy who comes running towards the four of them. He is taller than both Mooky and Mavis, with curly hair and coke glasses that magnify his pupils tremendously. His choice of clothing involves layering a soccer jersey over a white polo shirt, which Lup would be gushing over if she weren’t currently being towered over again.

Angus stands taller than any skyscraper ever built by human hands, and Lup feels so, _so_ small in comparison. The ground beneath her feet is caving in, sending her falling faster and faster down into the inky black darkness of her insecurities. She can’t breathe. She can’t think rationally. All that she knows is that she’s scared. She’s scared of Angus and what his place in her life means now. Just yesterday, the idea of meeting him made her overjoyed but now Lup wishes she could just disappear. If she disappears, she can never hurt him and Angus will be fine. But just by being near him, she’s ruining his life and stripping him of a better future; a future where she doesn’t exist. She can’t be in his life without messing it up, she’s sure of it.

It’s too much too fast and before Lup knows it, she’s running out of the house, Barry and everyone else calling out after her.


	5. Inside the Closed Doors of a Chevy Equinox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup confesses. Taako gives some advice. Barry is a sap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this chapter just as I was hit with a pretty nasty cold so if it sounds like it was written and edited in a fever dream, you know why. If I need to revise it when I'm better, I'll do that. But for right now, I'm gonna go take a nap.
> 
> As always, thank you all for your support!

Nothing can hurt Lup in Barry’s  _ Equinox _ , that she is sure of.

The doors are closed, the windows are rolled up, and she is completely locked away from the outside world. It’s her space now, a space where the only noise to break the silence is her unsteady breathing and the drumming of her heartbeat in her ears. If she stays right where she is for the rest of time, everything will be okay.

Unfortunately for Lup, she is an adult, so no matter where she goes, her troubles will always follow her.

“What just happened?” she whispers to herself, as if asking will give her an immediate answer. Lup already knows what’s wrong; she has some  _ bad _ parenting anxiety that is somehow triggered by being next to children. That’s fifty shades of messed up and more in her own opinion.

Why is she still even afraid of being a mother? Taako is back in her life now. The two of them turned out just fine after everything they went through. Now they both have formed their own paths and started their own families. They’re both  _ happy _ .

So why is Lup so terrified of Angus in particular? How can she go from wanting to meet him more than anything else in the world to wanting to get as far away from him as fast as she possibly can? Where did all those thoughts of “ruining his life” come from?

There is a gentle rapping on the passenger window and when Lup looks over, Barry is standing outside of the car. Lup sighs and unlocks the doors. Why she even felt the need to lock them in the first place bothers her.

Barry slides into the passenger seat and closes the car door. He shifts in place for a moment, trying to get as comfortable as possible, before going still. “Y’know...I think you were right when you said this car has kind of a grandma vibe.”

Lup laughs, mainly in disbelief in how out of all the things her husband could have commented on, the  _ Equinox  _ was the first thing. “You’re the one who still decided to buy it so don’t blame me if you don’t like the aesthetic.”

“No, I do like it. Actually, now that I think about, it has sort of a more...soccer mom vibe , you know?”

Lup doesn’t laugh this time, too caught off on the three-letter word in the sentence that starts with an M. There is a sickening silence between them that lasts for a century.

Barry sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“Do you want to talk about happened in there?” he asks softly.

Lup brushes a stray hair out of her face only to have it fall back down again. “Maybe? I...I don’t know. Barry, I...I-I think there’s something  _ wrong _ with me.”

“Lup,” Barry says longingly. He reaches over and takes her hand. “Everyone has issues they have to deal with. It’s okay-”

“But- _ God  _ Barry, I’m afraid of  _ children? _ Like,  _ little kids?! _ That’s what spooks me so much I have to come hide in your stupid old lady car?!”

She rips her hand out of Barry’s grasp and grabs two large grips of her hair, slumping over against the steering wheel. It sounds worse saying it out loud than in her head. How is she even supposed to fix this? Just looking at her nephew and adoptive siblings pushes her over the edge, which doesn’t really open any doors towards aversion therapy unless she wants to send herself into a full-on panic attack. Going to an actual therapist may be a start, but Lup has no idea what she would say.  _ Oh yeah, tiny little tots? They scare the shit out of me. _

And frankly, the thought of going to therapy scares her senseless.

There is a pair of hands covering hers, and slowly they begin to untangle her fingers out of her hair so she doesn’t damage her scalp. Lup shuts her eyes, stricken with shame, as Barry rubs a thumb over her knuckles and kisses her palm. He is so much more than Lup deserves and she knows it.

“I’m sorry for insulting your car.”

He chuckles half-heartedly. “I know you didn’t mean it.”

Lup is once again fighting back tears. “How do I get past this, Bar? What am I...what am I supposed to do? What  _ can _ I do?”

Barry is quiet for a moment. “I think...well, just like you said, it’s gonna take some time. Maybe you should tell Taako what’s wrong? Just so he understands what happened in there. I’m sorry that...there’s not much I can do...”

A tear cascades down Lup’s cheek. “Damn it, you made me cry again.” Barry brushes the tear off of her face and Lup goes into hysteria, laughing as she’s crying. “Oh my God! Stop! Stop  _ please! _ You’re too much, Barry. Seriously, how are you this god damn  _ sweet?! _ ”

Barry smiles. “That’s flattering, Lup. So...what can I do for you right now?”

It takes Lup a minute to fully calm down. Once she’s wiped her face dry, it takes her another minute to make a rational decision. “Can you...can you go grab Taako for me?”

“Of course.”

 

 

 

Taako slides into the  _ Equinox’s _ passenger seat with the ease and grace of a feline. He shuts the door, straightens out the creases on his blouse, and without warning makes a disgusted face. “Eww. This seat is warm.”

The comment earns a quick laugh from Lup, who tries her best not to sound as distraught as she appears. Unfortunately for her, Taako is her brother, and even after all these years he can easily pick up on her emotional state. “Sorry if you, ah, got a bit overwhelmed in there. Everyone was just hyped up to meet you and they don’t exactly get the concept of,” Taako uses his fingers to form air quotes, ““personal space,” even on a good day.”

Lup shakes her head. “It...it wasn’t that. They were all great. You’ve found yourself a good family, Koko…”

Taako nods. “Yeah...they’re good folks. Gotten me through some rough times when you weren’t there…” He looks over at her, with a mature kind of empathy in his eyes that the kid Lup knew all those years ago never had. “Lup...do want to talk about what happened in there? I don’t know what’s going on but...it helps. It  _ really _ does help make things better. Or at the very least, easier to deal with.”

Lup looks down at her lap, her fingers absently mindedly fiddling with her wedding ring to relieve her of some small amount of her anxiety. “You ready for me to drop some heavy shit on you?”

“I’m all ears, sis. Light me the fuck up.”

With that, Lup takes a deep breath and holds it in, long enough for her lungs to sting. Then she releases it and says, “I’m scared of becoming a parent.”

Taako’s eyes just about pop out of his skull. “Woah woah woah wait,  _ what?! _ Are...a-are you and Barry Bluejeans over there planning on having kids?!” He is beaming, his hands fidgeting with anticipation, but then he contains his enthusiasm, suddenly growing gravely concerned. “What...what bothers you about it?”

Lup’s brow furrows. She grits her teeth nervously. “You know what happened to us, Taako. Our parents were too bonkers to raise us and then we got passed around like...like an unwanted Candlenights gift or something...I...I wouldn’t want our kid to  _ ever _ have to risk going through something like that.”

Taako’s gaze sharpens. “Do you think that you and Barry could ever do something like that?”

“Oh  _ course not! _ ” Lup says defensively.

‘Well then you don't have to worry about that!”

“But Taako!” Lup huffs. “What...what if it  _ did _ happen. Like, I don’t think it ever will, but if it  _ did _ …”

Her voice cuts off towards the end of her sentence and Lup has to stop talking to keep herself from breaking down again. Speaking on her most deepest, darkest thoughts is like wrangling a wild boar that’s size her size into a pin that is way too small for either of them to fit in. It’s hard and it  _ hurts  _ and it sucks.

Then she looks over at Taako. He is looking at her with such a strong respect, with so much understanding that it leaves her reeling. “Lup...we haven’t gotten the chance yet to talk about the... _ ickier  _ stuff that happened when we were separated yet. Mind if I tell you a bit about what happened to me?”

Lup shakes her head.

“Alright, make yourself comfortable. You see, cha boy didn’t just wake up one day and decide that he wanted to open up a baller restaurant. No, there was a lot of things that let up to that crazy life decision. After high school, I got accepted into a culinary school in Chicago and spent two semesters there until I got expelled.”

“Wait, what?!” Lup gasps. “You...you got  _ expelled?! _ ”

“Look, it wasn’t my intention,” Taako chuckles, somewhat sinisterly, before ridding the rumor from the situation entirely. “My roommate and I got into a fight. He sabotaged my finals project and I let it get to me. My grades were fine, I should have just let it go...but I didn’t. And until recently, I’ve been too ashamed to cook for anyone. I just started doing it again about a year ago.”

A white-hot ball of flame burns in Lup’s chest. She grabs Taako’s shoulder and forces him to look her dead in the eye. “Tell me who this motherfucker is and I’ll go kill his ass for you.”

“Oh don’t bother with that, Lu. I sent his ass to jail.”

“ _ What? _ ”

“Yeah, you see this?” Taako points at the faint scar across the bridge of his nose, the same one Lup noticed the night before. “Last year, we all went to the local cemetery to mourn Mangus’ last wife, Julia. I’ll tell you about her some other time. But anyway, Sazed-that’s his name-shows up for the funeral that’s going on, so of course I run into him. He looked...he looked pretty rough. Didn’t really take getting expelled as well as I did. Some words were said, none of them very pleasant, and then Magnus stepped in and punched the guy.”

Lup makes a mental note to give Mangus a very well-deserved high five.

“ _ Buuuut _ that backfires pretty quickly because I didn’t get out of the way fast enough to avoid Sazed socking me right in the nose. It knocked me the _ fuck out _ . One side of my nose was bending the wrong way and I had blood coming out of my nose-it was gross, I'll just leave it at that.”

“So…that was enough to send him to the pokey?”

“Hmmm...I doubt it,” Taako shrugs. “Nah, what really got him was the restraining order I put in place shortly after we got expelled. Didn’t want to take any chances and I’m sure as hell glad I did it. He got out about a month ago but I don’t think he’s planning on making another appearance in my life anytime soon.”

Lup’s eyes fall from Taako’s to his scar. It is easier to see in the mid-morning sun than it is during sunset. Up close, she notices how it dips down from the bridge of his nose to the left just slightly towards the end.

“I’m glad he did show up though,” Taako admits quietly. “Angus didn’t know about the culinary school thing and having him find out through that was...kinda a dick move on my part. Sure, I had no control over it but I should’ve told the kid about it long ago. I opened up about it to him shortly after and it helped him open up more about some of his own personal shit. And then Mags,  _ God _ , he’s been struggling ever since Julia died....I convinced him to try opening up about her death and he’s been going to therapy for months now. He’s  _ so much better _ , Lup...so much better.”

Lup stares back up at him and smiles. “I’m proud of you, Taako….”

Taako smiles back. “What I’m trying to get across to you, though, is that you need to be open about your shit. It’s gonna be rough, and it’s gonna scare the hell out of you...but I really think you can do it. You  _ can _ do it and you  _ will _ find closure in it. I’ll be there with you every step of the way, and everyone inside that house will be too, okay?”

When it comes to what Lup has wanted versus what her demons have always wanted, the demons have always gotten their way. She allows herself to stand on the opposite side of a canyon and let every self-deprecating thought inside of her tear down the bridge to the other side.

Now, Taako, Barry, and her new family are standing on the other side fashioning a new bridge for her to cross over. All she has to do now is be brave enough to make the journey.

Lup thinks that she is finally ready to give it a try.

“Okay.”

Taako beams. “Really?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Lup admits. “Now...can you go get Angus for me? I think I owe him a better introduction.”


	6. Meet Ango

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup is nervous. Angus is too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still sick but I managed to crank this bad boy out. Does this mean I write faster if I am undergoing some kind of suffering???
> 
> As always, thank you all for reading!!!!!!

Angus looks just about as anxious as Lup feels, which is a fair reaction. The moment the kiddo thought he was going to finally meet his long-lost aunt, she bolted out the door like a frightened animal. So Lup takes full credit for the frown on his face and the crease in between his brows. Totally her fault, one hundred percent, so sorry Ango.

It’s just the two of them-well, technically three of them, Taako is sitting on the rocking chair on the front porch-out in Magnus’ front yard in. Everyone else is indoors, undoubtedly taking turns interrogating Barry about his intentions with his wife. The poor guy doesn’t deserve any beef, but Barry can take a hit and it seems like the punches being thrown at him are less lethal than meets the eye.

“ _ Soooooooo _ ,” Lup starts, immediately at a loss for words. God, what is she supposed to say to this kid? Her  _ nephew? _ Is she allowed to swear in front of him or should she lower her vocabulary to a soft PG-13 rating? Maybe that’s pushing a bit too far. PG vocab it will be. “Sorry about...running out like that, Angus. I didn’t mean to...upset you are anything...I didn’t, did I?”

“Oh, n-no ma’am,” Angus stutters, his lie so bad off a stiff wind could blow it over. His hands are nervously balling up the ends of his shirt and his eyes are looking anywhere but directly at her.

Lup sighs and tries to think of the best way to defuse the situation. “Look, it’s okay. You don’t have to lie to me. I’m...really sorry about leaving you hanging like that. I just...I got a bit stunned by all the attention and…”

This conversation isn’t going anywhere. Angus seems like he’s ready to run away himself, probably back inside where people who are genuinely comfortable around him are. Lup knows she did more than just spook the poor kid; she breached a layer of trust that hadn’t even been formed yet.

If she wants to get on the right foot with her nephew, then she’s going to have to be braver than this, damnit.

“I’m scared of children.”

Angus is startled, his eyes going wide. He looks up at her and untangles his hands from his shirt. “Pardon?”

Lup breaks eye contact and stares off down the cul de sac, rubbing her arm fearfully. “I, uh, I said...I’m scared of kids...l-like you-” Suddenly, her stomach drops. “NO! No no no! Not like... _ you _ you! No, there’s nothing wrong with you, Angus. I just mean...kids in general! All kids! Children from across the globe! I’m, ah...just making this worse, aren’t I? Fuck. OH  _ SHIT! _ I shouldn’t swear! Damnit! NO I JUST DID IT _ AGAIN-! _ ”

“Uh, ma’am?” Angus steps in hesitantly.

Lup freezes. Any word that comes out of his mouth puts her in her place immediately.

“What do you mean when...when you say that?”

_ Oh God, confession time all over again _ , Lup thinks. “Well, Me and, uh, Taako, your dad-Ah,  _ Jesus _ , that sounds so weird coming out of my own mouth!  _ BLECK! _ ” On impulse, Lup over-dramatizes her disgust and pretends to vomit all over Magnus’ freshly mowed lawn.

Without any warning, Angus laughs.

Lup’s heart stops beating for a full second. It’s a small laugh, almost an uneasy chuckle, but it’s a laugh nonetheless. Promptly, there’s a voice in Lup’s head telling her to back out of this scene right now. She should get the hell out of Dodge before something terrible happens to this innocent little boy who is giggling at some poor goof she just made.

Then a new voice, one she has never heard before asks,  _ What could possibly happen right now in this yard that would ruin Angus? _

And just like that, Lup’s back on track.

“Anyway, me and...your  _ dad _ -yeesh-didn’t exactly have a, ah...a very good childhood. Your grandma and grandpa Taaco weren’t the, quote unquote, “ _ best _ ” legal guardians out there so we got bounced around distant relatives and foster homes for many years.”

“Until, you two were separated, right,?” Angus asks.

Oh man, if that doesn’t strike a nerve deep in Lup’s adolescent trauma. “R-Right, yeah, until that…” She trails off for a bit, not sure how much more she should explain or if what she’s said so far is good enough. “I...I have some  _ issues _ with having children under my care, of even the thought of it, because I’m afraid...I’m af- _ fraid _ …”

Holy cannoli, the words are right there on the tip of Lup’s tongue and she just can’t  _ say them _ . There’s some kind of psychological roadblock cutting off her brain from her vocal chords and no one is coming to her aid to save her. Taako is too far away to hear the conversation, Angus is listening way to intently to take the hint, and Barry is trapped in Magnus’ cottage.

_ C’mon, me, just  _ say it _. Just... _ say what the issue is _. You just did it a few minutes ago! Why do you have to make everything so goddamn complicated-? _

“It’s okay, ma’am. I think I understand what you’re trying to say.”

Angus, her nephew and the one semi-responsible for her current discomfort, is the one who finally notices her dilemma and saves her.

Lup stares at him, utterly shocked, and would be at a complete loss at what to say if she already wasn’t. The boy’s shadow shrinks back down to its normal size as Angus goes back to being at his regular height, the top of his head just barely underneath her chin. For the first time that day, he’s looking  _ up _ at her, not down.

It’s the relief that catches up to her next that allows her to come up with a response. “So..I just wanted to clear the air on that whole, shebang before, uh...yeah. And I also want to give you a better first meeting, since that first one doesn’t count. It never happened,  _ wink _ .” She says wink as she also makes the facial gesture.

Angus grins and winks back. “ _ Wink _ . Can I tell you something, ma’am?”

“Yeah, shoot little man.”

“You remind me a lot of my uncle’s coworker, Avi Samara. Do you know him?”

“I don’t but if he’s as hilarious around me, then I’d love to learn all about him.”

A spark of enthusiasm dances around in Angus’ eyes.

“But how about we go inside first, okay? It’s way too damn chilly out here, to be honest. Oop! Uh...sorry about that.”

“Oh you can swear around me, ma’am,” Angus assures her. “Dad does it all the time.”

“Does he now.” Lup peaks over Angus’ head and gives Taako a smug glare. “Hmmm...okay, I’m not complaining!”

Angus chuckles and Lup’s chest seizes up, but the tensions quickly eases away. He turns around to head back inside when a thought quickly occurs to her. “Oh wait! Hey Angus?”

He looks back to her. “Yes, ma’am?”

“You...you can drop the “ma’am” thing. It’s adorable how respectable you are, but Aunt Lup is cool, too. Just...it might take some time for me to adjust to it, so...roll with me here, okay pumpkin?”

Angus smiles so wide Lup can see the his uvula dangling at the back of his throat. Before she can comprehend what is happening, he throws his arms around her torso and pulls her in close.

Lup goes rigid. Okay, she said she was coming to terms with the “kids not being that scary” thing but hugging is taking it way too far for comfort.

Angus soon realizes what he’s doing and takes a step back. “I’m sorry, ma-uh, Aunt Lup! I didn’t mean to-!”

“No!” Lup cuts him off. “No, Angus, it’s-! It’s okay…” She puts a hand on his shoulder and tries her best not to flinch at the contact. “I may need a  _ little _ more time before I’m down with hugs and stuff, okay?’

“Oh, yeah, right.” Angus looks away, shame written all over his face and it hurts Lup physically to see his happiness drained away so quickly.

_ I messed up I messed up I messed up- _

_ No, I’m fine. Angus is fine. It just takes time to work things out. _

“Hey, weren’t you gonna tell me about this Avi guy or something? And what happened to going inside where the heating system is? C’mon, Ango, move!  _ Pronto! _ My toes are freezing off!”

She shoves him playfully and when Angus starts laughing again, Lup knows that he’s alright. Taako follows the two of them inside and they all slide back into the family commotion with ease. Lup spends the rest of that day learning more about the famous Avi Samara, who works with Magnus at a local craftsman shop. She gets into an arm wrestling contest with Killian and wins, but only by a hair, and carves some time in to get to know Kravitz a bit better. Merle brings out the high school photo albums he promised Lup he had tucked away and Taako nearly cries with embarrassment when they get to his junior yearbook picture. “That was a different me! The Taako today would have  _ never _ gotten a perm!”

Hekuba and her end up having a nice, friendly discussion that lasts for about a half hour before Taako is dragging her into the kitchen to cook together for the first time in thirteen years. Even after spending so much time apart, they work together like peas in a pod, moving around the cooking area gracefully and perfectly in sync. They prepare a wicked roast turkey together with plenty of fixings for everyone to sink their teeth into and when everyone finally sits down together to eat, Taako is on her left grinning ear to ear and Barry is on her right, holding her hand underneath Magnus’ dining table.

Every moment following Lup’s talk with Angus is pleasant and  _ nice _ . There is a warmth in her chest that makes her limbs tingly and her heart soar with every pump of blood that goes through her system. Even when Barry and her climb back into his  _ Equinox _ to turn in the the night, the feeling of comfort never leaves her.

This is Lup’s new life, one that is born from the one she lived with Taako and the one she has started with Barry. There are still some kinks that need to be sorted out, like the fact that she never really put in the effort to hang out with her nephew and step-siblings at all that night, but there will be time for that later. What follows in this next chapter of her life is sure to open up many doors, hopefully some that will help her cope with what happened in the past.

Lup is ready to face whatever comes her way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may sound like it's the end but it's not! There is more to come.


	7. A Play to be Thankful For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup panics. Mooky wants to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know nothing about sports, especially football, so most of the sports-related stuff in this chapter is probably 100% inaccurate.
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by: Procrastinating about writing an essay that's due once the weekend's over!
> 
> And as always, thank you for the support!!!!!!!!

While having a bigger family full of supportive people is super cool and great, Lup has trouble keeping up with all the new contacts in her phone.

From the dozens of texts, phone conversations, and emails she gets from them all every day, Lup has to jump through hoops to reply to every one of them. She knows they all care about Barry and her enough to not get upset if she waits to respond, but she’s only known them for a month and every detail she learns about them fills her with a sense of joy.

Taako calls her every day from Chicago, sometimes taking the extra step to Skype her if he can get away from his restaurant. The distance between them sucks but neither of them can easily separate themselves from where they currently live. _Sizzle It Up!_ can’t be without its owner and Lup’s job as a chemical engineer is paying her way too well to simply walk away from.

These issues only make the moments they can spare with one another even more special. Their conversations vary but they always seem to have a similar structure. Taako pretends to answer like he’s picked up on a to-go order, Lup asks to order a recipe so long and overly complicated she has to make a new one up every time, and Taako responds with, “Do you want fries with that?”

After teasing each other, Taako normally goes off to talk about something Angus did at school or how head-over-heels in love he is with Kravitz. Lup talks about work, Barry, and when the nearest time they can meet again will be.

Magus is sporadic when it comes to texting. Randomly, he will send Lup a gif of an adorable puppy or pictures of dogs he has seen while at work. Lup finds it weird how the big man doesn’t own a dog himself, especially since he loves them so much he cries upon seeing one. It also doesn’t make any sense since the craftsman shop he works at is right next door to the town’s animal shelter.

A couple times in the past month, Lup and Barry have planned dinner dates with Magnus, all of them hosted at either one of their houses or a great mexican place about fifteen minutes away from them all. On more than one occasion, Carey and Killian have tagged along with them. Once, even the famous Avi Samara decided the join them and Lup finally got to meet the man who stole her sense of humor.

Hekuba is less frequent with her text messages and instead prefers the old school method of emailing. The older woman always asks how the two of them are doing and if Lup will ever be interested in joining her book club.

Merle never answers his phone and every one of his kids and Hekuba has to apologize for him.

“The old man always leaves his god damn phone on silent,” Taako informed her once. “If he doesn’t pick up, it’s not because he hates you. He’s either dead or off doing his own thing.”

Whenever Merle does call, he tries to convince the couple to let him do some gardening for them or to come join one of his church services. He is the very definition of a dad and Lup loves him so much.

This small community that Lup finds herself surrounded by may be a bit dysfunctional and too domestic at times, but they are a family. Lup’s family. Slowly but surely, they have begun to help mend something inside of her that has been broken for quite some time.

 

~~~~~

 

On November 22, Merle sends Lup a text around mid afternoon asking if she and Barry would like to come over to celebrate Thanksgiving with them the next day. Them implying Merle, Hekuba, Mavis, and Mooky.

A side of Lup already has a tacky turkey hat on top of her head and a football in her hands, ready to party hard with the Highchurch crew and stuff herself silly with festive fixings. Normally for Thanksgiving, at least in the past three years, the two of them cook dinner together and spend the whole day inside watching the Thanksgiving Day parade or reruns of _Friends_ . The one outlier had been last year when they went down to Austin to spend the holiday with Barry’s family. God, the entire Bluejeans family crammed into such a small house had been a _nightmare_. It was those early months right after college all over again.

The other side of Lup on the other hand…

“Maybe we shouldn’t go.”

Barry pauses, mid way into sliding his jean jacket on over his shoulders. “What?”

“Uh, y’know, maybe we should just stay here and order takeout or something?” Lup continues, growing more uncertain as her train of thought continues to chug along. “It’s too late to go out and buy a turkey but, I don’t know, that pizza place down the road might be open today if you wanna give that a try?”

“Um, I mean, I love pizza just as much as the next guy,” Barry finishes sliding on his jacket, “but I have a feeling you’re more concerned about hanging out with Merle and his kids.”

“What? No no no no no! It’s not that!” Lup smiles nervously. “I’m just...really in the mood for pizza right now that’s all. I’m not avoiding anyone. Repeat, I’m _not_ avoiding anybody at all.”

Barry sighs. “Lup, it’s okay to admit you don’t want to interact with his kids. You don’t have to lie to me.”

Lup’s smile drops and gives up the ghost. “Sorry babe. Lying just...comes naturally to me when I’m nervous.”

“I know that. Remember how on our first date you tried to convince me that you were also lactose intolerant?”

“Yeah. For some reason I guess I thought having a dairy allergy would make me more attractive.”

Barry laughs. “Honey, just because your digestive system has an easier time processing dairy products than me doesn’t mean I love you any less. And just because you’re worried about being with Mavis and Mooky doesn’t mean you still can’t enjoy yourself there. If it becomes too much, we can leave and go order a pizza, but I know you really do want to go.”

Lup makes a face, her insecurities and desires battling each other over what she should do. Spending time with Merle and Hekuba would be fun, and not having to cook Thanksgiving dinner would be a bonus. But what if Mooky gave her that same tearful face like last time or Mavis really does take offense to her well-meant compliments-

 _“What I’m trying to get across to you, though, is that you need to be open about your shit. It’s gonna be rough, and It’s gonna scare the hell out of you...but I really think you can do it. You can do it and you_ will _find closure in it.”_

Taako’s words of wisdom surface back into her memory at just the right moment. Her brother is right, and if she ever wants to overcome her struggles, she needs to put herself out there.

“Okay,” she nods. “Let’s hit the road then.”

Barry beams. He closes the space between them and kisses her. Lup savors this small moment they share together; hopefully it will keep her grounded later if she feels herself drifting away.

He pulls away first, his smile still as bright as it was before. “You’re gonna have fun, Lup. Trust me.”

 

 

 

Merle’s house is located far from civilization in a quaint little forest area. The nearest gas station surrounding it is around ten minutes away and from what the scarcity of road signs implies, the house is outside of city limits.

The house itself is cute as hell. In the front yard, there are neatly trimmed rosebushes and ferns hanging from the porch railings. Peaking out of the backyard fence are tomato plants held up by stakes and sunflowers that despite being out of season are still thriving significantly. Ivy is growing up the brick chimney and a bed of moss has started to blanket the rooftop.

Okay, the resale value may have gone down due to the overgrown foliage that has no doubt caused some kind of property damage, but Lup is mesmerized by how adorable it all is. This is the house a grandpa would live in.

Speaking of grandpa, Merle is standing on the front porch as they pull into the driveway. More accurately, they pull up onto the bed of gravel that is acting as a driveway. As they climb out of Barry’s _Equinox_ , Merle walks over to them, arms already outstretched for a hug.

“C’mon, Barry. Bring it in!” Merle motions with his hands for Barry to come closer.

“Hi Merle.” Barry does accept Merle’s hug, but since the older man is twice as short as him, Merle’s face is awkwardly pushed into Barry’s belly. “It’s, uh...nice to see you again.”

Merle steps back, seemingly not at all phased by the clumsy introduction. He looks up at Barry and laughs. “Nice to see you, too, kid.” Then he spots Lup. “Lup! C’mere and give me a hug!”

“Oh, I think I’ll pass, Merle, but thanks,” Lup says, narrowly avoiding Barry’s fate. “How about a friendly side-hug instead?”

Merle agrees and they hug it out.

“Well you two can come on inside!” Merle informs them. “The turkey’s roasting in the oven. S and we should be ready to eat in about an hour or so. The kids are in the living room with Heka. Hey, do you two want anything to drink?”

“I’ll have a glass of water, if that’s okay,” Barry asks as they cross into the Highchurch threshold. The inside of Merle’s house has just as many plants as it does on the outside. Pots of aloe and peace lilies sit in tranquility on every tabletop and window seal. On the kitchen counter is a lineup of herbs, including basil, rosemary, and what looks like thyme. Whatever they are, the smell emanating off of them blends with the turkey cooking in the oven and makes Lup’s mouth water.

From the front entrance, the house jets off in two ways; the living room and kitchen to the left and the dining room to the right. A long hallway in between them must lead to the bedrooms and the bathroom. The walls are hideously decorated with seventies era wood paneling that shines from the lights illuminating from the popcorn ceiling. Beneath their feet is carpet that looks to be a thousand years old but thankfully seems to have been recently cleaned.

Merle passes by Hekuba as he goes to get Barry his glass of water. “It’s so good to see you two!” she greets them, hand outstretched to shake. It seems as if she understands the height difference issue more than Merle. They all shake and Hekuba gestures for them to follow her. “Why don’t you two come sit down? I want to hear all about what isn’t included in my emails.”

There is a step down into the living room which Lup gracefully avoids tripping over. Barry does not and if not for his lovely wife, he would have landed flat on his face.

“Oh sorry, mind the step. Forgot about that.”

Lup giggles, the mishap sparking a memory in her brain. “Oh my God, Barold, do you remember that one frat party we went to our sophomore year?”

“The one where Troth was dared to jump down a flight of stairs and she landed on the ping pong table?”

“Yeah, that’s the one! Good times good times. And say…” Lup leans in close and whispers in his ear, “wasn’t that also the party where we played seven minutes in heaven-?”

“Lup!” Barry nearly shrieks, his face ablaze. “N-Not in front of the kids!”

Lup goes still, her demeter changing course like a car swerving to avoid an animal on the road. Sitting on the couch directly in front of them is Mavis and Mooky, both of them staring directly at her. Lup can read the innocent curiosity in Mooky’s eyes and the eminent horror in Mavis’ and all Lup can think of is how she’s messed up and now Merle and Hekuba are going to have to give their kids “The Talk” because they’re going to ask what she meant and there will be no avoiding the issue and she’s forcing them to grow up too fast-

“BIG SIS! _PANTS MAN!_ ” Mooky yells. The young boy does a somersault jump off of the back of the couch and rushes over to the two of them. He throws his chubby little arms and legs around their ankles, trapping Lup and Barry where they stand.

Lup recoils at Mooky’s touch, jolting just ever so slightly for Barry to notice. Her husband takes her hand and with the other ruffles the hair on top of his brother-in-law’s hair. “Hey Mooky. Is that a new nickname for me?”

“Uh-huh!” Mooky grins, showing off the gap where his front two teeth are missing. “We’re watchin’ football! All d’ose guys ‘re tacklin’ each other and it’s AWESOME!”

“That does sound awesome.” Barry looks up at his sister-in-law. “How are you, Mavis?”

“Oh, I-I’m good.” Lup winces at the stutter in her voice. It’s because of her she’s uncomfortable and now she’s ruined the rest of Mavis’ holiday-

“We got to watch the parade this morning and that was pretty cool. My friend June got to go down there and see it in person. She sent me some pictures of the floats!”

Mavis smiles. It seems that talking about her friend has changed her mood in an instant. Lup allows herself to take a deep breath, but there is a tightness in her chest that refuses to ease up.

“Got your water, Barry!” Merle declares as he steps into the living room. He hands a glass about three-quarters of the way full to Barry, who takes the opportunity to hide his blush behind a rather large sip. “What are two standing around for? Go! Sit down! Go chill out and enjoy yourselves.”

Lup starts panicking. The old _Lazyboy_ sofa in front of them is the only source of seating in the room, which means she will be forced to sit near the kids. It’s too soon to confront them like this; Lup isn’t ready. What she is ready for is to leave. But they haven’t even been there for five minutes. Leaving right now would be straight up rude and Lup really loves Merle and Hekuba.

Not only that, but Taako would be disappointed in her for giving up. And she would be disappointed in herself as well. She wants to get better. She wants to feel safe around children.

Just like in her college lab projects, if she wants results, she is going to have to go through with the experiment.

Like a skittish cat, Lup slowly makes her way over to the couch. As she approaches, she catches how Mavis scoots over to her right ( _to avoid me_ ) and her ears catch the pitter-pattering of Mooky’s feet behind her ( _no please don’t get too close_ ). Her knees bend down and she’s kneeling down lower and lower-

And then she’s sitting down, sandwiched right between Mavis and Mooky.

Lup’s instincts tell her to simply block them out. And she does. She channels all of her attention to watching the football game playing out on the TV in front of her. The Phandalin Flames are leading by three but the Rockport Pioneers are quickly making their way closer to the goal line. One of the Pioneers pases the ball to their teammate, only to have it snatched out of midair at the last second by one of the Flames.

The player who intercepted the pass is pinned to the ground almost immediately but Lup has to admit it was a good play nonetheless. Ever since she married Barry, she hasn’t watched as much of the game as she used to back when she was younger. Hell, she played football back in middle school. For a few years, it was her entire life. It was a good distraction from missing Taako and pummeling her peers to the ground had always been fun. But as time went on and her relationship with Barry developed, her passion for football was put on the back burner. Mainly because it’s hard to enjoy watching the games when your husband is asking you every five seconds what a lineup is.

The Flames aren’t wasting any time now, the clock mere seconds away from the halftime. They may have the ball but it’s clear as day Rockport isn’t going to lose the half without a fight. The quarterback readies himself to throw, then suddenly starts taking off down the field, a group of Pioneers hot on their tail-

“Aunt Lup?”

Lup jumps. “W-What? Who?” She turns to her right and sees Mavis looking right back at her. “Oh, uh...w-what’s up, sweetie?”

Mavis’ brows furrow. “You’re, um...you’re leg’s bouncing up and down a lot.”

“Huh?” Lup looks down at her leg and sees it bobbing incessantly, the ball of her foot anxiously pushing her limb up and down in a steady rhythm. With a frown, Lup puts a hand on her knee to stop the bouncing and tries to channel her worries elsewhere. When she looks back up at the game, the play is over and the two teams are retreating to their locker rooms for their twenty minute break.

“Ah darn! I missed it! Did the Flames score or not?”

“Dat red guy got tackled by all d’ose green dudes and it was AMAZIN’!” Mooky exclaims. He hops off of the couch and reaches underneath it to retrieve a well-used football. “The runnin’ man was all like, “WAHHH!”” Mooky throws his arms up into the air. “‘N then the oth’r guys came up ‘n were like, “BLAARGGHH!”” He jumps into the air and lunges for the floor, the carpet below softening his landing. “It waz SO COOL!”

Lup laughs, but it comes out choppy and uncertain. “Sounds like you want to be a football star w-when you grow up.”

“Nah, I wanna be a wrestl’r! Or a box’r so I can punch people wit’out gettin’ in trouble!” Mooky declares. He stands up and flexes his meaty arms to reveal two tiny biceps. “Football’s cool too, tho.”

“Y’know, I used to play football.”

The fact is revealed without any planning on Lup’s part. It just...comes out. She waits fretfully, wondering what the response will be. Somehow the statement will turn against her.

To her surprise, Mooky gasps loudly and crawls into her lap. Lup leans back against the couch as far as she possibly can as her adoptive brother invades her personal space. “YOU USED TA PLAY FOOTBALL? LIKE ON A TEAM?”

“Y-Yeah?”

Mooky gasps again, louder this time. “THAT’S _AWESOME!_ WHERE YOU ANY GOOD? DID YOU BEAT DA OTHER TEAM UP? WAS IT FUN?!”

“Mooky! No shouting!” Hekuba hollers from the other room.

“SO’WRY!” Mooky yells back. His eyes are trained directly on Lup, anticipating an answer that will satisfy his young mind’s wind imagination.

“Well...I thought I was pretty good. A lot of kids asked me out because I woed them over with my athletic skill. I only fought the players on the other team if they were big meanies. But yeah, it was a lot of fun-”

“Can ya still play?!”

Lup blinks. “Can I…? Yeah, I can still play. I know the rules and I’m still pretty active-”

Mooky throws himself out of her lap and picks up his football from off of the floor. “Will ya play with me?! PLEASE?! Mama and papa say they’re too old ta play with me and Mavis doesn’t like it. Please please _PLEASE?!_ I really wanna play!”

Mooky says play but Lup’s brain translates it into, “Help me physically injure myself and have it all be your fault.” She’s already come up with a dozen worst case scenarios, all of which involve a broken body part or two. It’s a bad idea. It’s a really bad idea to play with him.

But Mooky is gazing upon her like she is the sun in the sky, shining down upon him and lighting up his day. Despite how terrified she may be, there is no way she can say no to him.

Lup makes a silent prayer to whatever God is listening out there for the kid’s safety and says, “Okay. let’s go play.”

 

 

 

Mooky stands poised to catch the football that Lup is mere seconds away from throwing to him from across the front yard. Between the two of them is a leaf-covered yard (which may be slippery and he could trip over) and a tall oak tree near the dirt road (whose roots may have grown out long enough to poke out from the ground and trip him. Or maybe it could fall over without warning and crush him).

It’s a minefield out there but as long as Lup holds the football close to her chest, Mooky won’t barrel right into danger because of her. He’s safe right where he is, forever waiting for the ball to come his way. This is fine. If nothing changes, then everything will be fine. Nothing will go wrong.

Then Lup looks over at Barry, whose sitting on the steps of the front porch next to Mavis, Merle and Hekuba behind them. He’s engaged in some sort of conversation with the young girl, both of them smiling at one another, _comfortable_ around each other. Barry says something that causes Mavis to burst into laughter, and Lup can see the way Barry’s eyes light up.

 _You have to get through this,_ she tells herself. _For Barry. For yourself. Just let the ball fly._

Lup rears back and tosses the football into the air. It sails gracefully into Mooky’s arms, who takes off running the second he’s got a good grip on it.

 _Oh God please don’t trip please don’t hurt yourself_ , Lup prays as Mooky runs straight through the yard. His feet stomp on the patches of yellow and orange leaves, leaving a deafening crunch in her ears. There’s a wild grin on face and Lup just hopes that if he does fall, he doesn’t knock out any more teeth. He’s so close to her now, just a few more feet, just a few more-

Without warning, Mooky hits the solid earth beneath him like a lead weight. The ball is thrown from his arms and lands a few feet in front of him.

Lup nearly screams. “Oh no...Mooky?! Mooky are you alright?!”

Mooky isn’t moving. Lup thinks she’s going to have a panic attack as she takes off towards her younger brother. _This is all my fault this is all my fault this is all my fault-_

Right when she’s an arms length away from him, Mooky catapults himself right into Lup’s chest and sends her hurtling backwards. The wind is knocked out of her lungs as she lands on her back _hard_. Spots of light dance around in her vision.

Mooky pushes himself off of her and cackles. “AHAH! SNEAK ATTACK! BAHAHAHA!”

“Mooky! That’s not fair!” Mavis proclaims from the front porch.

“That’s also...not how you play football…” Lup wheezes. Her ribs sting and the extra weight of six year old on top of her isn’t exactly easing any of the pain.

“Mags taught me how to do dat!” Mooky informs her. “Good throw, by da way! DO IT AG’IN!”

Lup takes a moment to reflect on what just happened. Mooky seems completely fine, despite his jacket is now covered in bits and pieces of dead leaves. By the looks of it, he’s having fun. And Lup…

She has to admit that it was a pretty funny trick.

Lup hoists up Mooky off of her and sits up. Her head is swimming and her limbs feel like lead but that’s what happens when you play sports. You get the crap knocked out of you. She looks to her younger brother and grins. “Alright, little buddy. Hand me the ball and get ready to GO LONG!”

Mooky tosses her the ball (which narrowly avoids hitting Lup square in the nose) and is back at the other end of the yard in a flash. They must go through this cycle a hundred times, Lup tossing him the ball and Mooky running over to tackle her, before Merle announces that the turkey is ready and they all sit down to eat. The food is delicious, the conversations passed around the table are friendly, and when the two of them get back in Barry’s _Equinox_ to drive back home, Lup passes out almost instantly.

When she wakes up the next morning, carefully tucked into their queen-sized bed, there are bruises covering her arms and there’s a dreadful crick in her neck.

But Lup’s injuries don’t even come close to outweighing the fun she shared with Mooky. Taako was right. Her road to recovery is going to be rough, but Lup knows she's gained something through the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Thanks-for-giving me some fluff in the chapter" Grace. Why you're welcome, kind reader.


	8. The Truth Is...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup says some important things. Barry reflects. Mavis braids some hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so eXCITED THAT WE'RE AT THIS CHAPTER NOW. When I first started writing it, I was worried I wasn't gonna stick the landing but I like how it turned out and I hope you all do to
> 
> As always thanks for the support! I spend my entire day thinking about what I'm going to write next and I've had so much fun with this story :)

Okay, so Lup was starting to feel more confident around children after playing “football” with Mooky for an hour. That time they spent together was a good experience for her and she genuinely enjoyed herself.

But she needs _at least_ another week before she is comfortable with Merle asking if the two of them can babysit Mavis for a couple of hours a few days later.

Lup is having a hard time grasping why Mavis just couldn’t have gone to the movies with Merle and Mooky. It was just her luck that Hekuba didn’t have custody this week and no one else Merle knows is available. Not even Magnus, who had traveled out of state for Thanksgiving at Carey’s family's house.

(She had received a lot of pictures from Carey of Magnus arm-wrestling her brother Scales, which ended up in a major upset.)

So now here Lup is, pacing around in her living room waiting for the doorbell to ring. She’s still mentally (and physically) exhausted from a few days ago. After this, her body may just give out. This healing process is going faster than she would like but it’s not like she can just cancel on the Highchurch's now.

She tries to distract herself with simple breathing exercises. _In...out...in...out…_

“Lup? You okay?” Barry asks her.

“Not really? No.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I just…” She searches through her words through labored breaths. “I’m not sure I’m feeling up to this...I-I’m tired and it’s nearly eight o’clock and my arms still hurt from the other day...but w-we can’t just send them away now-”

Lup has to stop taking to make sure she gets enough air in her lungs.

Barry stands up abruptly from the couch and walks over to her. “Hey hey, Lup. Calm down, it’s alright.”

“No, it’s not alright. It’s not _fucking alright_ . I have to get better. I have to keep trying to get better! I c-can’t run away from this anymore. I have to keep _trying_ …”

Barry puts a gentle hand on her arm and Lup melts under his touch. Soon he has his arms wrapped around her and she’s pressing her face into his shoulder, shuddering on every breath. “Breathe Lup. I know how hard you’re trying. But for right now, just breathe.”

“They’re gonna be here soon-”

“I know, but they’re not here right now….Lup, pushing yourself too hard is only gonna make things worse. Have you told Merle about this?”

Lup groans. “I told Taako not to tell anybody else. I figured I would get over this before anyone else found out.”

“Don’t rush through this, okay? It sucks to see you shaken up all the time,” Barry mumbles.

God, that’s the last thing she wants. To go through this whole ordeal and get Barry messed up along the way. “Don’t worry ‘bout me, babe. I’m sorry...I don’t want to make you worry.”

“Do you wanna go lay down maybe? I’ll tell them you were feeling sick so you can get away for the night. Go to bed early maybe?” he offers.

Lup pushes herself out of his arms, shaking her head from side to side. “No. No I need to stay up. It’s only for a few hours. I...I can handle it.”

Then the doorbell goes off and Lup’s stomach drops. They’re here early _of course_ , because why wouldn’t they be. The universe is just dead set on making her life miserable. Lup can feel a knot rising in her throat and she curses at herself because she feels like such a big fudging _baby_. Why is she turning this stupid mole hill into a mountain? She shouldn’t feel so stressed out all the time, should she? It’s been almost two months since she confessed to Taako. Had any progress actually been made since then? Was she just wasting her time Thanksgiving Day?

She must look just as frantic as she feels because Barry puts a firm hand on her shoulder and looks her sternly in the eye. “I’m making the executive decision that you need to go to bed.”

“What? No. Barold, I’ll be _fine_ ,” Lup insists. There is a tugging in her gut, telling her to keep saying whatever she needs to if it will convince Barry that she can last the night. If he says _go_ , she’ll just keep on saying _no_. Nothing will keep her from her road to recovery.

“Lup, you’re _shaking_.”

“It’ll stop in a minute.”

“It’ll-? Lup, do you even hear yourself?! Don’t take on more than you're capable of-”

“For fuck’s sake, Barold, stop treating me like I’m a child!” she snaps. “The main reason I’m even trying this hard is because of you, damn it, so stop being such an ass!”

Her words strike fast and coated in venom, determined to hit a weak point that will end this whole conversation.

If that’s what Lup really wanted, then she achieved her goal.

Barry raises his hand off of her shoulder tentatively, recoiling from her words. He stares at her, horrified, as if she had just reached into his chest and ripped out his heart. Then his face drops and the disappointment in his eyes hurts Lup more than anything.

The argument is over and both of them have lost.

She needs to apologize. She needs to find some way to take back her words and make everything fine again.

But the fact of the matter is she wasn’t fine, she _still_ isn’t fine, and Barry was only trying to help her. So as the moment passes and the seconds tick on by, Lup decides the only thing she can do now is to listen to him. “I’ll go. Goodnight, Barry.”

Lup turns to leave just as Barry mutters back, “‘night.” There’s no bite to it, which makes it worse. She wishes in the time it takes her to reach their bedroom that he’ll yell at her, take the low road just as she did so at least they’re on the same page.

Barry stays silent.

 _Figures_ , Lup gripes internally. She grows irritated, blaming herself, blaming Barry for being a stand up guy, blaming Merle for not taking Mavis with him to the dang movies. Every mild inconvenience she comes across is begging her to take offense to it. The squeaky floorboards underneath her feet, the dead bulb in bedroom’s ceiling fan, the door bell going off for a second time-

Lup doesn’t mean to, but she slams the door shut behind her.

She throws herself on top of their bed, not bothering to change into her pajamas beforehand. The past few minutes have worn her out more than she had been feeling before and now she is nothing more than an empty shell. Future Lup has so much damage to repair when she steps out of the room, but present Lup is nothing. Is nothing, feels nothing, can’t do anything but rest.

Through the crack in their bedroom door, Lup hears Merle wander into their house and thank Barry for helping him out on such short notice. There banter is constantly interrupted by Mooky running around and screeching inscentantly and Lup’s chest stings at the memory of how hard he tackled her the ground just days ago. Before Merle and Mooky leave and the house falls silent again, Lup slowly drifts out of consciousness.

 

 

 

When Lup comes to, she’s right where she was when she fell asleep; sprawled out on top of the covers on their bed. The only difference is instead of being curled up into a tight little ball, her limbs are sprawled out all around her.

She sits up, the bed mattress creaking softly underneath her. With a yawn, Lup reaches a hand up to rub at her eyes and a sheet mark left on her cheek. Through the blinds, she can see that the sun has turned in for the last few hours of the day to be replaced by the moon and its trillions of followers. The only constellation she can make out where she’s sitting is Ursa Major.

There’s static in her brain, the kind of static that comes after waking up from a heavy slumber. Lup feels sorrowful and knows she did something wrong, but can’t for the life of her remember exactly what she did. Oh well. Her memory will return to her in time.

With the grace of a rotting zombie, Lup stumbles out of the bedroom and down the hall to the living room. From the darkness comes a gigantic flash of light that causes her to squint. Muffled noises are ringing around in her ears, waiting for her sense to come back online so they may be deciphered.

Lup blinks once, twice, and suddenly becomes aware of her surroundings. The TV is on, just like it was before she went to bed. However, instead of it displaying reruns of _Friends_ , it’s been turned to the cooking network. On screen, four contestants are battling out to make it through a tight round of cooking while also undergoing devious challenges set up by the host.

 _Oh shit I love this show_ , Lup realizes, inching closer to the couch like a moth to a flame. She reaches a hand out to steady herself-

-only for her hand to land on someone else’s shoulder.

Lup gasps, drawing her hand back into a more intimidating stance. Did someone break into their house just to watch _Cutthroat Kitchen_ on their mediocre-sized television set?

Then her eyes finish adjusting and she sees that it’s only Barry, sacked out on the couch with a hastily-placed throw blanket over his lap. His glasses are halfway off of his face and he is snoring quietly enough to not disturb the viewing experience of the other person on the couch.

Which happens to be Mavis.

That’s when the static in Lup’s brain clears. She remembers everything in an instant. Babysitting, freaking out, yelling at Barry-

Oh right. Shit. She has to deal with _that_ issue later.

The current issue she is facing is the twelve year old girl who looks like she has seen a ghost. Lup takes advantage of her lingering fatigue and keeps herself mellow as hell. This is fine. She knew Mavis would be here. Merle should be back soon to pick her up.

Oh yeah, when would Merle be back to get his daughter? Lup doesn’t recall ever getting a proper time stamp on that little detail.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya,” Lup whispers before putting on a smile she hopes looks real enough to pass inspection.

Mavis slowly slides back into the couch, her gaze softening. She nods back and looks down at the floor.

“Did Barry fall asleep on you?”

She nods again. “I put a blanket over him so he wouldn’t get cold.”

“Super cool... _weeeelllll_ ….” Now what was she supposed to do? Could she just leave Mavis alone by herself? Surely she is old enough to take care of herself and she looks like she’s doing alright right now. Then again, Lup has no idea when Merle will come back. That would be a pretty dick move for him to show up and for both of his babysitters to be out like a light.

With each passing second she starts to wake up more and her calm facade is chipping away. She hasn’t had the chance to prep herself for this and now Barry’s out of commission. That leaves her with zero escape routes unless she wants Mavis to see just how scared she is.

But Mavis has her legs pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around her knees. There’s a frown on her face that dips down all the way to her chin and her lower lip is trembling.

It suddenly occurs to Lup that Mavis may be just as uncomfortable in this situation as she is. Sort of like what Lup was always told about bees. Mavis is more scared of her and Lup is of Mavis. Or maybe it’s the other way around? Lup can’t remember which is which.

Either way, Lup finds that having an even playing field helps to keep her insecurities at bay.

“What’s bothering you, sweetie?”

Mavis’ eyes jump to hers and then back down again. “It’s...it’s nothing.”

“Surely it can’t be nothing. Is it about your dad?”

Mavis shakes her head.

“School?”

Again, no.

“Are you okay with telling me about it?”

Mavis contemplates for a moment, then locks eyes with her. “I’m homesick.”

Lup blinks. “Homesick? Oh...you ready to go home?”

Mavis nods one last time. Both of them are stuck right where they are.

And it’s...relieving. This time Lup knows it’s not her fault. “Aww, don’t worry hon. Your dad will be back soon. Do you want me to get you anything? I have some shark gummies in the pantry.”

“No, I’m okay. Thank you though.” Mavis’ voice is so small, so quiet. She sounds as if she’s going to cry. Lup doesn’t want that. She wouldn’t know what to do if Mavis started crying. _How do I comfort a child? How do I comfort a child? How do I comfort a child?_

Mavis grabs a lock of her braided hair and starts to fiddle with it, twisting it around in her fingers. It’s a nicely done braid. Traditionally styled but the kid did say she just started doing her own hair-

Hot diggity shit, Lup has an idea.

“Hey, I still really like your braids.”

Mavis looks back up at her. “Oh, t-thank you.”

Lup scoops up her loose, tangled hair and tosses it over her shoulder. “I don’t suppose you’d want to have a whack at trying to braid this mess of hair now would you?”

Mavis’ eyes shine brighter than the LED lights behind the TV screen. “Y-You mean it?”

“Course I do,” Lup smiles. She walks over to the set of switches on the wall and flips the one in the middle, turning on the lights for the living room.

“W-Won’t that wake him up?” Mavis asks fretfully, her question directed towards Barry.

“Who, this nerd?” Lup sticks a thumb at her slumbering husband. “Don’t worry about him. Tell ya a secret?” She motions for Mavis to lean in closer and she puts a hand to the side of her mouth. “Barry’s scared of the dark.”

Mavis gaps. “Really? But he’s an adult.”

“You can be a hundred years old and still be afraid of the dark,” Lup informs her. “Trust me, he won’t even stir. But if you’re worried about him waking up…”

Lup spies an abandoned blanket on the floor and tosses it over Barry’s face. “There.”

Mavis giggles, covering her mouth as she does. Lup’s heart does this weird thing where it starts doing circus soleil tricks as it picks up speed. There’s a burst of warmth in her chest that flows through her veins all the way down to her toes.

Confused, she wanders over and sits on the floor right in front of Mavis. There is no more room for her on the couch but the throw pillow she puts underneath her butt is comfortable enough.

Mavis pulls Lup’s hair behind her back and begins to split it off into three individual sections. “Sorry, I don’t know how to a fishnet or anything yet.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Lup assures her. “I can teach you sometime if you want.”

“That...that would be really cool.” The smile on Mavis’ face comes out fully through her words. “Thank you, Mrs. Lup.”

“Oh geez, you’re just as bad as Angus. You can just call me Lup, sweet pea.”

“Oh, okay. Well thank you Lup.”

Mavis starts to weave Lup’s hair together into a braid, her fingers working diligently to get the job done to the best of her ability. Mavis isn’t like her younger brother at all. That brash, chaotic behavior is nowhere inside of her. She’s much more reserved, her energy invested more into keeping a straight face and acting as the best role model she can possibly be. Now that she’s been allowed to put down her defenses, she seems so much more like the kid she is. When Lup asks her about her school, she goes off about her daily schedule and how much she loves her orchestra class. She talks about her shared love for the Caleb Cleveland novels with Angus and how she hopes she can convince Mook to read them when he’s older.

Most importantly, she mentions how she was the one who decided not to go to the movies with her family. While the two boys were dying to see a big-budget action movie about zombie spiders, Mavis had decided against going herself due to her fear of the insects.

Lup respects that decision, even if it makes her feel guilty about dissing Merle for the unexpected babysitting job.

Throughout their entire conversation, there is never a moment where Lup wants to run away. To tear her semi-braided hair out of Mavis’ hands and lock herself in the bathroom down the hall. Mavis and her feed off each other’s hesitation upon being where they are, but not in a self-preservation kind of way.

More of an, “I got your back,” kind of way.

It’s nice to be with someone who understands how it feels.

 

 

 

After Mavis is done braiding Lup’s hair, the two of them watch the rest of the _Cutthroat Kitchen_ episode before turning on some late-night cartoons. Fifteen minutes into a show about two twins solving mysteries in the woods, the doorbell rings and lo and behold it’s Merle and Mooky.

“You should’ve been der sis!” Mooky informs his older sister. “Da spiders were DIS BIG!” He stretches his arms out as far as he possibly can (which is about the span of four feet) to accurately show her just how big the zombie spiders were.

“That sounds pretty cool, Mooky,” Mavis replies. “I’ll go with you to the next movie we all see, okay?”

“Yeah, we should all go see that one with the giant lizard coming out soon!” Merle exclaims. “That one really looks like fun.”

“God, are they still making those things?” Lup asks. “That franchise should stop making new movies while it’s ahead.”

“Hey!” Merle snaps. “Y’know, if you hadn’t done this super huge favor for me tonight, I would throw down over that statement.”

“Next time we meet, bring it on, old man,” Lup challenges with a grin. The two of them laugh.

“I know Mavis wasn’t any trouble but I’m sorry for springing this on you kinda last minute there.”

“No! No it was…I think we had fun together.” Lup glances at Mavis from behind Merle, who smiles at her fondly. “It wasn’t a problem. Just maybe we can get a little bit more of a heads up next time?”

“That’s understandable,” Mere agrees. “Glad to see you’re feeling better, by the way. Alright kids, let’s get home so you two aren’t zombie spiders yourselves in the morning!”

Mavis groans. “ _Dad_ , I really didn’t need that mental image in my head.”

Lup watches from the front porch as the three of them climb into Merle’s van and drive off. Once they are out of sight, Lup locks the front door, goes into the living room, and plops down on the couch right next to Barry.

She makes it about three episodes into the cartoon she and Mavis were watching before Barry starts to stir. The throw blanket on top of him moves with his head as he tosses. Suddenly, his hands reach up and toss it off of his face. He sits up, frantically looking around the room with a crazed look in eyes. “Mavis?!”

“Calm down, babe. Merle picked her up a little over an hour ago. She should be in bed by now.” Lup keeps her voice level, hoping to keep the atmosphere between them neutral until Barry fully wakes up.

Barry takes off his glasses and rubs at his eyes. “Fuck, when did I fall asleep?”

“Don’t know, my man. Mavis put a blanket on you, the sweet thing.”

“You mean the one that was on my head?”

“No, that one’s on me,” Lup admits. “Had to turn the lights on for a braiding session and the kid didn’t want you to wake up.”

“Heh,” Barry chuckles. “That is sweet.”

Lup hums in response.  A silence passes between them. If neither one of them say anything, everything will be fine. In this single moment, there is a truce between them. It could last forever if time would just stop.

But it won’t, so Lup decides to finally take the high road. If they have talk about what was said, at least she can get things started on the right foot. “I’m sorry for what I said. I was...freaked out and tired and...y-you didn’t deserve any of that. I didn’t really mean anything I said.”

Barry sighs heavily, letting his head dip down to his chest. “But you _did_ mean it. That's the problem."

"...didn't mean to call you an ass, though."

"Yeah...that was a bit uncalled for. But that's not what I'm upset about. Lup. I...I’m one of the reason you’re doing this. Trying to overcome your fear of becoming a parental figure and separation and whatnot...have I been pushing you too much?”

Lup’s eyebrows knit together. “What the hell do you mean?”

“Lup, you were about to _hyperventilate_ earlier. You’ve made so much progress and I’m _really_ proud of you...but I don’t want it to seem like you have to keep straining yourself like this….I don’t want to pressure you into getting better just because I like the idea of us having kids one day…”

This...is not at all how Lup expected this conversation to go. Barry should have beef with _her_ , not with himself. Somehow his reaction is heartbreaking _and_ heartwarming all at once. Only Barry Bluejeans could mix those two polar opposite emotions together. He is a chemist after all; mixing up random shit is his specialty.

Lup does not say a single word. Instead, she scoots close enough to her husband so that they’re hips are pressed against each other. Then she takes his hand in hers and presses a long kiss to his knuckles.

“What are you doing, Loopy?” Barry asks, defeated.

“What does it look like? I’m trying to make you feel better,” she answers soothingly.

“Why?”

Lup stares at him blankly. “Because you’re my loving husband, who I have sworn to love until death does us part. But you’re also my college buddy, lab partner, and my very good friend.”

She can see the faint blush that spreads across Barry’s face. “But not your best friend?”

“Sorry babe. Taako was given that prized title at birth. No one’s gonna knock him from his throne.” Barry smiles weakly. “Barry...I think what we’ve both realized tonight is that...well, this recovery process isn’t just a solo thing. You’re along for the ride, too, as well as everybody else in our Brady Bunch. If I rush into things, the rest of you are hot on my tail. I have to get better on taking things slow. It’s just...I can’t wait to feel confident in myself, to feel _better_ about myself. I...I want to start a family with you, Barry. And one day I think I’ll finally reach the point where I’m ready to.  I’m so so _so_ sorry for stressing you out so much.”

As soon as the words come out, a great weight is lifted off of Lup’s shoulders. A month ago, she never would have been able to say what she just did. Now, after hearing it said out loud, it just feels right.

It also makes her feel super fucking emotional. So much so that when Barry looks up at her with pure joy in his eyes, she is already crying. “You really mean that?”

Lup smiles, wiping tears from her eyes with the palm of her hand. “I may never mean anything else the same way for as long as I live.”

Barry is radiant, the smile on his face so wide his eyes crinkle at the corners. But he’s not too overjoyed to miss the comedic beat set up after her statement. “Sap.”

Lup laughs and it’s a gurgly mess. Tears are flowing down her face faster than she can wipe away and she can’t decide if she should keep laughing or sob instead. That decision is made for her when Barry cups her face in her hands and kisses her, long and passionately.

If only that moment could last forever. This moment is the one that’s should actually last for eternity. Lup wants to bottle up every chemical in her brain that is telling her what to feel and put it in a jar so she can preserve it for years to come. She wants to kiss Barry’s brain out and hold him until the world burns around them. She wants to get up and dance around their living room until the sun comes up. She wants to spend the rest of her life with this wonderful man and have kids of their own.

Nothing will take her dreams away. She won’t _let_ anything take her dreams away from her.

The road has been rough, but as long as Lup has Barry and everyone else behind her, she knows she is going to make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The nickname Loopy was directly taken from one of my favorite TAZ fics ever: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11385294 . It's about Barry and Taako's bromance and I cry nearly every time I read it. Go check it out it's so good!
> 
> Now we've reached the part in the story where Lup goes from, "I'm not comfortable with kids and I'm not ready to be," to," Still not 100% okay but I'm ready to be." It's not THE turning point in the story but it's one of them and like I said I'm so excited to get to what comes next!!!


	9. Kroger Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fun, self-indulgent "calm before the storm" chapter.
> 
> Lup does some grilling. Kravitz is a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to my mom!
> 
> This week, I leaned exactly why a lot of my friends didn't take any AP classes with me. Sorry that this chapter is a bit shorter than the others but hopefully the fluff makes up for it.
> 
> As always, thank you all for the support!

_ Kroger _ . A blessed establishment of grocery stores spanning across the eastern half of the United States that carries all of your weekly necessities. The produce section is filled with a wide variety of every fruit and vegetable imaginable in monstrous sizes. The deli counter is manned by the sweetest people ever created. The bakery comforts customers with the scent of freshly baked cookies and other sweet treats. There is always a fair amount of checkout lanes open to make shopping as painless as possible.

It’s a little slice of heaven compared to the otherwise sucky department stores in the country.

Picture Lup, waltzing into her favorite store on a Sunday morning, clad in sweatpants, an oversized jacket, and a t-shirt that reads  _ Shrimp! Heaven! NOW!  _ Besides the mothers sorting through their coupon booklets and the college students working the cash registers, the place is otherwise vacant and the only noise to be heard is the Carly Rae Jepsen tune playing from the store speakers above.

It’s nirvana.

Lup grabs a cart and hits the produce aisle first, grabbing all the boring healthy stuff before making a beeline for the cookie cracker aisle. There’s a single coupon in her jacket pocket for fifty cents off a 21 oz box of  _ Cheez Its _ and Lup knows there is a box waiting for her with her name on it. She can already taste that fake cheesy goodness on her tongue as she moves past the butchery and the organics aisle.

The sign for the cookie cracker aisle hangs stoically from the ceiling, practically glistening under the florescent lights. Lup eyes it intensely, pushing her cart faster and faster to the point where she’s racing across the store. All she can think about are those dang  _ Cheez Its _ and it’s driving her mad.

She runs through the pre-packaged lunch meat aisle, just a short distance away from her prize, when she notices a familiar looking man staring at a package of sliced cheese in his hands.

Lup digs her heels into the tile floor below her as if slamming on the brakes of a locomotive. She looks at the man, double checking to make sure he is who she thinks he is, before moving her cart towards him. The  _ Cheez Its _ are still calling out to her but they’re her second priority now.

The man sets the package of cheese down and picks up a different one, looking over the nutrition label. Before he can put that one away too, Lup runs up to him with her cart and stops it just inches away from hitting his legs. He jolts, covering his torso with his arms and the cheese defensively.

Lup just grins. “Hey there Kravitz.”

Kravitz lowers his arms slowly before realizing who has approached him and drops them to his sides. “Oh, Lup. You scared me.”

“Having’ a hard time picking out what kind to buy?”

He frowns, looking back at the cheese. “Hmmm, more accurately I’m trying to find the cheapest one available.”

“I like your honesty.” Lup shoots him a finger gun. “Go with the american. That shit’s the best if you’re on a tight budget.”

Kravitz trades out the cheese in his hand for a hefty sized package of american cheese. “Thanks for the recommendation. How have you, uh, been since last we met?”

Lup shrugs, deciding it’s probably best not to bring up her fear of children to her brother’s boyfriend (who she has only known for a couple of hours). “Chugging along, my man. You?”

Kravitz opens his mouth to speak but hesitates. His eyes shift away from Lup and down to the cheeses. “Uh, well...I’m doing...fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yes, fine.”

Lup has never liked one worded answers. They’re too immediate, too safe. “Fine  _ how? _ Fine with your cheap cheese, fine with Taako, just fine in general?”

“F-Fine in the sense that...w-well Taako and me are fine but…”

There’s an edge to his voice that sets off sirens in Lup’s mind. “ _ Kravitz _ …?”

He tenses up, sensing her apprehension and tries to dig himself out of the hole he has made for himself. “I-I wasn’t implying things with Taako aren’t fine! In fact we’re doing really well! I’m just...a little stressed-”

“Stressed?”

“Y-Yes, about-”

“About what-?”

“Saving money-”

“Saving money for?”

“D-Does it really matter?”

Lup narrows her eyes. The look in Kravitz’ eyes tell her he knows he said the wrong answer. That’s fine with her; she’s dealt with enough shifty coworkers and deadbeat kids in high school to know how to get the information she wants. If something is bothering her brother’s boyfriend, she definitely wants to get to the bottom of it.

“I guess it doesn’t. Y’know if ya need any help, me and Barry are here. But it sounds like something I should tell Taako about-”

Kravitz gazes upon her in horror. “No!”

Lup has to try really hard not to smirk. “No you say?”

“Please... _ please _ don’t tell Taako about this. I’m begging you.”

Lup holds up her hand and inspects her nails. Her coat of polish is chipping off; time for another marital mani-pedi session with Barry. “Why shouldn’t I? Sounds awfully  _ weird _ you wouldn’t want me telling my dear twin some important info on his B.F.”

Kravitz stares at her long and hard, deep in contemplation. Then after what seems like a small eternity, he gives up, dropping his gaze with a heavy sigh. “I’m...saving up to buy an engagement ring.”

Oh. Well that wasn’t what Lup was expecting at all. Out of shock, she asks, “For who?”

Kravitz blinks. “F-For Taako.”

“So- _ oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh _ .”

Kravitz fearfully watches Lup play catch up, his shoulders rising up as if he’s trying to shrink in on himself. “Is, that, um, okay with you? I was p-planning on asking for your blessing, but I wasn’t sure w-when would be the best time. I- _ Is _ it okay?”

Lup can’t come up with a coherent answer because one) she’s kicking herself for asking Taako’s _ boyfriend _ whether or not he was actually going to propose to her brother and two) shocked that it took all that grilling to get him to confess. Kravitz is such a blubbering, dorky mess he’s practically a cardboard cutout of Barry back in college. She takes a minute to fully take in the situation, then slaps herself on the forehead with the palm of her hand.

“Of course,  _ of course  _ you meant Taako. I’m so dumb. Yeah man, go for it. I just...argh for  _ who _ ?! What’s wrong with me?!”

Kravitz beams, stifling a laugh as Lup continues to belittle herself. “Thank you so much, Lup. I-God-I’ve been so nervous to ask. I really didn’t want to come off the wrong way and we don’t know each other that well so-”

“No no, I get it,” Lup waves him off. “You were like me when I asked Barry’s parents for their blessing. Sorry for giving ya such a hard time.”

“It’s alright. I was acting rather cryptic.” Kravitz leans down and picks up a carrying basket, tucking his package of cheese inside.

“So when you tell Taako about this, are you gonna tell him that you asked for my blessing at  _ Kroger _ ?”

Kravitz chuckles, still somewhat nervously. “Well, out of all the places I could have asked,  _ Kroger’s _ definitely not the worst.”

They both laugh, their voices echoing throughout the store and mixing with Carly Rae Jepson’s angelic singing above.

Lup’s insides are fizzling like the carbonation that rises out of a soda bottle. This is huge. Her brother, the one who has endlessly doted over Kravitz through the safety of mobile devices, has an engagement scheduled for him. Lup feels like a kid during Candlenights, peaking at the presents underneath the Candlenights bush and using various clues to figure out what she’s been gifted with. Now she knows what she’s getting and she has to wait an indefinite amount of time before Kravitz pops the question and finally unwraps that gift.

She can already see the look on Taako’s face. He’ll say yes of course. There’s no doubt in her mind.

Taako “ _ I wish Kravitz didn’t live twenty hours away so I could smooch his face all the time _ ” Taaco? Nope, no way in hell he’d turn his boyfriend down.

God, Lup is so excited she could scream. She  _ would _ scream if this was a place such as  _ Walmart _ or  _ Sam's Club _ , but  _ Kroger _ is a chain she would rather not get kicked out of, unlike the other two.

She has to extend this jubilant moment, even if it's only for a few more seconds. So on a whim, she declares, “You gotta shop with me, future brother-in-law. You and me, cookie cracker aisle,  _ now _ .”

“What?” Kravitz asks in the split-second he is given before Lup grabs his hand and drags him away from the cheese section.

When they _ finally _ reach the cookie cracker aisle, Lup ends up tossing five boxes of  _ Cheez Its _ into her cart despite only having the one coupon. Oh well, it’s a special occasion. Barry and her will just have to have a  _ Cheez Its _ party to celebrate. Unless-

“You cool with me telling’ Barry about all this?”

Kravitz makes a face, the kind of face a student might have while taking a multiple choice test and finds themself stuck between two answer choices. “I mean...yeah? Yes. But…”

“You worried news will spread?”

“ _ Exactly _ ,” he sighs. Then his face falls. “N-Not that I don’t trust you two or anything!”

“Don’t worry, Krav-sticks. Your secret’s safe with me.” Lup starts pushing her cart out of the aisle. “Besides, Barry’s really cute when he’s surprised by something. You think I’m gonna chance missing out on his adorable little expressions?”

They move on to the soup aisle next. Lup grabs a bottle of ranch dressing while Kravitz stocks up on cans of chicken noodle soup. Then they hit up the cereal aisle, where Lup tosses a box of  _ Lucky Charms _ into her cart like she’s Michael Jordan. To her dismay, Kravitz goes for the selection of  _ Grape Nuts _ boxes.

“Dude,  _ no! _ Those are disgusting!”

Kravitz shrugs. “They’re healthy. I like them.”

Lup doesn’t believe a word she’s hearing. “I’m taking back my blessing unless you put those nasty things  _ away! _ ”

She forces Kravitz to take a box of  _ Cheerios _ instead.

Next, both of them grab some milk and a carton of eggs. As they move on to the frozen section, something occurs to Lup. “When are you planning on asking my brother to marry you?”

Taako isn’t even in the building but Kravitz’ face lights up like a Candlenights bush just at the mere mention of him. “Well...hopefully this new year. If I’m lucky that is.”

Lup’s eyebrows shoot up. “What soon, huh?”

“About a month away, yeah.” Kravitz stops walking to grab a bag of frozen ravioli out of the freezer. “Originally I was planning on proposing to him on Candlenights.”

“What changed that?”

“My folks invited me to their place for the holidays. I couldn’t really say no. They’re getting older and I need to spend more time with them. It does give me more time to find a ring I actually like.”

Lup snorts. “Been there, my man. There are so many option but none of them are the right one.”

“I  _ know _ , right? It’s a bloody nightmare.”

As they make their way back up to the front, Lup stops one last time to buy a new stick of deodorant and a lottery ticket. Old habits buy hard after all.

“What are you and Barry planning to do for Candlenights?” Kravitz asks as they pull into a checkout line. He greets the cashier and starts unloading his basket.

“We’re gonna visit Taako for a week. Spend some time with him and...and Angus. Now I gotta extend my vacation time so I can be there when you propose my man,” she gripes.

Kravitz feigns a look of liability, putting a hand over his heart. “My apologies. If you can’t stay past the first, I’ll record the exchange for you.”

“That would be  _ stellar _ my man. Permission to post it all over  _ Instagram _ and whatnot?”

“Go right ahead.”

The cashier finishes scanning all of Kravitz’ items and rings out his total. As Kravitz reaches into his pocket to pull out his wallet, Lup slaps his hand away. “Ah-ah! Don’t you dare.”

“W-What? What’s happening?”

Lup pulls out her wallet and slides the cashier her debit card. “Hey bartender, this guy’s on me.”

“Oh no, you don’t have to-” Kravitz starts to  oppose.

“Nope! Look, they already swiped it. It’s done.” Lup takes her card back from the cashier, who seems to be trying really hard not to laugh at them. “Don’t try to pay me back either. Consider this an extension of my blessing; a step closer to getting that engagement ring.”

Kravitz smiles, mustering all of his gratitude into a single sentence. “Thank you Lup.”

Once Lup pays for her own items, they pass through the automatic doors allowing them access to the outside world. Kravitz wishes her safe holiday travels before wandering off to find his own car.

It’s a crisp autumn day, with leaves floating around the cars in the parking lot and the sky dotted with tiny clouds. However, in less than a week, pumpkin spice will die along with any foliage that is still clinging to life and winter will arrive. The weather lady on the news said that Lynchburg should be expecting its first snowfall next weekend.

Lup still can’t shake the feeling of excitement electrifying her body. It makes her wonder if this is how she feels right now, Taako might just explode when Kravitz gets down on one knee. Man, it’s going to be hard to wait until New Years.

Candlenights is approaching and just like the seasons, many things in Lup’s life are about to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok listen
> 
> I have never worked at Kroger. I have no idea if it is as magical of a place as I imagine it to be. But I really love that store so Lup does to, okay?


	10. Meet Me in Chicago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup makes a promise. Barry continues to be a sap. Taako is called into action. Angus hides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer for this chapter: I've never been to Chicago, except when I was a baby. I'm going off of what Google has told me about it and what little I remember from Shake It Up
> 
> This goes without saying now but THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT! I'm still trying to get out chapters as soon as I can while also juggling school stuff. Keep baring with me, I really appreciate it.
> 
> Also I may be moving in a couple of weeks so updates are going to slow down for a little bit. Which is gonna stink because after the next chapter stuff is gonna get wILD

“Luggage?”

“Check.”

“Ph-Phone chargers?”

“Check.”

“S-S-Snacks?”

“Check.”

Lup has always loved going on road trips with her husband. Spending hours together on the open road without any interaction with the outside world is the closest they ever seem to get to a couple’s getaway. With conflicting work schedules, they just never seem to find the time for travel across long distances. Thankfully, the Candlenights season always pulls through for them.

What Lup doesn’t love is standing outside in ten degree weather during a snowfall while trying to make a last-minute check of everything they’ve packed.

Barry has a checklist in his gloved hands, his teeth chattering uncontrollably as he tries to speak. His frostbitten cheeks are rosy, the tip of his nose is redder than a stop sign. “I-I t-t-think that’s ev-verything.”

“Fucking _finally_ babe _,”_ Lup sighs. “Now let’s _go!_ ”

The two of them practically materialize into Barry’s _Equinox_ without even opening the front doors. Lup cranks up the heat to the highest possible level as Barry pulls the car out of park and begins to back out of their driveway. The tires slide onto the snow-dusted pavement of the road, offering the sound of crunching ice and squeaking rubber as they pull out of their neighborhood.

The snow storm that’s popped up over the state wasn’t part of their travel plans, but it's only added about another hour to their estimated arrival time.  As they drive on and pass by a sign wishing they return to their state soon, the trip blends into a tranquil, everlasting peace. Neither of them say too much, simply turning an ear to the songs coming from the radio. The music notes ease into their souls and ease them along the highway.

“We should get away more often,” Lup comments, her words just as loose and free as the soft curls of heat coming out of the AC. “Leave all our work to Greg Grimaldis, go far, far away from Lynchburg, and never look back…”

“Yeah,” Barry sighs in agreement. “Until Greg starts calling me every day about dropping my shift on him.”

“Yeah, until then.” Lup leans back in her seat and tangles her finger in a loose strand of her hair. “Remember when we decided to move and packed up all our stuff and fucking _bailed_ in, like, one night?”

Barry chuckles. “God, we were so young. We barely thought it all through. We didn’t even have a _house_ yet.”

“I mean, why would we have? It was just the two of us. Nobody else was there to tell us no. Expect your mom.”

“She really liked having all her little chicks back in her nest again. Just her maternal instincts kicking back in...I should give her a call when we get to Chicago.”

Lup turns her head to look at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s been a while,” Barry says, the sun peaking through the storm clouds illuminating the trace of guilt in his expression. “I think she’d like to hear from me more often.”

Something sharp digs into Lup’s gut, a dull pain traveling up her spine. She looks away and stares out the window, the snow flakes falling from the sky mimicking the descent her mood has taken. Barry and her conflict personality-wise; he’s fairly introverted, humble to a fault, and looks before he leaps. Lup would jump off a cliff screaming profanities about her least-favorite co workers without knowing what would await her at the bottom. There their personas interact is where the heart of their relationship lies. They both have a hunger for knowledge, a need for affection, and trust the ones they care about with their lives. Barry is her friend, her support team, and her partner in life. They’re polar opposites that are attracted to each other like how the tide is pushed and pulled by the moon.

Little things like how pained he is for not keeping in touch with his mother is where their differences shine out more than ever. She can’t relate. She never could.

Lup wonders what it would have been like to have a mom. Not a foster mom or an adopted mom. A real mom. Her mom.

What could life had been like if her parents had been responsible? Would she have turned out any better than she is today? Would she have never have had to go through this recovery process?

What if.

Barry says something, his words muffled in Lup’s ears. She hums noncommittally, giving the appearance that she actually did hear him to avoid switching gears off of her train of thought. The thought just won’t leave her head, no matter what she does. One of life’s greatest opportunities was stripped away from her.

It hurts to really consider what has and what might have been taken from her.

 

 

 

They only make one stop during their drive. Unlike Taako, who has told his sister he takes twenty _Five-Hour Energies_ and blazes it all through the night, Lup and Barry prefer to make a stop. At the ungodly hour of the night that they finally do, they end up at a quaint little motel, locally owned and run according to the sign outside.

The room they book is nice considering they’re only staying up to four, maybe five hours. One queen bed, a small bathroom with a decent shower and a double vanity, and carpet that doesn’t smell repulsive. The only negative to be seem is the old floral wallpaper covering the walls, but that little detail is quickly overlooked by the fact that the keys the owner handed them have a tiny dog keychain attached to them.

Barry unlocks the door and Lup wastes no time throwing herself on the bed. The past few hours have been an exhausting parade through the hellscape of her mind. A few sparse hours out of a locomotive will do her lethargic body and mental health wonders.

She’s not sure when she starts to drift off, but sooner than she’d like, Barry taps her on the shoulder and pulls her out of her slumber. “Hmm, wha? Mornin’ already?”

When she looks up at him, there’s a small plastic box with a chocolate cupcake inside of it resting in the palm of his hand. Lup sits up immediately with a gasp, her eyes glowing at Barry like stars in the sky.

“ _Babe_.”

“You seemed a little down so I got this for you.” He holds his hand out closer towards her and Lup eagerly takes the box. The cupcake is in her mouth seconds later, her tastebuds overwhelmed by the pure sugary-cocoa delicacy on top of them.

“ _Mmmmmmmm._ ”

Barry plops himself down next to her on the bed. “Good?”

“O’ yea’ b’be. So gud.”

Barry laughs, wrapping an arm around Lup’s waist as she shamefully devours her sweet treat.

“Where’d y’ get th’s?”

“By the front desk. You didn’t see the display case?”

After several hours of reflection and sleeping like a log, the front desk is nothing more than a concept than an actual place. She swallows her mouthful and mumbles, “Not really, no.”

Barry purses his lips, his look worrisome. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Lup considers her therapy options: confiding in her loving husband or letting the several hundred calories of the cupcake she just ate do all the talking. “It’s not that big a deal.”

There is dead silence in their motel room as Barry’s hand travels to her clasped hands, now covered in bits of chocolate cake and icing, and unravels them. He takes one of her hands and squeezes it.

Suddenly, an outpour of words is flowing out of Lup. “Do think if my parents hadn’t been, y’know...terrible...that I’d be a better person?”

Barry looks at her sardonically. “I’m not following you.”

“I mean...I sure wouldn’t be having this kid problem. And maybe I would be less impulsive and outlandish and whatnot.”

“When are you ever outlandish or any of these things, Lup?”

“That one time at work when I clocked Barbara in the face.”

“That was two years ago.”

“ _Yeah_ , and human resources has hated me ever since.”

Barry shakes his head with a heavy sigh. “Lup, you’re not a bad person just because your parents were. To be fair, Barbara deserved it after all those nasty things he was saying in the workplace. Maybe it would have been wiser to not sucker punch him right in front of your boss, even if Klaarg was secretly down with it.”

Lup bites her lower lip. “Yeah…”

Barry uses his other hand to gently cup Lup’s face and turn it towards him, forcing her to look at him. “But Lup, I’ve never met anyone else in my life who is more confident, compassionate, and frankly as cool as you.”

“The three C’s of perfection,” Lup half-laughs.

“You can joke, but it’s true babe. Think about all the good you’ve done.You stood up for your co workers,  have been making an effort to deal with your issues, and...you changed my life...changed _me_. The Barry that went into college sweaty and self-conscious about everything came out sweaty and less self-conscious.”

Lup hides her ever-rising emotions behind another joke. “You are definitely one of the sweatiest people I’ve ever met in my life. And you’re not even an athlete.”

“I’ve got large sweat glands, what can I say? It’s probably genetic.” He presses a tender kiss to her cheek and Lup leans into his touch. “But in all seriousness, Lup, you don’t need to worry about being a better person. You already are. You beat your parents by a country mile and they’re never gonna catch up to you.”

Damn, if all of that didn’t leave Lup at least a little bit misty eyed, she would be afraid she were an evil android from the future sent to kill them all. Through tears, she kisses Barry back, this time on the lips, and doesn’t pull back until her lungs scream for air. “How do you always know what to say, Bar?”

Barry grins. “I may have purchased a handbook called _What to Say to Lup When She’s Sad_ when we first got married. You know, just in case.”

“Ah-ha! The secret’s out!”

 

 

 

It’s around noon when they finally reach Taako’s apartment, located on the eastern half of the city of Chicago. The city is nothing like the small suburban neighborhood Lup and Barry have been living in for the past three years.

Chicago is _huge_ , as well as everything in it.

Tall skyscrapers, long subways, gigantic parking complexes. Everything is just so big compared to the tiny town of Lynchburg that they have become accustomed to. Every object they see is spouting out noises. Car horns blare, people are chatting, plane engines purr. It’s enough to overload anyone’s senses, especially if they’re not accustomed to city living.

“Woah, Lup look! There’s a billboard all the way up-!”

“BARRY WATCH THE _ROAD!_ ”

Several near collisions later, Lup demands that Barry switch seats with her so she can drive. The rest of trip goes fairly smoothly from there. Lup weaves through midday traffic and Barry lets himself be mesmerized by the sights and sounds of the concrete jungle surrounding them. It’s not so bad a place, Lup has to admit. A little cramped and a little smoggy but otherwise it’s an alright place to spend Candlenights.

What’s not so alright is that when they do reach Taako’s apartment, it takes them thirty minutes to find a parking place. The complex Lup’s brother lives in doesn’t come with its own garage so they have to drive half a block west of the building to find one. After paying the toll, grabbing their luggage and walking back over, it's around two o’clock in the afternoon.

Lup makes sure to keep track of the time. If she can last at least the rest of the day without worrying too much about her parenting issues, than she’ll consider it an improvement.

Her nonexistent record is almost broken when Angus opens the door to Taako’s apartment. The smile on his face is open and wide when he sees Barry, but falters slightly when he sees Lup. It’s such a subtle difference but but notices how his irises shrink and a few of his back molars disappear behind his lips.

Great. What a perfect way to get the ball rolling.

“Uncle Barry! Aunt Lup,” Angus cheers, his enthusiasm placed more on greeting his uncle than his aunt. “It’s so good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Ango,” Lup smiles. Maybe if she can make the push to interact with him more than last time (and not run half a block to go hide in Barry’s _Equinox_ ) then her nephew will loosen up.

However, Angus seems to tense up even more when she speaks. His grip on the door knob tightens, jiggling it and swinging the door about a centimeter forward. He stares at Lup, fretful and seemingly unsure of her presence in his home, before turning to Barry. “How was your trip?”

Barry shrugs. “Fine, minus the couple of times I almost crashed my car. Guess I’m not used to city traffic yet.”

The safe-haven Barry has provided for Angus must vanish because now the kid looks traumatized. His smile drops, curling into an open-mouthed frown. There’s a stutter in his voice as he speaks. “T-That’s...I-I’m so glad you’re both okay. Um...c-come on in.”

Neither of them are given a chance to ask Angus what’s wrong before he runs back inside. Barry looks to Lup. His distress mirrors Lup’s own. “What did I say?”

“I don’t know, hon. I’ll try to ask Taako I guess.”

Barry nods, still visibly concerned, before they make their way inside.

 

 

 

The first thing Lup thinks when she walks into Taako’s apartment is how much it screams _Taako_.

The walls have been painted crimson with swirls of gold that listen in the light fixtures like fireflies in the dark. Beneath their feet is a large rug, colored with the several colors of the rainbow, to cover up the less-colorful vinyl flooring. On the walls are several framed photos and posters for the popular book series _Caleb Cleveland_ , which Lup suspects to be Angus’ doing.

The incense burning on the kitchen counter make the whole place smell like snickerdoodle. Lup’s stomach starts to gurgle just at the thought of eating the cinnamon delicacies. Maybe she and Taako can bake some later together. Speaking of Taako-

“Lup! Barry!”

The unease from their exchange with Angus is exterminated the moment Lup sees her brother wander out of his bedroom. He has the ugliest Candlenights sweater on that Lup can possibly imagine, the kind that has lights built into it around the festive design. His arms are outstretched and Lup wastes no time barreling into him. The lights from his sweater poke into her skin, leaving a dull ache, but Lup only holds him tighter.

It’s only been two months since they last saw each other in person but it felt so much longer.

Lup pulls away from her brother about an arm’s length, reaching down to hold his hands. “Happy Candlenights, little bro.”

“You’re, like, five minutes older than me! It doesn’t count.”

“Yes it does.” She gives Taako a kiss on the cheek.

Taako rolls his eyes. “To you, maybe. God, are all older sibling like this? I know Magnus definitely wasn’t.”

They let go of each other as Barry walks over to join them. Taako wraps an arm around Barry’s shoulders, his eyes flashing deviously. “Barold. Mr. Bluejeans. _Bluebarry_. Mi casa es su casa.”

Barry laughs. “Haven’t heard that one before. How’ve ya been, Taako?”

Taako pats his chest and Lup tries really hard not to laugh when Barry’s face flushes. “Pretty great, my man. You and my sister doing good?”

“Yes. Or, uh...Lup, we’re good, right?”

Lup can’t help but snicker. “Of course we are, babe. Taako, stop making my husband so uncomfortable. You’re a terrible host.”

“Rude,” Taako mutters but he gives Barry his space, taking a step away from him. “Do you two need help with your luggage or anything or can I pull out a bottle of wine and chill while you two do it?”

“Lucky for you, we pack light. Go grab your chardonnay or whatever.”

“ _Thank you_ my blessed, blessed sister.”

The two of them grab their luggage and toss it in Taako’s bedroom. Lup and Taako had already negotiated on sleeping arrangements for the week since his apartment only has two bedrooms. There was no way either of them were going to force Angus to leave his room so that left Taako’s bed and the fold-up couch. After a long rock-paper-scissors match over _Skype_ (which took longer when Lup’s end kept lagging), Taako had been kicked to the sofa for seven days.

 _“You’re lucky I love you or else I would have revoked your invitation to come over. But you_ are _paying for my chiropractor bills after this.”_

Taako has three glasses of wine sitting on the kitchen counter when they come back out. “Drink up. Ease your nerves from driving on the highway for so long.”

They all are caught up in a long conversation about what’s been going on in the past two months. Lup tells her brother about work first, just to get the boring stuff out of the way. Then she moves on to telling him about the couple’s costume Barry and her wore for Halloween.

“So wait, just for clarification,” Taako interrupts, “who was Rick and who was Morty?”

“I was Rick,” Lup answers.

“And I’m pretty sure the flask was _just_ supposed to be for decoration,” Barry mentions.

“Hey, you were the one answering the door half the time. I was allowed to get a bit into character.”

Lup tells Taako more about spending Thanksgiving with Merle and his family, most of which he was heard about over the phone, before telling him about the impromptu babysitting adventure with Mavis. Taako is beaming at her the entire time, his pride radiating off of him like the sun.

Eventually, it’s Taako’s turn to gossip about his life. _Sizzle It Up!_ is doing great and has become successful enough for Taako to afford to close it down for the holiday season. Ren, his co-owner, and him are still planning on going to work in a couple of days to bring in next week’s shipment of supplies and whipping some dishes up for the local soup kitchen.

“Ango’s gonna come with us. If you two want to join-?”

“Oh hell yeah, we’re coming,” Lup announces.

“Of course we will,” Barry follows up with.

Taako shows them picture on his phone from Halloween. In many of them, Angus is dressed in an archaic suit from what looks like the early twentieth century. In one hand, he’s holding a magnifying glass and in the other a pumpkin-shaped pail to hold his holiday spoils in.

“Make a guess who the little man decided to be.”

“ _Caleb Cleveland_?” Lup smirks.

“Bingo.”

All the other photos are of bathroom selfies Taako took in his flapper costume. According to him, each of his selfies had over one hundred likes each on _Instagram_.

Kravitz had come over for Thanksgiving and the entire time Taako is talking about him, Lup has to make an effort not to spill the beans on the engagement in his future.

Which is extremely hard to do because her brother looks so damn happy just thinking about his boyfriend it makes her want to cry.

“You two sound really happy together,” Barry says fondly.

Taako tries to hide the blush forming on his cheeks by tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. “Yeah, we really are. Hopefully it stays that way, y’know?”

“I do know.” He sets his glass down on the counter carefully to avoid spilling the wine that’s still in it. “You two keep talking. I have to use the restroom real quick.”

“You know where it is?” Taako asks.

“Yeah, it that room right there, right?”

“That’s the laundry room.”

Barry points in a different direction. “That one?”

“There you go. You got it.”

Barry excuses himself, leaving the two twins to their own devices. Lup realizes the window of opportunity she’s been given and uses her liquid courage to help her. “Hey Taako?”

“Hmm?”

“Is everything alright with Angus? He’s...he acted kinda strangely earlier.”

Taako’s joy flickers out of him like an old lightbulb. “Before you go jumping to conclusions, it’s not your fault, okay?”

Lup nods. “Okay…?”

Her brother sighs, setting his glass of wine to the side and resting his elbows up on the counter. “Try to keep this on the downlow, okay? The kiddos trying to let people know about this on his own and I don’t want to take that away from him. But I also won’t want you thinking it’s your fault so cross your heart and swear to die right now that you won’t tell anyone. Not even Barry.”

Lup swallows thickly, her hand forming an X over one of her most important arteries. “I swear. So what’s up?”

Taako looks down at the vinyl flooring. “Ango’s parents died in a car crash around seven years ago. Their anniversary is coming up soon. Like _this week_ soon.”

Something heavy drops down into Lup’s stomach. The wine in her intestines turns to fire. “Oh…”

“He’s been going through the motions. We’re gonna visit their graves after helping with the soup kitchen. He’s...he’s been nervous about telling you. Doesn’t want to upset ya or anything since he knows what you’re going through.”

Lup is holding handle of her glass tight enough to snap it. “He doesn’t need to worry about that.”

“I know, but he still thinks he will. Just...if he stops you all of a sudden, listen to what he was to say. And if he doesn’t try…”

Taako’s eyes are starting to gloss over. Lup abandons her own glass and takes his hands. “I’m not going to run away this time, okay? When Angus is ready to talk about it, I’ll be right here.”

There is something in Taako’s eyes Lup can’t read, mainly because she’s not sure if she understands it yet. But her gut tells her she’s doing the right thing. “Thanks, Lu.”

Lup just smiles.

Suddenly, Taako’s phone starts blaring _Money Won’t Pay_ by Bo En. The face of a woman pops up right underneath the caller’s name. Ren.

“Hold up, gotta take this.” Taako wipes at his eyes as he picks up the call, putting the phone up to his year. “Y’ello?...Uh uh... _shut up_. You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

Lup raises an eyebrow. “Taako?”

Taako holds up his index finger and mouths, _Hold on_. “Okay, just-...I can go get an extra table from Hurley...no, she’ll be okay with-...just hang on. I’m on my way...no, don’t worry about it...just tell me next time, alright?...Hang on, I’ll be there soon.”

Taako slams his finger down on the hang-up button, whispering a thousand profanities under his breath. A vein starts pulsing on his forehead at a tempo fast enough for any musician to stumble to.

“What happened?”

“A party of twenty just walked into our restaurant when we’re apparently already _fully booked_ and one of our dining tables just broke,” Taako growls. He starts walking around his apartment briskly, grabbing a coat and his keys. “Now I gotta go get a fold-up from a friend of mine and prepare myself for the onslaught of complaints that are sure to come my way. God, if Ren would have told me _sooner_ we didn’t have any tables left-”

He cuts himself off with a sigh.

“Look, I gotta go take care of it. Will...will you be okay watching Angus for a few hours? I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

He doesn’t need to ask if the two of them will be fine watching Angus. It’s not Barry Taako’s worried about after all.

This time, however, he shouldn’t have to worry at all.

Lup takes the ends of his coat and pulls the zipper up to his collarbone. “Don’t worry about me. Just stay warm out there. It’s cold as fuck.”

The vein popping out of Taako’s forehead stills as one of his concerns is relieved from him. “Thanks, Lulu.”

“Don’t mention it, ‘koko.”

Taako sneers at her before running out the door at sonic speed. Lup locks the door behind him and lets her thoughts mingle with the incense filling her lungs. Angus has been cooped up in his room since they’ve arrived, which won’t stand anymore. Somehow, she needs to find a way to lure him out and keep the energy between them super chill and cool.

Basically, she needs to be the cool aunt she was destined to be.

So what does a cool aunt do exactly?

She takes a deep breath, stomach still rumbling from the smell of cinnamon that is not a tangible thing she can eat right now.

Or can she?

 

 

 

She knocks on Angus’ door once, then twice, and then a third time.

“Ango? Pumpkin? Buckaroo?”

There’s movement from behind the door and the sound of a drawer closing. A second later, Angus’ face appears between a thin crack in the doorway. “Aunt Lup? W-What’s going on?”

“Your dad got an emergency call from work. He’s gonna be gone for a few hours.”

Angus looks away from her. “Oh-”

“So I was thinking we could make some cookies for when he comes back.”

Her suggestion flies out of her mouth so fast it's a surprise Angus even hears it. “Cookies?”

“Y-Yeah.” Lup kicks herself for stuttering. This has to work. She has to get Angus out of his room. She has to make him feel comfortable. If not, she’s failed as a parental figure for sure.

No, worse than that. She’s failed Angus. She’s broken what little trust they may already share.

Angus pulls the door open further, pushing his glasses up higher on the bridge of his nose. “What kind?”

Lup hides her relief in a grin. “Snickerdoodles.”


	11. Making a Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baking!!!! Cookies!!!! Harmless fluff really :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept telling myself at school today, "Don't post the next chapter yet. Don't post the next chapter yet. Grace DON'T-" but I couldn't wait any longer. Also, I'm not gonna get a chance to update tomorrow so I'd rather get the next chapter out when I know I'll be able to.
> 
> Thank you all for the support, especially as we move into this next part of the story! I guess we're entering the third act now??? More like halfway in between the second and third one. You get the point. It's time for things to get wILD ™

Cooking has always been Lup’s second nature. Years spent being her Aunt’s second sous chef and working with Taako have turned her into a pretty decent cook. She’s not her twin, who can make creme brulee in his sleep, but she can make pancakes that will knock your socks off. It’s her instinct to make do with what she’s got and turn every meal into a  _ Chopped _ basket just for the hell of it.

Simply standing in her brother’s kitchen has reawaken that feeling, that urge to create something. This space is hers to weave and control to her own liking, and today she would really like some snickerdoodles.

And to bond with her nephew and whatnot.

“Babe, Ango, listen carefully, because I’m only going to list off the ingredients once. Ready?

Barry nods firmly, his hands already holding onto the handles for the pantry. This certainly isn’t his first rodeo; he’s cooked with Lup at least once a week for he past three years. The two of them have made dinner out of nothing but microwavable veggies and a packet of instant-pesto.

Angus, however, seems more apprehensive. He’s holding his hands together, weaving his fingers together as if he’s tying them into knots. There’s a sweatband around his forehead and an apron tied around his waist with his name embroidered on it, which Lup infers means he has cooked with Taako often.

He’s never cooked with Lup before. From the dozens of cookbooks and original recipes written down on notebook paper scattered around the apartment, Angus has never been in this type of cooking environment.

Oh boy, is this going to be fun.

“I need sugar, butter, two eggs, flour, baking soda, salt, sugar, cinnamon, a measuring cup, and measuring spoons. GO!”

With that, the two boys are off to the races. Barry’s moves are calculated, his body stiff but precise in just where in the kitchen it needs to be. He grabs the butter, flour, sugar, baking soda, and the measuring spoons.

Angus is a fish out of water. While the young boy has a better understanding of where everything is, the shock of not having a recipe disrupts his actions. He clings on to the ingredients he remembers Lup spouting out, but freezes suddenly without warning when he forgets something. After a few stumbles, Angus finds the salt, cinnamon, and the measuring cup and places them on the counter.

Lup inspects the ingredients in front of her, eyeing them each down quizzically next to the shortening, tartar cream, and the giant bowl she retrieved herself. She has the basics to make cookies and the extra spices to make the cinnamon treats her stomach is demanding.

“D-Did we go good, Aunt Lup?” Angus asks meekily.

“Hmmm,” Lup puts her hands on her hips. “You two did good, but…”

“There’s always a but,” Barry whispers to Angus. The poor boy looks like he’s about to cry because of Lup

“W-What are we missing?”

“We’re missing... _ love _ .”

“Love-?” Angus questions right before Lup kisses him on the forehead. He freezes, a small gasp escaping him. “ _ Oh. _ ”

Lup giggles. “You should have seen Barry the first time I pulled that on him. He was as red as a tomato. Now you ready to bake some rad snickerdoodles?”

Angus nods enthusiastically.

“Then let’s get to it! Babe, preheat the oven to four hundred degrees. Then get a smaller bowl. Pour a fourth of a cup of the of the sugar in it and two teaspoons of cinnamon, Stir it around a bit so it’s all mixed together.

“You got it,” Barry grins, already measuring out the exact amount of sugar he needs.

Lup turns to Angus. “You’re gonna help me start the batter. Can you take those two eggs and crack them in the bowl for me?”

“Yes, Aunt Lup.”

Angus grabs an egg off of the counter and taps it against the edge of the counter. When he holds it over the bowl, nothing happens.

“Aww, hon, you gotta tap it harder than that,” Lup coaches him. C’mon, give it another go.”

Angus taps his egg again. This time the yolk oozes out of the shell before he even has it over the bowl. Half of the egg makes it into the bowl. The rest of it drips down to the floor.

“Atta boy!” Lup cheers. She goes over to the paper towel rack and tears out a couple of sheets.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make a mess.”

“Are you kidding?” Lup asks as she wipes off the floor. “That’s what baking’s all about! Rule number one: you gotta get messy. You and Taako must make messes all the time.”

“Oh, y-yeah we do.”

“Then don’t worry about it. Tell ya a secret?” Lup motions for Angus to lean in closer. He does so timidly. “I couldn’t crack an egg properly until I was thirteen.”

“Really?”

“ _ Yeeeeeeeep _ ,” Lup replies, popping her P.  “Don’t tell Taako that or he’ll never let me live it down.”

Barry scoots over his bowl closer to their work station. “Coating’s ready.”

“Great! Ango, keep smashing those eggs. Barry, take the tartar, the butter, and the shortening and add this much of these…”

The three of them find a collective groove that they each follow. Lup gives the orders, Barry does the measuring, and Angus dumps everything in the bigger bowl. Once the correct amount of ingredients have been added, Lup hands Angus a spoon for him to stir the dough while she pours in the flour, salt, and baking soda.

After a few minutes of intense stirring on Angus’ part, the dough is ready to be balled up.

“So here’s what you do,” Lup informs her nephew. “You grab a spoonful,or a handful, depending on your “scooper” of choice.”

She reaches into the bowl with her hand and pulls out enough dough to cover about three-fourths of her palm.

“Then you’re gonna wanna roll it up like play dough and plop it in Barry’s bowl. Roll it around in the cinnamon-sugar mix until it's evenly coated. Got it?”

“Got it,” Angus smiles.

“Alright. Start scooping.”

Angus reaches into the bowl with his stirring spoon and scoops out a chunk of dough. He flicks the spoon down and the batter falls onto his hand. After rolling up into a perfectly-sized ball, he places it in the cinnamon-sugar mix and coats the outside. Once he’s done, he holds it up for Lup to see. “Is this good?”

Lup holds out her hand and Angus hands her his raw cookie. She locks her eyes onto the cookie and smiles. “Perfect.”

Then she tosses the dough into her mouth.

Angus’ jaw drops. “B-But...why did you do that?”

“Rule number two: always sample your first take. It may be raw, but you’ll still be able to taste anything we may have left out and we won’t waste time baking them. Also, raw cookie dough is delicious. Here.”

Lup quickly balls up her dough and tosses it into the sugar-cinnamon mix. Once it's covered, she holds it up in front of Angus’ face.

“Open up.”

Angus stares at her for a minute before realizing what she means. Slowly, he opens his mouth wide enough for Lup to squeeze her cookie into.

There’s a fireworks display that goes off in his eyes as he chews on the dough. “Mmmmm.”

“Good?”

“Mmmhmm!” He swallows his mouthful down and grins. “But aren’t we not supposed to eat raw cookie dough?”

Lup shrugs. “You can get sick from it, but I never have.”

“I did that one time,” Barry interjects.

“Like I said,  _ I _ never have. Now c’mon you two, get to rolling!”

Around ten minutes later, there are twenty two balls of sugar and cinnamon coated dough sitting on a cooking rack on top of the fridge. Lup takes two oven mitts out of a drawer and hands then to Angus. “Would you like to do the honors, good sir?”

Angus blinks. “M-Me?”

“No, Caleb Cleveland. Of course I mean you!”

“Oh,” Angus jumps. “Um…”

Some kind of weird-parental sense kicks into gear inside of Lup. It must be her finally achieving her cool aunt powers. “You never put anything into the oven before?”

“No I have, it’s just…” Angus mumbles. “I’m kind of...scared of the oven.”

Barry lets out a heavy sigh. “Oh, thank goodness. I’m not the only one.”

It’s astonishing Angus doesn’t get whiplash from turning to look at Barry so quickly. “Huh?!”

“Yeah, not too big a fan myself,” Barry continues. “I burned my chin as a little kid on a cupcake tin and I’ve kinda...always been scared of getting burned.”

“A reasonable fear,” Lup adds.

“I’m also afraid of the dark...and large spiders. Oh, and those caterpillars with the spikes on them.”

“Well, there’s no need to go giving him a list of all your major weaknesses,” Lup child's him. “But y’see Ango? It’s fine if you don’t wanna do it. This isn’t like  _ Fear Factor _ or anything. I’ll do it-”

“No,” Angus interrupts her.

“What?”

“I...I want to do it.”

“You sure?” Lup asks. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do. My teacher Mrs. Lucretia was always telling me to do hard things. So does my dad. Besides, it’s not going to be as scary as I think it is.”

_ As long as you don’t actually burn yourself _ , Lup thinks but she pushes that thought aside. There’s a newfound confidence in Angus’ voice and there’s no way in hell she’d take that away from him. He deserves his chance to be brave.

Lup hands him the oven mitts. “Take it away, Ango.”

Angus takes the mittens and slides them over his hands. They’re about half a size too big for him but he stays determined. Just like how an exhausted parent may pick up a sleeping infant, Angus grabs onto the tray one hand at a time, even though it’s not even hot yet. Then ever so carefully, he steps back and lets Lup open the oven door for him.

Angus tries to look the other way as he guides the tray into the oven rack inside. His face twists into a grimace as he comes closer and closer to possibly touching the edges of the oven…

But he doesn’t and he sets the tray down right in the middle of the rack, the ideal spot to cook evenly on all sides. Angus whips his arms out and exhales loudly. “That was intense.”

Lup laughs, closing the oven door and setting the timer for nine minutes. “So did you conquer your fear?”

Angus shakes his head. “Nope.”

It’s such a simple answer, so direct, and the familiar anxiety Lup has been battling for the past two months returns to her. This had all been a waste, hadn’t it? She just forced Angus to do something that scared him and now he’s still scared and he must hate her for it-

“But I’m less scared than before. Maybe next time dad wants to bake something, I’ll offer to put whatever we’re making into the oven for him..” Angus locks eyes with Lup and beams. “Thank you for letting me bake with you two, Aunt Lup. It was fun. I...I really needed it…”

Is this it? Is this were Angus finally confesses to her? Oh God, what if he start’s crying? Mavis and Mooky never cried for her so she’s not sure what she would do. What she’s  _ supposed _ to do.

No. If Angus cries, then she'll he his shoulder to lean on. After all, children are people too. Just because they aren’t over twenty one doesn’t mean they haven’t experienced the same traumatizing things grownups have.

And with that thought, something inside of Lup is finally mended.

It starts as a small warmth in her chest, then it spreads throughout her entire body. Her lungs breathe in air that tastes fresher than ever before. The weight of her past ordeals and present insecurities is lifted. She feels herself grow tall enough to reach for the sun and cup it in her hands.

She’s messed up, and so is Angus, and so is everybody else. What makes her different is the fact that she has strived to be healed.

Now, it’s her chance to heal in return.

Angus continues to stare at her, his mouth agape as if to say something, but then he closes it. He lowers his gaze to the floor and sulks.

Lup feels like someone just handed her all the power in the world and suddenly stripped her of it. “Angus? Are you okay?”

“‘M fine,” he mutters. “I...can I go to my room and...read for a little bit?’

_ I want to be alone _ , Lup translates. She puts on the kindest smile she can possibly muster. “Of course you can, pumpkin. I’ll call you out when it's time to sample the cookies, okay?”

Angus doesn’t reply. Silently, he takes off his headband and unties his apron, leaving them on the edge of the couch as he reacts to his room.

Lup waits until she hears his door lock click before putting her head in her hands.

“Lup what’s wrong?” As always in these sorts of situations, Barry is at her side in an instant.

“That poor kid,” she murmurs before looking up. “Look, I can’t tell you about what’s wrong, because Taako made me swear on my life not to, but the kid’s going through a rough patch right now. I thought...maybe if I tried to step up...t-to be there for him and act like the presense he needs...that I could help him. I thought I finally worked through everything and that I could help-”

Her voice cracks and she shuts her eyes tight. That’s it then. She failed. She couldn’t help Angus. If anything, she may have made him feel worse. It’s all her fault. Somehow, it’s all her fault, eve the stuff she may not be responsible for. The things she couldn't control. It’s all on her because she’s the adult, Angus is the child. How could she ever believe, for even a moment, that everything wasn’t black and white? That there was this gray area where the two of them could find common ground and confide in each other?

That kind of world doesn’t exist.

Like all the other times this has happened, Barry is right there for her, with his arms wrapped around her in an embrace. Lup accepts it but can’t find it in her heart to return it this time. She doesn't’ deserve to be confronted. Angus does.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Barry asks, his voice just a wisp in the wind.

Lup bites her lip and holds back a sob. She forces herself to say something, anything, just so Barry won’t worry so much. “Milk?” C-Can’t have snickerdoodles without m-milk.”

Barry lets her go and wanders over to the fridge. He pokes his head inside and investigates what Taako has stocked up. “I...don’t think he has any.”

Lup wipes tears out of her eyes. “R-Really?”

“Uh huh. Ironically, he has a full-carton of soy milk. Guess he wanted to be ready for my arrival.”

Barry’s joke falls on deaf ears as Lup leans back against the counter, another sob ready to break her walls and tear her apart. “Hey, hey, Loopy?” He’s back at her side again, taking her hands and squeezing them tightly. “Lup, don’t beat yourself up over this. You tried so hard, I know you did. That’s all that matters in the end. That you tried.”

Lup can’t force herself to speak anymore.

“T-Tell you what? I’ll go grab some milk, okay? There’s a gas station not far from here. I’ll be back before the timer even goes off, if the traffic allows it. Okay?”

Lup is too overwhelmed to do anything but nod.

Barry sighs silently presses a kiss to her cheek. “It’s not your fault, Lup. You did nothing wrong. You never have.”

He lets there hands go and for just a moment, a deep chill runs up Lup’s spine. She reaches out to grab him, to pull him back, fearing the warmth of his hands is leaving her forever-

But then the moment passes and Lup’s hands drop to her sides as Barry walks out the door.

 

 

 

Two minutes pass.

Then five.

Then nine and the oven buzzer goes off.

Lup doesn’t make any moves to turn it off. She knows if she lets it stay on, it’ll scream at her incessantly, for what may be an eternity.

Good. At least it will never change. At least the oven buzzer never has to worry about ever being shut off or mistreated. It’s just an oven buzzer. It should be allowed to do what it was always meant to do. Make noise.

Fill the silence.

What will Taako say to her when he gets home?  _ How’d it go with Ango? He say anything to you? Did you make any progress Lup? _

Maybe he already knows what happened and he’ll say what she’s already saying to herself.

_ I’m so disappointed in you, Lup. _

There’s another noise that yells with the oven buzzer. A creaky door handle? A voice maybe? Is Taako here to yell at her? Is it Barry? Did he finally realize what a hopeless cause she is? Will he finally leave her as she was always meant to be? Alone?

“Lup!”

There it is. The voice. Yelling at her. Furious with her.

“Aunt Lup!”

It’s Angus. Of course it’s Angus. He has every right to yell at her for what she’s done. This is what she deserves. To be trapped in this single moment of agony forever.

“ _ Aunt Lup! _ ”

Fear. That’s what breaks through the fog in Lup’s brain first. It’s the fear in Angus’ voice that snaps her out of her trance, returning her to the present.

Just as she does, Angus turns off the oven buzzer and the apartment falls silent.

The two of them stare at each other, both of their eyes rimmed with red and their faces tear-stained. Angus’ glasses are sliding off the bridge of his nose and without saying a word, he pushes them back up.

“Aunt Lup, why are you crying?”

The warmth is back in Lup’s chest, but it’s duller than before. It’s not as powerful, not as strong.

“Oh, um...I was just thinking…”

“You didn’t hear the buzzer go off?”

She shakes her head ever so slightly, just enough for Angus see it.

“I was...really deep in thought.”

Angus only hums in response. “S-Should I pull them out then?”

“Yeah...no. No, I’ll get it this time.”

“Okay.”

Neither of them say a word as Lup pulls out the snickerdoodles and sets them on top of the oven. They’re perfectly done, their smell even greater than Taako’s incense.

“Plate?” she asks.

Angus reaches into one of the many cabinets and hands her one. Lup takes a spatula and slides every single twenty two cookies onto the plate. Soft curls of steam rise from the top of the pile and dissipate a moment later.

“They’re too hot to eat.” It’s a lie. Lup has popped cookies into her mouth the moment they came out of the oven before. She just doesn’t feel like putting on another show.

“Okay...how long do we have to wait?”

“You’ll know when they’re ready.”

Angus hums again.

They wait in silence. Lup stares at the cookies as if they’ll turn into some sort of magical device that will fix all of her problems. Maybe they will if she keeps it up. No sense in looking away now…

It’s about thirty minutes later and the steam has stopped rising from the plate of snickerdoodles when Angus finally asks-

“Where’s Uncle Barry?”

Lup looks up from the snickerdoodles. “He went out to get some milk. He...he should be back now.”

Barry _ should _ have been back half an hour ago. Lup knows exactly which gas station he was talking about right before he left. It’s only about a three minute drive away.

Something must be wrong.

It’s right then, when Lup finally catches on to the unusualness of the situation, that her phone starts ringing. Cautiously, she pulls it out and read the caller ID. It’s not Barry. She’s not sure who it is.

She answers it anyway.

“Hello?”

“ _ Hello? Is this Lup Bluejeans? _ ”

The woman on the other side of the line is a stranger to Lup. A stranger who definitely shouldn’t know her name. “Yeah? Who is this?”

“ _ Ma’am, this is the main desk of the Northwestern Memorial Hospital. We’re calling to tell you that your husband Barry Bluejeans was admitted into our emergency room after being involved in a car crash. He’s currently undergoing surgery and is in critical condition- _ ”

Lup doesn’t hear anything the nurse says after that. Instead, she grabs Angus’ hand and runs out the door, too absorbed in shock to tell her nephew what’s going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zag on 'em
> 
> Here's the cookie recipe used in this chapter: https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/snickerdoodles/7ffc92a9-d847-4869-9ecb-99de3b751b14&sa=D&ust=1505774585831000&usg=AFQjCNE1NhyywAYYP-Z9PZhlqD5A4X1P_Q . I haven't tried it myself but it looks REAL GOOD and I'm definitely going to bake these snickerdoodles when I get the chance.
> 
> So hey.....enjoy the ending? I'm going to apologize in advance here: sorry. It should go without saying that we'll be diving into some hospital themes in the next few chapters so just a heads up there. I don't know exactly how hospitals operate and every time I write a hospital scene I look up stuff but it's fair to say I'm gonna get 99.9% of it wrong. Hang with me here, I'm doing my best.
> 
> Again, thank you all!


	12. The Unimaginable Scenario

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup stands on the verge of losing everything. Angus has already lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: There is very vivid descriptions of a panic attack, as well as hospital themes and descriptions of violence (as in major injuries). I know you all are enjoying this story but please stay safe and if you skip this chapter you won't be left you too confused plot-wise so don't worry.
> 
> That being said, thank you all for reading as always. The support is really needed as we roll into this next part of the story, since we're all basically taking a trip to Miserable Town™

There is an eerie collectiveness possessing the hospital that keeps all who are suffering moaning silently in their beds and doctors and nurses level-headed as they rush from room to room, making it just in time to grab souls that are trying to escape and stuffing them back in their bodies. Everything is sterile and yet everyone is coughing or bleeding or crying so hard they have to wipe snot on their sleeves. Panels of pure white light shine down from the ceiling tiles as if giving the patients a peak of what may be in store for them.

Years from now, Lup will remember coming to this conclusion, and several others, about how hospitals are designed to dull the horrors and risks of everyday life. No one knows they have an allergy until they come into contact with what they are allergic to. No one expects someone to survive a twenty foot fall off a cliff or die from tripping over their own feet. In a world where babies die without warning days after birth and several diseases remain untreated and undiscovered, a hospital is nothing more than a washed-down lecture about the joys of life.

She will also remember the mile and a half she walked through Chicago with her nephew to reach the Northwestern Memorial Hospital and how she carried her distressed-fueled body up to the front desk. Every action she takes etches itself into her memory and forms itself into a story she will tell on for years and years. It will become a staple of her life, a moment of defiance and perseverance through one of the worst possible scenarios a person can ever go through. She will remember how the lady behind the desk told her husband was still in surgery and how there had been no recent developments on his condition. There had been an exchange of worries and reassurances, as well as the formal requirements of asking to fill out paperwork after Barry’s fate had been decided. The whole while, Lup had kept her head just enough to give simple, one-worded responses, the kind she despised and yet leaned on to keep her sanity in that moment.

Then a doctor had come out, his scrubs underneath his lab coat stained a fresh cherry red and a paper mask hanging down from his neck. There had been more talking, a long explanation of what had been broken, what was removed, and what had brought Barry so close to death’s door. In that moment, and that moment only, it didn’t matter where any of them were or what had happened.

All Lup needed to remember was that Barry had survived. That was enough. That was more than enough.

Now, as she is being led to her husband’s hospital room, his new home for an indefinite period of time, Lup discreetly slides back into her previous state of exhaustion. All of her brain power leaves her, taking with it the reliability of her senses and the pain in her feet. There is no reason to acknowledge the incessant pulsing in her heels if she does not have the energy to care. Many other matters are of higher importance right now. Or to be more precise, one matter. Barry.

The tiles beneath her feet began to melt and harden into one long slab of stone as she walks over them. Everything she touches and gazes upon shifts and transforms into something foreign but similar enough not to go noticed. Doors conjoin into the walls, windows and computer screens into paintings of light, people into shadows, to statues, to dust-

To nothing.

Her only constant is the smaller hand holding hers. Lup knows it belongs to someone, a relative maybe, but even their identity takes too much effort to remember. They continue to exist in her mind because of the weight of their hand, the strength in their grip, and the sting of their fingernails digging into her skin.

After walking around the world and back, the doctor leading them to Barry’s room stops, says something about her husband’s condition, and gestures for her to look inside the room. While the world around her may be nothing more than smudge on the end of a telescope, every wire and tube sticking out of Barry stands out like spilt red wine on a white table cloth. Through her clogged eardrums, she can pick up the slow beating of a heart monitor. It’s at a rate much slower than her own. Too slow.

The first thought Lup will remember thinking is how she never cried after receiving the call from the hospital and how that fact stayed the same when she finally saw Barry’s crippled body.

The second thought will be the sickening memory of a child’s anguished scream.

It’s then, when Angus tries to jerk his hand out of hers and crumbles in on himself that Lup remembers who is with her and that she’s with Angus and Angus is with her and Angus is-

In a hospital. A hospital where his uncle is recovering from a car crash. A car crash like the one that killed his parents so many years ago.

That’s when Lup wakes up.

Instinct kicks in. The kind of instinct a bystander may get when witnessing a crime or a teacher about to witness a student fall off a swing set. It’s familiar to her, but not too familiar.

But right now, there isn’t any time to waste thinking about it. Lup crouches down next to Angus, making sure not to lose her hold on him. Her other hand grasps his shoulder and she squeezes it gently. “Angus? Angus, sweetie? Angus, listen to me. He’s okay. H-He’s okay.”

Angus doesn’t seem to hear her. If anything, his wailing only grows louder. All of his breaths are quick and sharp, his face bulging as he is hit with sob after sob after sob.

It’s a panic attack. Lup knows from experience. She’s in bullet time now, thinking back to what her stepmom used to do for her when the loneliness would grow to strong  or when she’d grow tired of looking in her face in the mirror because for a split second, she would always think it was Taako.

Breathing. She always had trouble breathing.

“Breathe with me Angus. Ready? In...out.”

The strangled gasp that comes out of Angus sends chills down Lup’s spine but he takes in more air than he had been before.

“In...out.”

Another breath. Angus takes in a full air full this time.

“Good. You’re doing great Angus. Just keep breathing.”

Lup takes in her surroundings, trying to think of what else her stepmother used to do for her. There are eyes boring into them from the doctors and nurses working around them and the patients that can see through the cracks in their doors. Too many people in such a confined space. That has to be fixed.

She looks up at the doctor and says as calmly as possible, “Is there another room I can take him to?”

The doctor nods and quickly motions for her to follow them. As if picking up a ticking pipe bomb, Lup scoops Angus up into her arms as gently as humanly possible. He tries to press his face into her neck but Lup pushes him off of her just enough so he can still breathe.

She follows the doctor down the hall and into a small office. Lup barely pays any mind to the layout of the room, instead channeling her focus onto setting Angus down on the floor. As soon as Angus’ knees hit the carpeted floor, he lunges at Lup, wrapping his arms around her so tightly it pops her back. Once again, Lup has to move him just enough so he has enough space to breathe, and prays to whoever’s above her that she’s doing the right thing.

“It’s okay, Angus. Just keep breathing. You’re doing wonderful, pumpkin. Just keep up the good work.”

From the corner of her eye, Lup catches the doctor mouth to her, _ I’ll be back _ , before softly closing the door behind them. Now it’s just the two of them. Lup and Angus. Lup and her nephew, that she should have known better than to bring him here. Back to the place that would only remind him of his parent’s death.

_ What have I done? _

She has to keep it together. There will be time to give in to her guilt later. Right now, Angus is her main priority. He is the only one that matters in this moment. Barry will get his turn once they step outside.

“You’re okay, Angus. Barry is okay. We’re all gonna be okay.”

Time is passing way too slowly for Lup. Every inhale the kid makes sounds like nails on a chalkboard and Lup wants more than anything to take away his unkempt anxiety. She wants to bundle up every negative thought and fear bottled up inside of him into a jar and chuck it in the ocean. She wants to scream at the fates to give them Barry back, completely unscathed and pristine. She’ll rewind time if she has to, rip the space time continuum up with her bare hands. 

All she wants is not to lose her family again, and right now all she can do is wait. Wait and wait and wait.

Until finally, Angus’ breathing goes back to normal and his body slumps forward into her. Lup cradles him against her, running a hand through his thick curly hair. With her thumb, she wipes the stray tears off of his face and onto her pants. It takes several more agonizing minutes before the excess blood in Angus’ face drains away, turning his skin back to its usual complexion.

When he finally looks up at her, Lup can’t look away from the broken blood vessel in his right eye. “‘M sorry, Aunt Lup…”

His voice is so small, so fragile. It breaks Lup’s heart even more.

“There is nothing to apologize for, Angus. You kept breathing. I’m so proud of you.”

He stares at her, his face twisted in some form of confusion. “Aunt Lup? Are...are you crying?”

Lup blinks and feels two fat tears of her own trickle down her jawline. “Oh...I guess so, little man. I guess-”

Her voice cracks, and as Lup’s words turn into sobs she buries her face in Angus’ hair, not wanting the kid to see her down. He needs her to be the strong one and look at her. She’s broken, reduced to ash and rubble and salty tears. An hour ago, everything was fine. The three of them were baking cookies and they were all so  _ happy _ . Why did any of that have to change?

Two thin arms slink around Lup’s waist and as Angus pulls her into a hug, Lup starts to tremble. The weight of her situation, about Barry’s condition hits her suddenly like an oncoming train. Barry isn’t okay. Barry could die. He survived the crash and came out of surgery but he could still  _ die _ and she could lose him. Her lab partner, her friend, the love of her life?

Oh God, what would life without Barry even be like? What would Lup do without his constant love and support? It would be like losing Taako all over again-

-but permanently. No amount of web searches and phone calls could ever bring him back. If Barry died, he’d just be gone.

Forever.

Lup would be a widow. She would be alone.

She can’t even imagine how Angus went through this all on his own as a young boy when she can barely imagine the scenario as an adult.

By the time Lup is out of tears, there is a knock on the office door and the doctor from before pokes their head in and asks if they’re both okay. Lup rises to her feet, taking Angus up with her, and the two of them leave the room hand in hand.

The doctor continues to explain Barry’s condition to Lup, each word forming into a dagger that stabs right through her chest. They list off what seems like an infinite amount of fractures and a vague description of the rest of the bodily harm that has been caused to Barry. Lup has to ask them to stop once she feels bile rise up in her throat upon hearing the words, “vocal cord paralysis.”

She asks the doctor to give her a list of the injuries instead.

Finally, the doctor leaves the just outside of Barry’s room, his door left ajar. Lup watches his chest struggle to rise and fall, his bruised and battered face leaning just enough to the left to look back at her. Both of his eyes are swollen to the size of the fist shaking at her side.

Angus tugs on her sleeve. When Lup looks down at him, his lower lip is quivering, and she is deathly afraid he’s going to break down again.

“Can we go in?”

Lup nods. “If you don’t want to-”

“No...n-no. I want to be with Uncle Barry. I don’t want you to be alone in there, either.”

Lup swallows back the hot lump in her throat and squeezes Angus’ hand. The two of them enter Barry’s room, their footsteps as light at a feather. Carefully, to avoid unwanted noise, Lup lifts up two chairs and positions them close enough to the bed so that Lup can hold her husband’s hand and Angus can lean his head down on the edge. By now, the sun has started to go down and bedtime doesn’t take a raincheck just because of a family tragedy.

After draping her jacket over her dozing nephew, Lup reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone. Her hands shake so badly it’s nearly impossible to hit the speed dial button.

Her phone starts to dial, and when her call is finally picked up, Lup croaks, “Taako...T-Taako, Barry was in an accident...I’m at the Northwestern hospital...please hurry.  _ Please _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, completely off topic, but I had to read "A Separate Peace" for school and my teacher specifically said the main two friends weren't gay but....in reality...it's like the gayest novel I've ever read in my life. Gayer than most fan fiction I've ever read/written.


	13. A Not-So-New Support Group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup plays the blame game. Taako takes a request. Angus goes home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update in less than twenty-four hours wooooOOOOOO BOY
> 
> This chapter is a bit shorter than the other ones. I'm still trying to get the pacing right for this "arc" so keep baring with me.
> 
> As always, thanks for the support! And WARNING: there is more talk about Barry's injuries as well as general hospital themes. Stay safe, y'all.

Not even ten minutes after Lup calls her brother, Taako appears in the doorway to Barry’s hospital room, still clad in his work apron and completely out of breath. His eyes lock with Lup, his gaze asking a thousand questions all at once but Lup only bites her lip and turns to Barry. Taako follows her, stepping into the room cautiously, as if simply approaching at his brother-in-law would cause him to disappear.

Lup hears her brother open his mouth to speak several times, his breathing hitched, before only managing to say, “How the  _ hell _ …?”

“They said someone ran a red light,” she mumbles. “Crossed right through the intersection as Barry was pulling in...h-his car was flipped over-”

Lup shuts her eyes tightly together, putting a hand over her face. God, she can only talk about what happened so many times before she won’t be able to take it any longer. Maybe she’ll just refuse to answer and let Barry’s medical papers do all the talking.

She feels Taako come up from behind and wrap his arms around her. It’s enough to send Lup into another spiral of tears. She cries out of anger, of remorse, regret. The last thing she ever said to Barry was...oh, what did she even say? Was it I love you? aIt has to have been. Because if it wasn’t that, then Lup wouldn’t know what to do with herself.

“He’s gonna be okay, though, right? Like...this looks bad but the docs said he’d be okay,  _ right? _ ”

Lup sniffs. “His medical records are over there somewhere…”

Taako slowly uncoils his arms from around her. “Okay. I-Is it okay if I...?”

Lup nods and as Taako reads over Barry’s extensive amount of injuries, she watches the last of his optimism fade away.

“Oh Jesus. Internal-no no nope. What...what even is...? Where’s...w-where’s his sternum?”

Lup taps the center of her chest twice. “H-Here.”

“Oh...oh, okay. Okay. H-How about...oh no, what...what even is this. Vocal...vocal cord…?”

The cherry on top of the massively painful sundae. “Paralysis. His...one of his vocal cords was damaged and...they said it was cutting off his breathing, so they had to put that tube in.”

Taako tries to fight back a grimace and fails. Silently, he sets the medical records down back where he found them and sighs deeply. “God, Lup. I...I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I should’ve been...I should’ve  _ been there _ .”

“There was nothing you could’ve done. He went out to get milk...and then half an hour later I got a call.”

Taako looks away from her, horrified. He moves towards Angus, who is leaning on the hospital bed as his pillow, and kneels down beside him. “H-How did you two get here? Did you call a cab or-?”

“We walked.”

“Walked?”

Lup nods once, twice, and then lets her head fall to her chest. “I’m sorry Taako. I shouldn’t have brought him here.”

Taako gaps. “W..what?”

“Angus,” she rasps. “He...when he saw Barry he went into a panic attack and it never occurred to me how’d he react and-this is all my fault-”

Her emotions overwhelm her and soon Lup is racking out sobs. Her thoughts are running rampant.  _ It’s all my fault. We didn’t need to make cookies. We didn’t need milk. I didn’t need to bring Angus. It’s all my fault- _

Taako grasps her arm, his finger nails poking her skin. “Lulu,  _ Lup _ . Look at me. Don’t you  _ dare _ play the blame game. You had no idea this would happen. I...I’m worried about Angus but I’m not mad at you for bringing here, okay? I’d rather he’d be with you than alone at the apartment.”

“But I _ knew _ -”

“But who gives a shit? Lup, don’t worry about that now. Just...worry about Barry and I’ll take care of everything else. I gotta call some friends of mine to come pick up Ango, but after that, I’m all yours. Tell me what you need Lup, and I’ll do it.”

Lup lifts up her head. The off-white of the room’s walls are too plain and stoic for her and she finds salvation by looking at Angus. There’s a small puddle of drool forming around his mouth and his curls have been disheveled by her hands, causing them to cascade over his face. He seems to peaceful, as if the events of the past hour never happened.

Then she looks to Taako. He’s still gripping her arm so when she does, he gives her a firm squeeze. He no longer looks as falsely assured as he was when he entered the room. Now he seems accepting, as if he’s already made peace with the situation. Orbiting his iris is a single spark of conviction, a sign to Lup that he’s sticking by her side through all of this.

Taako is her support team now.

“Go call your friends...then could you get me a cup of water?”

 

 

 

Lup finishes nursing the batter bottle Taako bought for her from the cafeteria downstairs right as his friends arrive to take Angus home. The two women stand outside of Barry’s hospital room patiently before they are let in by Taako. One of the women stands just about as tall as Lup, but far more slender. Her jet-black hair flows wildly and unkempt behind her shoulders. The other is far shorter and denser, with hair the color of autumn leaves.

“Hey Hurls. Sloane,” Taako greets them. The smile on his face is more of an impulse than anything else, barely stretching halfway across his face.

“We came as soon as we could,” the shorter woman says, her voice kind but affirmative. “Sorry we couldn’t get here sooner.”

“Don’t stress over it. You’re here now, aren’t ya?” Taako points out.

The taller woman steps closer to them and comes close enough to pat Angus in the back. She shifts her gaze to Barry and frowns. “I’ve been in my fair share of accidents...but none of them were ever this bad.” Then she turns to Lup and her gaze softens. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I’m Sloane.”

Sloane reaches out her hand. Lup stands out of her chair and sets her now empty water bottle aside to take it. Her grip is solid, sending Lup a strong message of encouragement that she needs now more than ever.

The shorter woman approaches them once they drop their hands and offers out her own. “And I’m Hurley. Taako’s told us so much about you.”

Lup shakes her hand, receiving the same message. “We’ll have to get together at a better time. Thank you for coming.”

“Don’t mention it,” Hurley smiles. “We’ll take a raincheck on that proper introduction.” She turns to Taako. “Ango doesn’t need a booster seat anymore right?”

“No, he’s a big boy now,” Taako informs her. “Before I know it, he’ll be flying out of my coop.”

“Okay, we’ll take it out then.”

“You both have your spare key, right?” Taako asks.

As if on cue, Sloane pulls out a ring of keys and points to a pink one with a dozen chips on it. “Like you even need to ask.”

Taako chuckles weakly. “Yeah you’re right. Can you two make sure Ango gets some dinner in him before he goes to bed? Also, make him brush his teeth. He has a dentist appointment coming up next week.”

“We’ll take care of all that,” Hurley assures him. “Do you want us to wake him up or carry him out?”

“I’ll carry him,” Taako declares. He picks Lup’s jacket up and places it on the edge of the bed before delicately scooping up Angus’ in his arms. The poor kid doesn’t even stir. “You two parked out front?”

“Yep.”

“Alright then.” Taako looks to Lup. “We’ll be right back, okay?”

Lup nods, but just as the four of them walk out, she remembers something. “Wait!”

They all freeze in their place. “What’s wrong?” Taako asks.

“There’s...there’s a plate of snickerdoodles sitting on the counter. If you could...maybe put those away…?”

Taako’s face falls, but Hurley and Sloane smile sympathetically. “We’ll take care of it,” Sloane tells her.

“Hang in there, Lup,” Hurley says. Then the four of them are gone.

 

 

 

Lup sits back down in her chair, slipping back on her jacket as she does. Another uncanny element to hospitals are how chilly they are. There are goosebumps trailing up her arms and legs, causing her hairs to stand on end. Maybe the reason for it is to socker her body and keep her awake for as long as possible.

Not that Lup was going to be catching any sleep that night anyway. Or the nights to follow.

What troubles could possibly follow her after this? Is there anything worse that can happen to her now? She was reunited with her brother only to have her husband taken away from her.

Well, Barry is still here, but his vocal cords were going to need surgery if he ever wanted to breathe on his own again. With surgery, there are always risks. Even simple procedures such as removing someone’s tonsils can go wrong.

There’s a stray piece of hair that has fallen over Barry’s eyes. Lup smoothes it back into place. It’s the only thing she can do to help him now. All she can really do is wait and believe that he has the strength to fight through the many steps of recovery.

Before he can do any of that, he needs to wake up.

The doctor told her it could take several days for Barry to regain consciousness due to his coma. After all, half of the damage caused to him in the crash was to his neck and head. Other items on his medical records include a case of whiplash and a linear skull fracture. It’s not as if Lup can just tap Barry on the shoulder and suddenly, he will be up and at ‘em again.

It’s going to take time for Barry to be back to his original health. A long, unbearable amount of time.

Lup just hopes Barry wakes up in time before any decisions about surgeries are made. The two of them have always worked well through problems, bouncing ideas and various scenarios off of each other.

Without him, Lup’s not sure if she’ll make the right choice. His life could be in her hands and the burden may be too much to bare alone.

Except Lup’s forgetting that she’s not alone. The hand on her shoulder reminds her of that and when she looks up, Taako is by her side again.

She has her brother, just as she did when it was just the two of them. They fought on the world together hand-in-hand, never once leaving the other one behind until that fateful day thirteen year ago.

Now they are united once again and Lup knows she can make it as long as he is with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlREf5ux0DQ : This fan song is so good I'm crying


	14. Operating on Worst-Case Scenerios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup stands. Taako makes a decree. Magnus is rash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe Bureau of Badass is ending this Friday. My favorite TAZ fic ever, ending just like the Balance Arc. I feel bittersweet about it honestly.
> 
> ((check that fic out if you haven't yet. It's absolutely amazing))
> 
> Same warnings as the previous chapter: hospital themes and whatnot. This time, there is mention of surgery so brace yourselves for that. Keep staying safe <3

“That crazy son of a bitch,” Taako mutters under his breath, his eyes shooting daggers at his phone screen.

The brush at the end of Lup’s nail polish cap freezes in midair as she looks over at her brother. “Who’s the crazy son of a bitch?”

Taako shakes his head, caught in disbelief. “ _Mags_ .” He tucks his phone away with an agitated sigh. “The dummy dropped everything the moment I told him what happened and now he’s at the airport trying to get a ticket over here. Except the airports in Lynchburg are _shut down_ due to weather and now he’s stuck there.”

Lup shrugs, returning back to her task at hand. “Probably for the best. Don’t want anyone flying around in the sky with no visibility.” She dips the brush into the polish and drapes the access off around the rim of the bottle. Once she as an appropriate amount applied, she takes the brush and continues painting Barry’s finger nails. It’ll be a nice surprise for when he wakes up, especially since she is using his favorite color, Carolina blue. She plans on asking Taako to paint her own once she’s finished.

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure he’s gonna try and make a break for it. Get back in his car and drive to another closed airport because he’s a big friggin’ dummy,” Taako mutters.

Lup smiles softly. “Aww, look at you. Worrying about your brother.”

“Shut up. I’m not his babysitter. I just know Julia will kill him if he dies before he turns forty.” He sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair. “Everytime I think he’s finally grown out of his reckless phase…”

A silence passes between them, the soft ticking from the mounted wall clock the only noise to disturb them. Lup finishes up with Barry’s right hand and caps her polish. Taking her chair, she moves to the other side of his hospital bed and starts working on his five remaining fingers. Most of her strokes are smooth, but there are a few clumps of polish pooling around his cuticles. Oh well. She can ask Taako to get her some nail polish remover and she can start over.

Seems like she will have plenty of time to start over until she makes the perfect coat.

A full day has barely passed since the accident and Lup can already feel herself going crazy. She has combed Barry’s hair a thousand times, smoothed out the creases in his sheets, and read every magazine in the stack in the corner of the room front to back. Of course not all of her time was wasted expelling all of her nervous energy; she called her boss and was given another week of “vacation” with full pay, which was certainly going to come in handy once the medical bills started rolling in.

When she had called Barry’s boss Istus, the poor lady had started crying and it made Lup feel sick.

She has to get used to receiving pity now, no matter how painfully it makes her stomach churn. A small part of her is still denying any of this happened. Barry and her are spending Candlenights in Lynchburg, in their home, and the two of them are happy. There was never a road trip, they never baked cookies with Angus, and there is plenty of milk in their fridge.

But no, all of that did happen, and to add insult to injury, the milk they have back at home is probably spoiled by now.

Minutes pass by so agonizingly slow, it’s a wonder how time is even moving at all. The ticking from the wall clock is driving Lup into insanity. It’s too much. She needs a sound, _any_ sound to replace it.

“Taako?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me about something.”

Taako sits up in his chair. “What do you wanna know?”

“I don’t know. Anything...tell me about you as a teen.”

A mischievous glint catches in Taako’s eye. “Oh my dear sister, I was a _riot_ as a teen.”

“Pray tell?”

“Okay _first off_ , cha’ boy was obsessed with all the good bands. _Fall Out Boy? My CHemical Romance? Panic! At the Disco?_ Full blast twenty-four sev.”

“I can’t believe my brother used to me an emo.”

“Oh it get’s better,” Taako grins. “I was also _quite_ the boy magnet during my junior and senior years. I dated _all_ the hot guys. Derek Godfrey, Jason Steffan, Lewis Abernathy, Brock Anderson-”

Taako goes off on his teenage-love tangent and Lup eases into his words. Her brother goes on to describe a few of his most eventful dates (even the one time he and Gregory Thompson got stuck at the top of a ferris wheel. “It was very romantic, Lulu. But I had to pee really bad the entire time. We were up there for an _hour_.”) Then he distracts himself about how he used to dress up everyday. With each item Taako adds to his list, the rest of the world’s issues slip away from Lup’s subconscious.

Until there’s a gentle knock from outside and the doctor who walked Lup up to Barry’s room pokes their head in. “Excuse me, Mrs. Bluejeans? If I may have a word with you?”

The weight of the world falls back on Lup’s shoulders. Oh well, good things can only last for so long anyway. She looks away from the doctor as she tucks away her nail polish. “You can come in here, doc. Anything you say to me, my brother can here.”

The doctor nods, somewhat sheepishly, before stepping inside. They close the door closed softly behind them. Lup stands up to face them better, her hands already clenched into fists.

“Oh, uh,” the doctor stammers, “are you sure you don’t want to sit down?”

“I’m sure.”

The doctor nods. “Right. Well, I’m Dr. Cam. I’ll be looking after your husband during his stay here at Northwestern. Now, I need to discuss some issues with you involving his recovery.”

“Hit me.”

“As you know, he has been diagnosed with vocal cord paralysis. Do you need me to explain to you what that is?”

Lup swallows back a hot lump in her throat. “His vocal cords got messed up in the wreck.”

“Well, luckily for Barry, it’s only the one cord. His right one, to be exact. You see, the cord was damaged in such a way that it’s been moved away the other one, blocking his airway. We’ve managed to insert a breathing tube between the two, but if he wants a full recovery...he’s going to need surgery.”

There it is. The exact word Lup didn’t want to hear. She takes a deep breath, her legs wobbling. “Okay. W-What kind of surgery does he need?”

“Typically, patients with this kind of paralysis undergo a bulk injection,” Cam informs her. “But due to the severity of your husband’s vocal cords, they need to be fully repositioned.”

The room starts to blur around the edges of Lup’s eyes. “S-So you gotta...gotta cut open  his...and then move…?”

Cam’s eyes widen with fright. “Ma’am? Are you feeling alright?”

From behind her, Lup hears Taako scoot his chair back and a moment later his hands are on her shoulders.  “Lup? Hey, how about we sit down now okay?”

Lup shakes her head. “N-No. I’m fine. I fine,” she swears before locking eyes with Cam. “Will it save his life.”

Cam nods. “Yes.”

“Is it my only option?”

Cam nods again.

Lup takes another deep breath, this one longer than the last one. “When will the procedure be?”

“The other surgeons and I will need time to prep him for surgery...but we’ll need to do it as soon as later today.”

Hours. Lup has hours left now to spend with Barry before he’s wheeled away. All of the worst-case scenarios play out in her head, all of them ending with her being a widow. Her heartrate skyrockets, her eyes water. It’s not enough time. It’s not. She wants more. She _needs_ more.

But Barry can’t breathe on his own. He won’t survive if he doesn’t get the surgery he needs. This outcome is not only inevitable, but unavoidable.

If Barry dies, he dies, and there is no other way around it.

Powerless, Lup utters the only word she can. “Okay.”

Cam then explain how the procedure will work, what will be cut and what will be moved, before giving her a relative time frame for how long it will take. Then after leaving behind some paperwork, Cam leaves the room.

Lup collapses into her chair immediately.

She ducks her head between her knees as Taako kneels down beside her. Her stomach is burning and bile is rising up in her throat. God, she really is sick this time. Her body can’t handle the stress.

“Lup? Lup hang on, let me find you a trashcan,” Taako tells her as he stands up. A moment later, Lup is looking down into a tiny plastic wastebasket.

When she finally throws up, Taako manages to pull her hair back just in time before she upchucks whatever she ate for breakfast that morning. He even grabs her her refilled water bottle, which she uses to wash out her mouth.

Lup’s hands are shaking too much to screw the cap back on. “Taako, Barry’s gonna die.”

“Don’t say that,” Taako scolds her. He takes her water bottle away from her and puts the lid back on before setting it aside.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Lup sneers, to her horror. The last thing she needs to be now is hysterical but there’s nothing she can do about it. “Just look at him, Taako. _Look at him_.”

“I see him, Lup. I see him and I know he’s bad off but you can’t say things like that.”

“And if he does die?”

“Jesus, Lup. You don’t know what’s gonna happen-”

“ _Exactly_. And neither do you,” she snaps.

Taako frowns at her. “Listen, if you wanna tell yourself he’s a dead man walking, go right ahead. But it’s not healthy and it's not doing your man any favors. How’s he gonna feel when you tell him you thought he wasn’t going to make it?”

Lup stares down into her lap, clasping her hands together tightly. “How am _I_ going to feel when the news tears me down later?”

Taako sighs and kneels back down beside Lup, who refuses to look at him. “Hey...I know you're scared. I am, too. Just _please_...don’t turn him away already. Barry still needs you. He’s not just dust in the wind, sis.”

“I know that, Taako. I know. It’s just...God, I feel like I did when I lost you. It’s like I’m having deja vu or something.” She laughs, despite herself. “Y-You’re even sitting down beside me again, trying to calm me down.”

Taako covers her hands with one of his own. “This isn’t like that at all.”

“It _is_ , Taako.”

“Only if you make it seem like it is.”

“If he leaves me, Taako...if Barry _dies_ , he’s not going to come back like you did. He’ll go and I’ll be left behind. I’ll be alone again.”

Suddenly, Taako’s other hand is tilting her head up, forcing her to face him. “You’re _never_ going to be alone, Lup. Never, ever again. So don’t you _dare say that_.”

The hysteria loses its hold on Lup and the dark thoughts piling up in her mind are driven back. She is barely given any time to ready herself for the sob that comes bursting out of her, slamming into her like an emotional dump truck. Taako throws his arms around her and she does the same to him.

He’s right. He’s so, so right. She will never be alone. Never. She has a new family now, one that will step in to help her fill the void that would be left if Barry doesn’t make it. All of them will be at her side in a moment’s notice. Merle, Hekuba, Mavis, Mooky, Magnus, Carey, Killian, Kravitz, Taako, Angus.

She will never be alone. She doesn’t have to fight on her own any longer.

 

 

 

Lup spends her last hours with Barry telling Taako about how they met and the several steps that led to them ending up back in lynchburg together. Even as emotionally exhausted as she is, she still laughs when she tells him about the time Barry told her he sleeps in a pair of “sleepjeans” and how it almost caused them to break up.

She feels herself grow nostalgic when she gets around to their wedding, the duet they played together for their guests ringing in her ears. Barry’s hands had glided across the piano so magnificently, it was as if he had built it himself. Lup had swayed with each bow stroke she made on her violin, losing herself in the melody and the love she felt for her husband in that exact moment.

The kiss they shared afterwards set off fireworks in her chest. It was a moment she would never forget.

Then, at 6:43, Cam knocks on the door again. This time, there are two surgeons fully prepped standing beside him. As Lup and Taako stand off to the side, they start unhooking Barry from the equipment attached to him and hook him up to a portable air prompressure. One of the surgeons holds the door open for the other two as they wheel Barry out of the room and then down the hall.

Lup follows them, Taako right on her heels, before stopping right outside the doors to the operating room. The sign above the door flashes on, signaling that the surgery has just begun.

Now there’s nothing left for Lup to do but wait.

 

 

 

At 7:05, Taako’s phone starts playing a _Dave Matthew's Band_ song, the title of which Lup can’t seem to recall, and he quickly fishes it out of his pocket to silence it. His fingers diligently type away on the keypad for a few minutes before he tucks it away again.

“Magnus is on a plane to Chicago. The storm cleared out and they’re letting flights through now.”

Lup nods, just to enough so her brother can acknowledge that she’s listening. There is no real way to describe how she feels right now. Tired mostly. Maybe even sleepy.

 

 

 

It’s 7:13 and Lup finds herself yawning.

Taako must notice that she does because he asks, “Do you want me to go grab you a blanket from his room?”

She shakes her head no. If she was given a blanket, then she would definitely fall asleep right where she is. The surgery shouldn't take too much longer. She can wait it out.

 

 

 

7:27 rolls around and Lup is alert again. She’s pacing back and forth, back and forth, a hand rubbing her chin. It’s been over thirty minutes. Surely the surgeons would be finished with Barry now. At least that's what Cam said.

The clock strikes 7:35 and Lup is _scared_.

Her anxiety spikes dramatically. Something must have happened. Something did happen. She’s sure of it.

She readies herself for the worst, but Taako’s presence keeps her grounded.

 

 

 

Finally, at 7:41, nearly an hour later, Cam walks out of the operating room right as the sign above it goes dark. He looks a bit drained, the cap sitting on top of his head looking like it’s about to fall onto the floor. But when he sees Lup, he smiles.

“How is he?” Lup rasps, her voice weak from being dormant for so long.

“Your husband is going to be just fine,” Cam reassures her. “The surgery went perfectly and he can breathe on his own again.”

Lup is already crying tears of joy before Cam can even finish his sentence. A massive wave of relief crashes into her. The only coherent thought in her brain now is, _He’s okay he’s okay he’s okay_. Taako pulls her into another hug, the grin on his face so wide it could swallow up the sun.

“He’s still going to have difficulty speaking when he wakes up, not to mention the rest of his body needs to undergo extensive recovery before he’s ready to leave here, but he will recover.”

Lup untangles herself from Taako and takes Cam’s hand to shake it. “Thank you. Thank you _so much_ ,” she says through tears.

Cam beams. “No thanks necessary. Happy endings like this are exactly the reason why I became a doctor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See y'all? Happy endings for all.
> 
> This fic's still not over yet! I'm honestly not sure how many chapters there will be left but it's definitely going to be longer than Six Years, even thought I didn't think it would be. It's kind of exciting. Or at least I'm excited!
> 
> And as always, thank you all for reading and for being so supportive!!!


	15. Another Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup greets a few familiar faces. Taako worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the weekend, which means it's time to procrastinate about homework and symphony practice and write nearly 4,000 words for this fic instead! Yay!
> 
> I'm debating on whether or not to post this series on my abandoned tumblr account or not. Maybe y'all could just spread the word for me??? bc I'm pretty sure I never actually wrote my password down...
> 
> Also WARNINGS: Still keeping up with those hospital themes and such, and Angus' panic attack is mentioned from before. Also, there is reference to Julia's death in Six Years.
> 
> And one final note, this fic is officially longer than Six Years! By 2,000 words currently and there are still several more chapters to come. I'm not sure on an exact number but a good handful of content is currently in the works.

After wallowing in the same fourteen-by-fifteen feet room for over thirty-six hours, Lup’s aching joints are thankful for the walk down to the bottom floor to go meet Magnus. 

Taako and her pile into an elevator, the air inside the compacted space stale but oddly relieving to Lup’s dull senses. She hasn’t gotten a full-night's rest in so long her body has gone on autopilot. Every action her brain tells her to do is already in motion before she even realizes she’s doing it. As they descent, she is lulled into a quick sixty second power nap and then immediately pulled back out of it once they reach the bottom floor.

Her step-brother (well, technically just her friend but she  _ is _ related to Taako after all) is waiting for them in the main lobby, pacing around like a caged animal. With the several added layers from his winter getup, it appears as if the receptionist let in the abominable snowman. The chunks of snow sticking to his sideburns only add to the effect. A few of the other people sitting around Magnus are giving him odd looks, pulling their children closer to them and waiting with bated breath for what he might do.

Luckily, Magnus dismisses all of their negative assumptions the moment he sees Lup and Taako walk into the room. The man gasps loudly, tears already in his eyes as he runs over to them. Before Lup knows what’s happening, she has two arms of steel wrapped around her torso, lifting her up high into the air.

“I’m so sorry Lup. I’m  _ so _ sorry,” Magnus mumbles into her shoulder, his voice cracking at least seven different times.

“It’s okay Magnus. He’s okay.” Lup wiggles an arm out to pat Magnus’ back. “He’s gonna be alright. Thank you for coming.”

Magnus sets her back down gently, bits of the snow from his sideburns now on Lup’s clothing. He’s wringing his hands together, his eyes darting around the lobby as if something is going to jump out and assault them. “I, uh...I know how hard this must be for you, so I wanted to get here as soon as I possibly could. Sorry I’m late.”

“You’re not late for anything, dumbo,” Taako snaps, but his words are all bark. “Would it kill you not to drive out to the airport in the middle of a snow storm next time?! Plus, Avi’s gonna be pissed at you for dropping your shift on him.”

“No he won’t,” Magnus replies.

Taako sighs. “No, he won’t. You’re right. Guy’s a big sweetheart...just like you.”

Magnus lays a gigantic paw on his brother’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for making you worry.”

Taako’s gaze softens and a ghost of a smile stretches across his lips. “Are you okay here? Ango’s home with Sloane and Hurley if you wanna get away.”

Magnus pulls his hand away, pulling it behind his head and scratching it rather nervously. “Nah...I-I’m good.”

Lup catches on her twin’s suspicion and arches her eyebrows along with him.

“Really, I’m  _ fine _ . Is…,” Magnus hesitates. He turns to Lup and asks in a delicate voice, “Is it okay if I go up and see Barry?”

Lup nods, smiling softly. “Of course you can. He’s...he hasn’t woken up set so you won’t be able to talk to him.”

“Didn’t the doctors say they can still hear you even if they’re unconscious?” Magnus asks. “That’s what they always told me.”

Lup can’t help it. She snorts, and it’s the first time she’s laughed in what feels like a century. “You mean the ones on  _ Grey’s Anatomy? _ ”

Taako shoots her a panicked look and Lup realizes too late what mistake she’s just made.

Magnus’ expression darkens, the air around him turning melancholy. “No.”

She knows better. Lup knows she does. Taako told her a long time ago what happened with Julia. She’s in the same position Magnus was with his late wife, and here she is cracking jokes under the influence of ignorance and fatigue. “Magnus, I’m-”

“Hey, it’s alright,” he stops her. The genuine lopsided smile on his face makes Lup’s heart ache. “You already have enough on your plate. Don’t start worrying over me now.”

Lup nods again. “Right. Well...I know Barry will want to hear all about your flight over here. And you better not leave out a single detail.”

 

 

 

Barry still looks just as miserable and incapacitated as he did before Lup and Taako left the room, and for a split second, Lup expects him to be back up on his feet the moment she walks into his room.

But no, nothing has changed and her fantasy slips through the cracks between her fingers too quickly for her to grasp it back.

Sunlight is poking through the blinds positioned on the wall opposite of the entrance, radiating Barry’s body as if he’s been touched by an angel. The only shadows covering him up are caused by the loose hairs on his head and Magnus’ towering form.

“God he...h-he…” Magnus stutters. His distress is palpable, to the point where Lup suffocates from it. He cares so much about her husband, even if they met only a few months ago. Then Magnus breaks into a wobbly grin. “Y-You’ve certainly looked better, Barry. But h-hey, I’m really lovin’ that nail polish. Good taste there.”

Lup smirks. “That was me. Think he’ll like it?”

Magnus turns to her. “Oh yeah, definitely. It’s the color of his bluejeans! He’s gonna go nuts over it.”

They all take seats around Barry, engrossing themselves in various topics over conversations. Magnus makes sure to tell Barry all about his trip, which takes over an hour because he  _ literally _ doesn’t leave out a single detail (Lup knows more about airline bathrooms now than she would have ever liked to).

Then Magnus goes off about his life back in Lynchburg. Apparently, Avi and him have been saving up a portion of their salaries for the past year and plan on opening their own carpentry/welding shop in a few months (if they’re lucky).

“You’re doing WHAT?!” Taako gasps, nearly falling out of his chair. “W-When were you gonna tell me?!”

Magnus chuckles. “I don’t know. We really didn’t really want to get our hopes up until we found a reasonable location. Also, Boyland doesn’t pay us enough for all the work we do for him so it’s taken some time to get all our little financing ducks in a row.”

To Lup’s amusement, Magnus forms his hands into two beaks and starts making duck noises.

“So you’re good to go then?” Taako inquires. “Like, did you buy a place yet or are you about to-?”

“Oh no, we bought a shop downtown already.”

Taako blinks once before his eyes try to pop out of his skull. “O...kay…”

“It’s funny actually. You two remember that old barber shop near the Domino’s pizza?” Magnus asks.

“Don’t tell me-” Taako shakes his head. “Magnus did you buy the barber shop? The one that I’m pretty sure was shut down for asbestos?”

“Yep!”

Taako puts his head in his hands.

“But we cleaned all that stuff out, so don’t worry.”

“You called a professional to do it for you, I hope?” Taako mumbles through his hands.

“Yes, _ mom _ . Avi and I didn’t set foot in that store until it was all cleaned out,” Magnus smirks, rolling his eyes.

Taako jumps in his seat. “Hey! Don’t blame me for actually being a good brother and looking out for you!” He crosses his arms and pouts, shooting Lup a deathly stare when he catches her grinning. “Shut up.”

Lup just laughs. “Well, good for you Mags. I’m proud of you...Taako’s proud of you, too.”

Magnus nods. “I know.”

“No Lup! You’re ruining my rep! How could you?!” Taako whines.

They both start asking Magnus more about his shop, what products he plans on selling, when it should be open, etc. Halfway through the conversation, Taako’s phone starts ringing and he steps outside for a few minutes. In the meantime, Lup finds out that Magnus plans on promoting his new shop by handing out carved ducks at the local flea market, which is fucking adorable in her opinion.

She also finds out that Avi is hardcore crushing on this college student named Johann who mistook Boyland’s shop as an instrument repair store. Apparently, Johann keep coming in every day pretending to buy something just to talk to him. God, it’s so cute. Lup is  _ definitely _ going to get down to the bottom of this.

Just as Magnus starts talking about his ideas for what their new shop should be called, Taako comes back into the room and takes his seat. There’s a deep crease between his eyebrows that unsettles Lup, to the point that she starts getting pins and needles in her chest.

“Taako? Everything alright?” she asks.

Taako glances at her nervously, his lips pulled back into a thin line. “Yes...and no.”

“How so?” Magnus questions.

“Well, no one’s hurt, thank God. But...Hurley and Sloane got an emergency order in for a large assortment of bouquets and they have to bring Angus back here.”

Lup purses her own lips, her mind flashing back to the events of the previous day and a half. “Hmmmmmm. That’s...maybe not the best thing for the little guy.”

Magnus doesn’t seem to need an explanation for the twin’s reaction. Without skipping a beat, he suggests, “I can go back to the apartment and stay with him if you want.”

Taako just frowns. “The problem is Angus  _ wants _ to come over. He...apparently almost went into a fit over it with Sloane. Ango’s coming whether we think it’s best for him or not.”

Lup has to force herself not to swear upon hearing that to avoid being thought of the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with Angus wanting to come back to the hospital...but there is at the same time. In reality, Lup wants to see Angus and make sure he’s doing alright. They haven’t really been given a chance to speak with each other about the incident that took place in the office just down the hall.

But it would kill her to have to see Angus so distraught all over again. It would hurt Taako even more.

There’s no changing it now, though. Hurley and Sloane are already on their way other with little Ango in tow. 

Taako turns to look at her. The look on his face is that of a man trapped between a rock and a hard place. “You...gonna be okay with that?”

“I’m not concerned about what you're implying anymore,” Lup assures him. “I’m just worried about Angus, that’s all.”

 

 

 

Hurley and Sloane depart from the hospital with a few rushed apologies just as quickly as they arrive, leaving a half-dressed Angus with a book bag filled with various items behind.

The kid has a worn periwinkle sweater covering up the top half of his  _ Kirby _ pajamas, while his fleece pants decorated with the same beloved franchise character are in full view. His tennis shoes are matching while his socks are not, both coming from two respectively different pairs. One is plain white while the other is covered in purple polka dots.

“Ango!” Magnus exclaims the moment he sees his nephew. The added weight and size of Angus’ book bag keeps him from scooping up the kid but he does still manage to give him a sizable bear hug.

“Hi Uncle Magnus!” Angus smiles, hugging him back. Lup tries to use her secret ESP to will Angus to stay this happy for the rest of his stay at the hospital, but unfortunately she soon discovers that she does not, in fact, have secret ESP. The moment Angus is released, he looks up at Taako and scowls. “You told Hurley and Sloane not to bring me here.”

Taako puts on what Lup can only assume is his “dad face.” Knit eyebrows, a stern gaze, steel jaw. Lup feels intimidated just looking at him. “They also told me you were real nasty to them when they told you no.”

Angus’ face softens, his eyes drifting down to the floor. “I didn’t mean to get so mean. I just…” he looks back up, “I really wanted to come over and see you all.”

Taako loses his demeanor as well, sighing deeply. “Pumpkin, I don’t know if this was such a good idea. I don’t want you to have another attack like that.”

“I’ll be okay, dad,” Angus reassures him. Taako raises a brow high into the air. “Really, I’ll be fine.”

“M’kay...but you better say something if you start feeling anxious, capiche?”

“I will,” Angus says before throwing himself around his dad. Taako returns the embrace immediately, holding his child close to him, as if letting Angus go would cause him to vanish into thin air.

Lup feels a familiar warmth settle into her chest.

When Taako finally does let Angus go, it’s Lup’s turn to greet her nephew. She musters a smile onto her face, hoping it will mask her uncertainty. “Hey Ango.”

“Uh, hi Aunt Lup...” Angus replies. The two of them are caught in a pregnant pause as whatever else he wishes to say gets caught on his tongue.

Lup knows she doesn’t need to prod too hard to figure out what he’s holding back. “What'cha’ got in your backpack, sweetie?”

“Oh, well,” Angus fiddles with the straps of his pack nervously. “I bought my set of _ Caleb Cleveland _ novels! I was...I thought maybe...I could read them to Uncle Barry…?”

That warmth in Lup’s chest spreads to her heart and melts it. She feels her emotions succumb to this small selfless act of this child in front her. A simple act of kindness piercing through all the doom and gloom. It means so much more than a request, an invitation to cross into the threshold she’s tied to her husband.

She feels her eyes start to water. “You’ll have to start with the first one. The poor guy always said he was gonna read them but just never finds the time to. You’re doing him a huge favor, Ango.”

Angus’ eyes light up, their shine holding more beauty and radiance than the natural sunlight. He smiles widely, already shrugging off his book bag to pull out the first  _ Caleb Cleveland _ novel. “I also bought the movie adaptations in case he wanted to watch those when he wakes up. Oh! And I have some action figures, too! If...if any of you want to play with them with me.”

Lup smiles. “I know I’d love to, Ango. How about you read a little bit first?”

Ango agrees. There aren’t enough chairs in the hospital room, but Taako is perfectly comfortable with having Angus just sit on his lap as he begins the opening prologue of the first book in his favorite series.

“ _ Prologue: The World’s Best Detective _ . You’re going to love this, Uncle Barry. Trust me. Ahem….When people, mainly adults, first saw Caleb Cleveland running around in his detective hat and magnifying glass, they always assumed he was just a little boy playing make-believe. What those people didn’t realize was that Caleb Cleveland was their world’s greatest detective, and he was going to solve the biggest mysteries the world had to offer.

“But Caleb wasn’t born a great detective right off the bat. Our story begins on in a quiet little neighborhood in the heart of Neverwinter, Faerun, where a mysterious figure placed a small woven basket on the doorstep of a local orphanage…”

 

 

 

 “ _Chapter Seven: The Clue Found on Baker Street_ ,” Lup read aloud as she flipped to the next page in Angus’ book. The poor kid had gone on for five chapter straight before his voice had grown raspy and would have gone on for more if Taako hadn’t stopped him. Lup was more than happy to take up the mantel and continue the story for him. After all, the story was just started to get interesting. Caleb had just befriending too oddballs at his new school and had just learned about the notorious villain, Dr. Kelvin Luthermort.

“Caleb knew it was risky sneaking out of The McElliot Boarding School for Young Children so late at night, but his gut was telling him his next big break was far outside the boundaries of school. His friend Don seemed hesitant to sneak out but Permione was more than eager to go.”

From the corner of her eye, Lup sees Angus try and stifle a yawn behind his hand as he struggles to fight back his exhaustion. The day is starting to wind down; the sun has already begun retreating behind the cover of the skylines surrounding the hospital building. Taako has his eyes shut, his head dangling behind the back of the chair as he snores silently. Magnus is barely awake, fighting tooth and nail to stay conscious as Lup continues on with the story.

“In the end, it was their shared curiosity that convinced them all to go. They waited until the moon was high in the sky before forming a rope with their bed sheets and climbing down into the courtyard. The world seemed absolutely quiet, as if everyone on the face of the earth was sound asleep.

“However, Caleb knew that even the slightest noise would wake their headmaster, so they had to be extremely cautious-”

Suddenly, the beeping from Barry’s heart monitor picks up in rhythm, the sound shaking all four of them back awake. Taako jolts, causing Angus to nearly fall off of him, and Magnus just about leaps to his feet. They all hold their breath, waiting to see if Barry will join them for their late-night reading session.

Nothing happens and the beeping calmly returns back to its previous tempo.

All four of them sigh, Lup’s exhale the heaviest. It could be any day now, but it is starting to seem more likely that day will not be today.

Lup eases back into her chair and scans the page for where she left off. “Uh, lets. See. Yada yada yada...so...okay here. They had to be extremely cautious-”

The beeping starts to pick up again. This time, they all rise to their feet. Lup moves so she’s kneeling right beside Barry, holding his hand as his chest starts to rise and fall faster than it has in days. The muscles around his swollen eyes are twitching and the corners of his mouth are slowly,  _ slowly _ pulling themselves into a grimace.

Lup watches, wide-eyed and mouth agape as Barry, for the first time in nearly two days, opens his eyes and sluggishly stares back at her.

He mouths her name wordlessly, unable to form the correct sounds to say anything.

But Lup doesn’t care about now. Through tears, she cups Barry’s face with her hand and strokes his cheek. She smiles and in that single moment, she has never felt so grateful. “Barry...y-you gave me a fucking heart attack.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help it, I had to put some Johavi in here (Johann/Avi). It's my favorite rare-pair ship in the series and I've written like??? Two completed works about them and several unfinished ones.......
> 
> That little bit about Magnus and Avi owning a shop is foreshadowing for a POSSIBLE threequel (is that what they're called?). I can't guarantee it's gonna happen but this fic turned more into a Blupjeans narrative and I feel like I'm not really going to get the chance to explore Magnus' development since Six Years. We'll just have to wait and see. The last thing I need is to start another 40,000+ word project on top of moving, school work, and setting up a D&D campaign. But I really want to write it!!!!!
> 
> And as always, thank you all for reading!!!


	16. Wake Up and Smell the Chemicals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup answers some questions. Barry's a wreck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remi, Nadiya, and Irene are too good for this world. These new kids are going to be the death of me, I just know it.
> 
> It's time y'all I'm currently moving! Yesterday, I made a thousand trips back and forth to my new house with all my stuff. Updates are gonna take a little longer to put out but hopefully I'll be finished unloading stuff soon. ((And I have a thousand projects I need to turn in before the semester's over.....))
> 
> Thank you all for reading and being so nice and supportive as always!

The events that follow once Barry regains consciousness happen in such quick succession of each other that it takes Lup a while to fully process it all.

Cam and a hoard of doctors and nurses swarm the hospital room the second after Barry wakes up, making immediate notice to check his vital signs and keep him from trying to sit up too fast and hurt himself. The whole time he is surrounded, Barry seems panicked, confused. He keeps open his mouth and mouthing out whatever words he wishes to speak, still unaware he currently does not hold the capacity to say anything aloud.

Lup makes sure to give the doctors and nurses their space while they work but she keeps a firm hold on Barry’s hand to let him know she’s still close by. Through the connotation, she tries her best to keep him grounded and offer him comfort.

“It’s okay, babe. Just lay still. Don’t try to talk. I know you’re scared but hang on for just a minute longer.”

Her words seem effective and Barry stops thrashing around. One of the doctors has to untangle his arm from his IV but otherwise no other damage has been caused.

Then when the staff clears out, minus Cam, the extended family moves in. Magnus has two arms around Barry’s neck before anyone can stop him, unaware that the loss of his previous vocal abilities was not the only injury he sustained.

Lup has to pry Magnus off of her husband as he silently cries out in pain. “Mags, ease up on the hug! You’re gonna re-fracture his sternum bone.”

Magnus recoils instantly, his arms back at his sides at lightning speed. “Sorry! Oh geez, I’m so sorry Barry. I-I didn’t mean to! I’m just...so glad you’re okay, buddy.”

As Magnus is apologizing, Angus moves in and throws himself at Barry, forming a much smaller, lighter hug around the injured man. Barry’s face portrays a look of surprise before transitioning to concern as Angus starts weeping uncontrollably.

“I’m...I-I-I’m  _ s-so glad you’re okay _ , Unc-cle B-B-Barry. I’m s-s-so…” Angus’ words are drowned out by his sobs. He digs his face into Barry’s shoulder, trembling.

Barry looks up to Lup, his eyes holding a million questions, many she can’t answer right away.

Lup gives him a quick smile before making way for Taako, who pushes his way up to the bed and carefully pulls his son into his own arms. “He’s alright, bubbeleh. You’re right, he’s okay. He’s just fine.” He looks back to Barry and grins. “It’s nice to have ya back, Barold.”

Barry opens his mouth again, visibly becoming more distraught by the second. There’s a small, scraggly note, no higher than a G, that comes out before he winces and clutches his throat.

“Oh, please don’t try to speak, Mr. Bluejeans,” Cam warns.

_ What? Why? What? _ Barry mouths.

“Just calm down, sir. I’ll explain everything that happened to you, but I need you to  _ calm down _ .”

Lup decides that’s her cue and steps back in to take her husband’s hand. “It’s okay, babe. You’re safe. Just listen to the doc. I’m right here with you.”

Her words seem to be soothing enough for Barry to pull his hand away from his neck and ease into the bed below him. He takes one glance at Cam and nods firmly.

“Mr. Bluejeans, you were involved in an auto accident two days ago,” Cam informs him, just hitting the tip of the iceberg for the bad news to come. “You were brought here to Northwestern and placed in critical condition. The most notable injuries you sustained were two broken ribs, a fractured sternum bone, and temporary swelling of your brain, which landed you in a coma for nearly forty-eight hours.”

Barry’s eyes widen with each injury listen off. Cautiously, his eyes trail down his broken body to survey the damage. Lup notices how his cheeks start to turn a bit green.

“We also diagnosed you with vocal cord paralysis,” Cam continues.

Barry’s eyes are back on him in an instant.

“One of your vocal cords was damaged during impact and was moved apart from the other one, blocking your airway. When you were first brought to our emergency care, we were able to give you a breathing tube until we safely readjusted the vocal cord with a separate surgery. Now, your vocal cord wasn’t  _ removed _ during surgery. We were able to fixate it back in its original position, meaning, eventually, you will be able to speak again.”

There is a collective sigh shared with nearly everyone in the room, including Lup, who already knew this information. She also knows exactly what Cam is going to say next, and in the brief time she is granted, she readies herself for the fallout that will ensue.

“However...it is going to take some time before you will be able to fully communicate orally. The damage you sustained during the crash was fairly severe and....while you will talk again...you may never recover enough to speak the same way you did before.”

Barry’s confusion is written all over his face. He looks up at Lup, then back at Cam, and repeats that action again and again until Lup stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

_ What do you-? What? _

Cam’s own face twists in apprehension. It’s never easy being the bearer of bad news, just like it isn’t easy for Lup to be hearing all of this twice. But there is no way in hell she is going to leave Barry’s side.

“You’re going to have issues articulating your words, or forming the correct sounds for certain letters. It’s also possible your voice may have dropped an octave lower than your previous one, which will take some getting used to. I estimate it’ll take two to three weeks until you’re able to form a complete sentence...and it’ll take around that same amount of time before the pain of using your vocal cords goes away, too. It’s not going to be easy, sir...but you will recover. Therapy will help you with that.”

It’s a minor repercussion considering what could have happened to Barry during the car crash, but the look on his face makes it seem as if Cam just handed him a death sentence. The crazed, panic look is the one shared with a wild animal trapped in a cage in the middle of the wilderness. He’s frightened, uncertain, and on the verge of tears.

But he is not alone. Lup squeezes her husband’s hand and politely asks Cam, “Can you give us a minute? Please?”

“Oh! Right. Yes, of course,” Cam replies kindly. He steps out quietly, shutting the door softly behind him.

Lup turns to Magnus and Taako, who is still cradling a weepy-looking Angus in his arms. “You guys don’t mind stepping out for a sec, do you?”

“Course not,” Magnus and Taako say almost simultaneously. Magnus flashes one last smile Barry’s way before exiting the room, leaving the door parted for Taako to make his exit behind him.

There’s a soft click as Taako finally shuts the door and a split second later, Barry has a hand over his eyes. His shoulders shake with silent sobs as he gasps for breath, what little of his composure was left completely shattered.

“Oh babe. Hey, babe,  _ babe _ ,” Lup pleads. She sits down on the edge of the bed and gently wraps her other hand around his wrist. “Barry, look at me.”

Barry shakes his head. His lips are quivering as he tries to mouth to her pleas of his own. A small yelp escapes him as a rather large sob hits, a flood of tears raining down his face. There is a thick trickle of snot starting to come out of his nose, but Barry hardly seems to notice it.

Lup feels tears of her own start to well up in her eyes. This sucks. This fucking sucks. Somehow, it hurts more to watch Barry, awake and alive, suffering like this than it was when he was still unconscious. Just like before, there is nothing Lup can do. She can’t just snap her fingers and heal him instantly. Or God, just calm him down and get him to stop crying. Take away all his fears and make him feel safe again.

Options limited, Lup confides herself to simply grabbing Barry a tissue off of the side table. She takes a couple sheets and folds them up into tiny squares, but stops when she sees Barry’s glasses sitting just a couple of inches away. The pair he was wearing during the crash were broken beyond repair, tossed from the vehicle and landing twenty yards down the street. However, the extra pair in the glovebox of his  _ Equinox _ were left unscathed.

“Barry, do you want your glasses?”

Barry stills. He lifts his hand about a centimeter off of his face and turns to her, nodding.

“Okay hon.” Lup passes Barry the folded-up tissues and retrieves his glasses as he blows his nose. Once he puts the tissues down, Lup sits back on the bed and carefully slides barry’s glasses onto the bridge of his nose. His eyes start blinking rapidly, widening in relief. “That better?”

“Y-” Barry attempts to speak, but is cut off almost immediately. His disappointment is easily felt by Lup, who wipes away the new tears that start sliding down his cheeks. “Y-Y-”

“Shh, shh. Don’t speak. You heard the doc, Bar. I know it sucks but I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore, okay?”

Barry shakes his head. “N-No-o-”

“ _ Shhhhhh _ ...Barry please. Don’t speak,  _ please _ .” Lup looks around the room, desperate to find any means to communicate that doesn’t include any more straining of a certain someone’s vocal cords. The medical papers are next to the tissue box but there’s no writing utensil in sight. Then the weight in Lup’s pocket starts to grow heavier. She whips out her phone and opens the notes application. “Here. Here here here. Type it all out, babe. Just don’t talk.”

Barry takes her phone with shaking hands. There’s a noticeable loss of dexterity to his fingers, but Lup decides to blame that on two days of bedrest and no movement. When Barry finishes typing out his message, he hands the phone back to Lup, who navigates her way through what seems like an endless sea of typos.

**im srry i kno i mustvscard you alll i love you s much loop**

Lup chokes out a laugh. Damn autocorrect. Of course. “Don’t worry about that, babe. It’s not your fault. I love you, too.” She leans forward and kisses him chastely. His lips are salty from laying in his own sweat for two days, but Lup doesn’t care. She pulls away and whispers, “I love you  _ so much, Barry _ . I love you I love you  _ I love you _ .”

Barry tilts his head up and kisses Lup back with a passion that surprises her. It’s the only way he can possibly repeat that same declaration back to her. When they finally part, he reaches out towards the phone and Lup hands it back to him. A minute later, he hands her a new message.

**what re we gonna do we gotta work w gotta get the car fixd we gotto getback home**

Lup looks up from the screen. “It’s okay, I already called Istus and I already called my boss. We’re  _ fine _ .”

Barry raises a brow, waiting for more clarification. When Lup doesn’t offer any, he starts tapping the screen right above the word car.

Right. The  _ Equinox _ . The only one who did not survive the crash. “I...I don’t know, babe. I haven’t talked to the insurance company yet. We’ll...we’ll take care of that later. Don’t worry about it.”

The look on Barry’s face suggests he isn’t satisfied with the answer given to him, but it’s not like he can protest against it. He takes the phone from Lup one last time, taking a moment to think of what he wants to “say,” before handing it back to her.

**are you doing okay bc im really scared**

Lup must read the message three times before setting her phone down. This is a classic adult situation where she has to decide whether it’s better to tell the truth or to lie. The latter would be easy to succumb to, but this is  _ Barry _ . He’ll hear the truth in her words no matter what she says. She cups his cheeks in her hands, delicately cradling his face upwards so he can see her well.

“I...I’ve been better. But I’m better  _ now _ because you’re here with me.” She presses a long, gentle kiss to his forehead. “You’re gonna get through this, and I’m gonna be right by your side the entire time. But you’re allowed to be scared, so don’t try to act brave and brush everything off like I always do, okay?...Aww, don’t cry again, hon. It’s gonna be okay...”

 

 

 

While Lup is preoccupied with everything going on around her, the day quietly transitions to night. The sun tucks itself away on the other side of the planet and the moon makes its stunning debut for the rest of the world to see. As Lup goes to close the blinds in the hospital room, she can’t help but marvel at the constellations like she always does. Most of the common ones are covered up by the thin veil of the overcast sky, but she can still make a few of them out.

The blinds close with a soft  _ snap  _ and Lup immediately turns her attention back to her family behind her. Taako and Magnus have pulled up the chairs right next to Barry’s bed, each of them attentive but obviously fatigued. They all are, for the most part. It’s been one hell of a day after all.

Yet, hours ago, Angus was up and chattering away like a songbird. Lup’s nephew had sat himself down on Barry’s bed and started talking about whatever popped into his brain. He asked Barry if he had heard any of the  _ Caleb Cleveland _ chapters they had read to him, if he was interested in continuing the story, and most importantly how he was feeling. Barry had managed to keep up most of the conversation by simply nodding, but a couple of times, he had to borrow Lup’s phone to reply.

Watching the two of them had been bittersweet for Lup. It meant everything to her that Barry was fortunate enough to be talking to his nephew at all after all he’d been through. Only, he wasn’t really  _ talking _ and Lup could plainly see his frustration whenever Angus couldn’t understand whatever he was mouthing to him was.

She knows this is just the beginning. Barry has so many obstacles he needs to overcome and all she can do is stand by his side and wait. There’s nothing she can really do to be helpful, is there?

How did they end up on opposite sides of the table?

Hours later, it seems as if sleep has finally caught up to Angus. Half of his words are lost to his incessant yawning and Barry seems just as lost in the conversation as he is. It doesn’t take long for Angus to slowly sink into the hospital bed and curl up next to his uncle, his snores barely noticeable to the untrained ear.

“Welp, guess I better get this little squirt to bed,” Taako declares, his voice groggy. He eases out of his chair and smacks Magnus’ arm. “And this one, too.”

“’m not a squirt,” Magnus mumbles, rubbing at his eyes. “‘M old’r than you.”

“By, like, a year or two. Nobody’s keeping track, Mags.”

“It’s three,” Magnus corrects him as he stand out of his own chair. Regardless of who’s older, both brothers fail to stifle the yawns that come out of them. “God damn, what time is it?”

“Way too fucking late,” Lup answers vaguely. She can feel her own tiredness seeping into her bones, pulling her down. Angus’ space on the bed is calling her name and Lup knows the moment the kid is gone, she’s taking it.

For the second time that day, Taako scoops his son up into his arms, hoisting Angus up so that his head rests on his shoulder. “You gonna be okay if we head home for tonight?” he asks her.

Lup sneaks a glance at Barry before responding. In the time it took for Angus to be picked up, her husband had already fallen asleep. The peaceful look on his face puts a smile on hers. “I’ll be okay. I got my nerd back to keep me company, after all.”

Taako’s eyes crinkle from how wide his grin is. “We’ll be back bright and early tomorrow, I promise.”

“Nooooo,” Lup shakes her head at him. “You’ll be back here tomorrow after you cook some chocolate chip pancakes to bring back here. Wink wink.”

The two of them laugh. It takes Magnus a second but soon enough he figures out what she’s proposing. “Heh, I get it.  _ Wink _ . G’night Lup.”

“Yeah, goodnight Lulu.”

“Goodnight you two.  _ Drive carefully _ .”

“We will,” Taako assures her.

Suddenly, Angus starts to stir, nearly pushing himself out of his dad’s arms. He lifts his head, craning it around to stare back at his slumbering uncle with eyes barely half-open.

“Happy Candlenights, Uncle Barry,” he mumbles before passing out again.

That single statement might just be the most fucked up thing about Lup’s day. It occurs to her in that moment, that while all of this terrible shit is happening around her to herself and to her family, it’s still fucking Candlenights. The most joyous time of the year.

The thought leaves her stunned and as Taako gapes at her for an explanation as to where all that came from, Lup realizes that that’s just the way a child’s mind works. They cling on to every detail and somehow see the simplicity of it all.

It’s haunting in a way.

Even after her extended family leaves and Lup snuggles up next to Barry for the night, her mind still mulls over what Angus said, keeping her up late into the next day.


	17. Choices Have Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup makes some decisions, and deals with the fallouts of each of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longer-than-usual wait! I spent the entire weekend moving but the good news is that all my stuff is in the same location now! I love my new room!!!! I'm gonna put up so many posters
> 
> Rn I'm busy with a lot of school work so the next update might take some time to. Just hang with me and thank you all for being patient so far :)
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: some innuendos bc I've been watching a lot of Austin Powers lately and my entire mind is filled with Mike Myers jokes
> 
> As always, THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT!

A week passes since Barry regained consciousness and it must be the longest week of Lup’s life. In the time where her husband’s life was still hanging in the balance, she was absolutely certain that the eternity she spent in pre-mourning would be the most trying of times.

In reality, it’s the aftermath that gets to her. That gets to  _ both _ of them.

Every day, she receives a new call from work or the insurance company, neither of which are particularly pleasant. Their insurance company won’t cover the damages to the car because of some “claim they made two years ago,” which Lup knows is bullshit. At least they’re paying for  _ half _ of Barry’s medical bills. The other half is coming straight out of their pockets. As for work, her boss has been very lenient on giving her time off, but eventually her built-up vacation days are going to run out.

More accurately, she has two days to get back to Lynchburg or else her ass may be unemployed, and they need a steady income now more than ever.

To add insult to injury, Barry’s  _ Equinox _ won’t be fully repaired for another week or so, meaning she’s trapped in Chicago until she can find a ride elsewhere.

Then there’s Barry.

Barry. Sweet sweet Barry. The love of her life. Her lab partner. Her college buddy. Her love ‘til death do them apart.

For as high as his IQ is, Barry can’t seem to grasp the fact that recovering from a fucking car crash takes _ goddamn time _ .

Along with stressing over a ride home and tussling with their insurance company, Lup has to stop Barry from talking  _ constantly _ . It seems like every time a silence falls over his hospital room, he has to fill it, no matter how broken his voice sounds or the strain it puts on his vocal cords. Lup tries her best, she  _ really does _ , to patiently quiet him and assure him he’ll recover faster if he waits. Only Barry doesn’t seem to  _ want _ to wait. More than once, he’s tried to get out his hospital bed and walk around the room!

The first time he tried to stand was the first time Lup actually snapped at him. For a moment, her calming facade was shattered. The look on Barry’s face still has her drowning in regret.

What else is she supposed to do, though? If Barry won’t listen, he won’t get better. It’s as simple as that. With frayed nerves and limited time and sleep wearing her down, Lup’s not sure how much longer she can keep this up. She wants to be supportive, she wants to be there for Barry, but the universe seems to want to tear her away in whatever way possible. The two of them need to come to some sort of agreement, or figure out a way to make things work.

“We need to talk.”

It’s late at night. Taako, Angus, and Magnus have already left for the day, promising to come back the next day like like they have previously that week. The lights outside in the hallway have started to dim one by one, following the course of the evening sky into darkness.

Propped up by a set of pillows, Barry arches a single eyebrow at her.

“Sorry. Poor choice of words.” Lup pulls out her phone and hands it to him. “So...I guess this is where we start making grown-up decisions, huh?”

Barry bites the inside of his cheek as he texts out his reply. Lup can practically see the gears turning in his brain, piecing together all the misfit options available to them into one seamless solution. He turns the screen back to her.

**How lng do you have? Can’t you wait unti the cars fixed**

Lup groans. “I already told you, babe. I have to be back the day after _ tomorrow _ . I can’t... _ we _ can’t afford for me to get fired.”

**When’s magnus heading back  Did you check the ticket sights to see f there was a flight**

“I-Jesus, Barold. I told you that already! There was nothing, alright? Nothing. Everything was booked. I checked _ three times _ and nothing opened up.”

**Ok im sorry. Just tryin to make sure we coverd everything**

Lup groans again, but this time her irritation is absent. “I know you are, hon. I’m sorry I keep snapping like that. It’s just…”

Barry holds out his hand and  the rest of Lup’s thoughts are portrayed in her action to take it. He runs a thumb over her knuckles, forming small, smooth circles that gradually slower her heart rate. Lup closes her eyes and sighs, losing herself to the simple rhythm. God, if only everything could be just as simple as this.

She feels a gentle squeeze on her hand and looks up to see Barry’s new message.

**I wish i could make you feel better**

Lup laughs softly. “Same to you, sap….” She feels her jaw tighten upon a sudden realization and looks directly into his eyes. “Are you doing okay, babe? Like...I know you’re not doing so hot right now, but like...are you  _ okay _ okay?”

Her words sound so dumb coming out of her mouth, but Lup doesn’t want to press the issue any further in fear she’ll just upset her husband. Barry frowns and makes quick work of typing back a new response.

**Dont worry about me. I’ll be alright**

Lup doesn’t find any reassurance in his answer. “No, Barry that’s not what I mean. Are you feeling okay? Are...are you anxious or scared or anything?”

The frown on Barry’s face deepens.

**I dont understand. I feel fine. Im happy to be alive**

Everything about this word choice screams repression in Lup’s mind. This, on top of trying to move a week before he should even attempt to stand up on his own again is not a good sign. She notices the way his eyes nervously dart away from her, landing on some random corner of the room. He’s doing exactly what she told him not to do.

How is she supposed to leave him like this?

**Are there any other options?**

“Um...well…” Lup runs her free hand over her face. Right, like she can just wipe away her insecurities. “Worst case scenario, I gotta rent a car and drive back by myself-”

Barry shakes his head furiously.

“I know. I don’t want to do that either, but choice do we have? We...we gotta make a decision tonight so I can pack up and get ready to go.”

Whatever God was looking upon Lup in that very moment finally decides to throw her a bone. As if on cue, Lup’s phone starts to ring. Barry hands it to her and she quickly reads the caller ID before swiping to answer.

Lup puts the phone to her ear. “Taako? Everything alright?”

“ _ Hold the fucking phone, Lulu. I figured out a solution to your problem.” _

“...that’s what I’m already doing.”

“ _ Don’t be a smart alec, sis. Kravitz just showed up. He’s offering you a ride back to Lynchburg. _ ”

 

 

 

It’s too good to be true. There’s no way the magical solution to Lup’s problem just appeared in front of her. There has to be a catch. Yes, there’s always a catch. Any minute now, it’s gonna catch up with her.

But nope. Kravitz and Taako show up at the hospital thirty minutes later, the two men hand in hand as they walk into Barry’s room. Lup would comment on how gay they are if she still wasn’t stuck thinking the entire situation was a fever dream.

Kravitz is decked in, essentially, travel wear. The past few times Lup has come face-to-face with the man, he’s been sporting classic business casual attire. Normally, it’s a button-up shirt and a nice, crisp pair of slacks. Now his slacks have been traded in for a pair of sweatpants and the button-up has transformed into a baggy jacket. There are deep bags underneath his eyes, but the longing glances he keeps throwing her brother’s way shows he has enough energy to last through the night.

Grossaroni with cheese. Lup decides not to think about that for now.

“So...are you really serious...about driving back halfway across the country just to get me home?” Lup asks him “Like, you  _ just got here _ . Wouldn’t a normal human being need to like...sleep or something? Or at least stick around for a day?”

Kravitz chuckles somewhat quietly. “I’m dead serious. You need help and I’m willing to offer it. Besides, we won’t leave until the morning. I’ll have plenty of time to catch some rest before I’m behind the wheel again.”

Lup eyes him quizzically. “You’re not just doing this to get brownie points from me or anything right? I’m pretty sure I already gave you my bl- _ approval _ to dote over my younger brother.”

“Three minutes means shit, Lulu!” Taako protests. “God, you’re just as bad as Magnus. Can’t Krav just be a good person? Keep in mind, you are taking his nice-looking ass away from me for the New Year, so you better not squander this gift, alright?”

Lup’s answer should be immediate.  _ Yes, of course I’ll go with you Kravitz, my literal last fucking option. Only a deranged person would turn you down. _

Strangely, she finds herself hesitating. She looks to Kravitz, bleary-eyed and shining with generosity. There’s no doubt in Lup’s mind he’s serious about his offer. She looks to Taako, who masks his disappointment of having his boyfriend stolen from him with a kind smile.

Then Lup turns back to Barry, whose crippled body dons a skin suit that’s paler than snow and holds constellations of sickly purple-and-yellowish bruises. Lup can read her husband like a book just from the look in his own eyes. He’s scared, less so than when he first woke up but scared regardless, and longing for...something. Someone to keep him together while he slowly recovers his bearings. He’s longing for Lup, and Lup can feel a tug on her conscious to stay. She’s needed here with him.

But both of them need a blanket of financial security, and that fact is solidified when Barry mouths to her,  _ Go _ .

So she will. “Okay. I’ll take you up on that offer, Krav...thank you so much.”

Kravitz opens his mouth to speak but Taako beats him to it. “Hey, I’m the only one that’s allowed to call him that, alright? Grim is up for grabs for everyone, but Krav is a Taako original.”

“Technically, you’re stealing it from my mother but whatever you say, love,” Kravitz smirks before addressing Lup. “Don’t worry about thanking me. How does seven o’clock sound to you? Too early?”

“That sounds perfect. Better go pack, huh?”

Kravitz makes sure to iron out a few more travel plans with her before wishing Barry well and making his way out. Taako isn’t far behind him, but takes a bit longer saying goodnight to Lup’s husband.

“Ango and me are gonna be back here as soon as they leave, so you better not try to do anything funny while I’m gone, got it? You’re stuck with the other Taaco twin now, buster...but seriously feel better soon, have a good night, Barold.”

With Taako gone, it’s just the two of them, and the silence that hangs over the room bothers Lup now more than ever. She sits down on the edge of Barry’s bed and takes one of his hands.

“So...I guess this is goodbye?”

**Seems like it**

Lup swallows back a lump in her throat. This isn’t a  _ goodbye _ goodbye, but God, does it feel like it. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. I-I’ll buy a plane ticket and make it by Sunday if I can. But you’ll...you’ll probably be ready to go by then.

**you think so?**

“I know it. My gut’s telling me so.”

Barry types out one more message before pressing Lup’s phone into her hand to take back.

**I love you please be safe**

Giving up the ghost, Lup allows the tears piling up in her eyes to spill over. “I love you too. So  _ so much _ . We’ll leave together next time, babe, I promise.”

She kisses him, and she makes sure it’s a kiss worth a week of her absence.

 

 

 

Hours later and far into the night, Lup finds herself unable to sleep as she stares aimlessly at Taako’s ceiling from her spot on his couch. Given Kravitz’ sacrifice and how Lup had known how much the two had been excited to see one another, she had decided to give them the master bedroom for the night, exiling herself to the couch. It was the least she could do for them after all the trouble they had gone through for her.

Thankfully, they hadn’t been  _ too _ loud either, so Lup considered it a true win-win.

But now, the combination of the flat cushions underneath her butt and the thousands of thoughts running through her head are keeping her from catching any rest. If there’s one thing she needs for a twenty-two hour road trip, it’s sleep.

No matter what she does, thought, Lup just can’t fall asleep. She can’t force it by closing her eyes or by fake-yawning a lot (which normally caused her to start yawning for real and drove her off to sleep) and by this point, she’s out of options.

Admitting defeat, Lup turns to the one alternative to sleeping that all young people do at insane hours of the night; scrolling aimlessly through her phone.

More accurately, Lup pulls her earbuds out of her suitcase and opens up her music app. While she wasn’t cursed with the ability to fall asleep to audio, it still beats staring at the ceiling for another few hours. Without even thinking, Lup hits shuffle and sets her phone down beside her.

That is her first mistake.

The first song, the _ very first song _ to pop up from her library is a song by Barry’s favorite band, one that they listened to on the drive over to Chicago. The song in question isn’t even that sad (in fact anything could be farther from the truth), but Lup finds herself crying regardless. Upbeat piano chords and heartwarming lyrics tear at the fragile barrier protecting herself from emotional vulnerability.

It’s so overwhelming all at once and Lup finds herself struggling for air. She rubs at her eyes, tears falling faster than she can possibly combat.

_ Calm down Lup, it’s just a song. It’s just a song! Stop crying. _

She can’t, and her second mistake is not bothering to take out one of her earbuds to hear just how loud she’s sobbing. At this point, she’s hiccuping, each breath shuddering like a leaky balloon. Lup tucks her knees against her chest as the chorus rises in tempo, the main vocalist’s cheerful voice driving her further into hysteria.

The lyrics are  _ happy _ . One of them literally talks about getting a dog.

It makes Lup feel lonelier by the second.

How could she leave Barry behind? How could she find the heart to go back to Lynchburg when he can’t even speak yet? He looked so terrified when she left, and she’s not even out of the city yet.

She did the wrong thing, didn’t she? No, Lup is certain that she did.

There’s still time before they leave in the morning. When Kravitz wakes up, Lup can just tell him to forget about the trip. Yeah, Kravitz’ will like that; he’ll get to spend more time with Taako. Then she can go back to the hospital and be by Barry’s side, make sure he doesn’t try to do anything stupid like stand up on his own again. Everything would be better if she chose to stay. Everything would be fine. It would be right? Yeah, it would be. It would be-

Suddenly, Lup feels a hand grip her shoulder. On reflex, she scrambles out of her fetal position, sending her earbuds flying out of her ears. The song ends seconds before the final repeat of the chorus, but the feeling of isolation remains.

“Aunt Lup?”

Lup blinks away the rest of her tears and makes out her nephew’s face through the darkness. Angus has a deep frown on his face, from apprehension or concern Lup isn’t really sure.

“Oh,” Lup croaks, already moving to straighten herself out. She runs a hand over her face to wipe it dry one last time and musters any kind of smile she possibly can. “S-Sorry if I...woke you up. I didn’t mean to-”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Lup stares at him. “Huh?”

Angus looks down sheepishly, his glasses scooting down to the edge of his nose. He pushes them back up as he speaks. “You seem...really upset. My dad says talking can help you feel better about...stuff like this. I’m….I’m willing to listen...if you want…”

Something about the way Angus’ phrases his question sets off Lup’s fight-or-flight response. “Oh no, no I’m...I’m fine, Angus, really. I...I don’t need to talk about anything.”

_ Especially not right now,  _ she thinks _. This is all my fault anyway. I did this to myself and I need to deal with the consequences. _

“Oh...okay,” Angus mumbles. He seems...dejected? Or at least, the way he looks away from Lup causes her to assume that. It seems a bit odd he’d want to listen to her vent to him, given what this time of the year means for him-

Oh  _ shit. _

This is Angus’ way of trying to start  _ that _ conversation. The one Taako told her was coming. And she just turned him  _ down _ .

Score zero for the Chalupa Lady. Emotional ignorance one.

Lup needs to backpedal and _ fast _ . If this conversation is leading where she thinks it’s leading, she needs to make sure the train stays on the tracks.

“Well, actually, uh…” She flounders for her words as Angus’ looks back up at her. It’s obvious he’s awaiting approval, the chance to open up but only if she does too.

By God, if this is what it takes for Angus to feel brave, then Lup is going to be brave for him.

She takes a deep breath and starts over. “Actually Ango...I’m not feeling so great. Do...do you ever get really sad about something that happened to you, and...even though it’s not your fault you just feel…?”

“Helpless?”

The two of them lock eyes, and in that moment, a bond of understanding is formed between them.

“Yeah...do you-? How about...what if I tell you what’s bothering me...and you can tell me something that’s bothering you. I-If there is anything. I’m just making assumptions-”

“My parents die tomorrow. S-Seven years ago that is.”

And the words just...come out. Lup finds herself unable to respond with the same courage she had before. “Oh...oh Angus, I…”

_ Don’t just say you’re sorry, Lup. That’s not enough right now. _

Instead of the same bullshit response she’s sure the kid has received countless times, Lup grabs onto his shoulders and squeezes him gently. She can see his own eyes start to water. “I’m so sorry that happened to you...do you wanna talk about it over the cookies we made?”

Angus nods, his lower lip quivering.

“Okay, pumpkin. We’re out of milk, but...I’m sure we’ll find something else in the fridge that’ll work just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Lup was listening to was Moscow by Autoheart. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go listen to it its so good and wholesome and it's the only thing I've been listening to all weekend.


	18. Love and Admiration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Love is love is love." - Lin-Manuel Miranda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSAT's are this Wednesday and I'm here writing fan fiction instead of studying :)))))) I'm sure I'll be fine. This chapter is pretty plot important anyway and I made myself cry a little bit while writing it. The topic discussed is pretty important/personal to me.
> 
> Thank you all for your continued support! It means everything.

Lup is unsure whether or not she should feel offended by the universe that the snickerdoodle cookies the three of them made almost a week ago are a bit stale. Sure, it makes logical sense that they would be, but can’t she just catch a _goddamn break_?

Regardless of their taste, Angus nibbles on his cookie without any complaint, other matters obviously taking away his focus. Lup is standing on the opposite side of the kitchen counter, watching him nervously instead of eating more of her own snickerdoodle. She’s not sure who’s supposed to talk first in this kind of situation. Technically, she is the adult here, but Angus is the one with the most emotional baggage. Do they need to Rock-Paper-Scissors this out or is it like Jeopardy and one of them has to hit a buzzer first-?

“They were in a car crash. Both of them died on impact.” Angus’ words are quiet to the point where they are almost inaudible. He takes another small bite of his cookie and rubs at his eyes.

“Oh...that’s rough, sweetie. I’m so sorry.” Lup hopes her empathy comes off convincing enough, given that Taako has already filled her in on the situation. From what she’s seen of Angus, her nephew is just about as smart as his own favorite literary character. Maybe he could beat Caleb Cleveland for the title of World’s Greatest Detective.

Thankfully, Angus doesn’t seem to catch on to her ruse. He swallows down his mouthful and continues. “I met Taako at their funeral, but he didn’t adopt me then. I was in foster care for about half a year. It-” his voice cracks, along with Lup’s heart. “It...really sucked.”

Lup nods with a low hum. “I felt the same way about it.”

“Did you-? I, uh,” Angus stumbles over his words. “Sometimes, I feel bad complaining about it because I was only with one family before I was adopted. A-And you and dad...it just doesn’t seem _right_ for me to-”

“Stop right there, kiddo.” Lup sets down her cookie and leans across the counter so she’s facing her nephew better. Tako told her Angus has been having trouble opening up about his parent’s death and the last thing she should be doing right now is interrupting him. However, there is no way Lup is going to let that flame of insecurity burn any brighter. If this is her role to play, she is going to play it right. “One family? Seven families? The number doesn’t matter. We were all in the system and we all share that pain. You have every right to talk about it, okay?”

Angus’ lower lip starts to quiver, and Lup immediately assumes she’s made a mistake, She had to have. The last thing she wants is to upset the kid even further.

However, Angus simply looks down at the floor and continues talking. “I missed them so much. I called Taako every day just to have someone to talk to. I...I was so _lonely_. It was like...like everyone I ever cared about had been stripped away from me. I couldn’t even talk to my grandpa because he was dying at the time…”

Lup is reminded of a house with a white-picket fence and a golden retriever in the yard, all of which was owned by a family that had caused the same isolation in her life.

God, to think Angus was only five or six years old at the time. Lup had lived twice that long before she and Taako had been separated.

“E-Even though it’s all over,” Angus stutters, “I still feel... _homesick_ , I guess. Is...is it okay to feel like that, too?”

“Of course it is, Angus,” Lup assures him.

“B-But!” Angus suddenly protests, tears now in his eyes. Lup _panics_ . What? How was what she said wrong? What did she do wrong? “My life now is great! I...I love my dad, and Uncle Magnus, and grandpa Merle, a-a-and...I love _all_ of them! How...h-how can I miss my old life w-when I have them?!”

“H-Hey, Angus, it’s-”

“It’s not fair to them!” he cries loudly.

Lup puts a finger to her lip. “Angus! Shh-”

“Why can’t I just forget them?!”

The part of Lup doubting every move she makes is overpowered by an instinct foreign to her. Without even thinking, she grabs Angus’ shoulders. “ _Angus_.” She looks him dead in the eyes, the one on his right still red from its broken blood-vessel. “Calm down. Breathe with me. Remember how to do that? In...out….yeah just like that. Keep it up, buddy. C’mon.”

They breathe together for several minutes, only coming to an end once Angus’ breath stops shuddering.

“Better?”

Angus nods his head slowly.

“Good. Let’s not wake up your dad and the Reaper Man, eh? Now listen to me, Angus...you listening?”

Angus nods again with gusto.

“That’s not how families work. You aren’t limited to only having one. A family can be blood, adopted, blood, anything. As long as you are loved and cared for, it is still a family.”

“B-But-”

“Hold on, pumpkin, I’m not finished,” Lup soothes him. She finds herself running a hand through his hair, sweeping back the curls falling over his face. It seems...right, in the moment. This is something she can do to make him feel comforted, so she continues the action. “I know you miss your biological parents...I’m sure they were amazing folks just like you are, Ango...but you _can’t_ forget them. Don’t repress them. Don’t ignore the fact that they were with you. It hurts but you have to keep them alive. Because they never die if you remember them. You are their legacy, and all the love they shared with you is shared to the rest of the world through _you_.”

Something Lup says seems to leave some kind of effect on Angus. Whatever it was, it hits the kid hard. He bursts into a sob, and Lup is already pulling him into a tight embrace.

“You’re not cheatin’ Taako either. You’re not cheatin’ anyone, dear,” Lup whispers as she rubs a hand up and down her nephew’s back. “We all love you, and we know you love your parents, too. There aren’t any rules to love. You can care about all of us. It’s okay, Angus. It’s okay to care. It’s okay to miss them.”

Angus’ cries are silent, minus the occasional whimper that escapes him, but Lup can feel every so that is racked out of his body and every tear that soaks into her shirt. In this moment of vulnerability, Lup has to wonder; if someone had been there to say these exact words to her thirteen years ago, would she have turned out differently?

She and her nephew really aren’t that different, after all. Their age gap doesn’t resonate in her mind anymore.

“Y’know, I thought the same things you did when I fell in love with your Uncle Barry,” Lup reveals. She figures if one of them has already spilled their guts, why shouldn’t she? “I thought I was gonna get swept away by how I felt about him and forget about finding Taako all together. Or worse...I worried about losing Barry, too.  But I realized...I _realized_ -” Her own voice starts to waver. “I-I realized it was okay to be open, to love, because when you love someone...they tend to love you back. They got your _back_ ...I-I hope Barry still knows I have his. I h-hope he’s okay when I leave…I love him _so much_.”

Angus hugs her back even harder and Lup takes it as his way of comforting her. They both cling to each other, crying in each other’s arms just like they did in the hospital. Only this time, they’re not crying out of fear of the unknown.

They are healing. Slowly but surely, both of them will be okay.

Angus takes a deep breath, his entire face now red from crying so hard. “I love you, Aunt Lup.”

Lup hears herself gasp as the words give birth to the same warmth in her chest she felt when they were baking cookies, and when Angus had wanted to read Barry when he was in his coma. Only, it’s stronger this time. So much stronger, to the point where it knocks her breath away. She knows what it is now, after all this heartache she finally knows what the feeling is.

Admiration.

“I love you, too, Angus.”

 

 

 

It takes nearly an hour to leave Taako’s apartment, dismantling Kravitz and Lup’s travel schedule before it’s even started. Taako just can’t seem to stop pulling Kravitz in for one last “Goodbye Kiss” and he must assure Lup a thousand times he’s going to watch after Barry until she finally feels calm enough to step outside.

“Cha’ boy’s got this. I won’t let anything happen to your nerd, I promise. Have I ever broken a promise before?”

“No, no you haven’t, broseph.”

Angus is given his chance to give them both a proper goodbye, starting first with Kravitz, who the young boy makes sure to ask if he has in fact started reading Caleb Cleveland. Kravitz assures him that he is currently on book five and that the love triangle going on with the three main leads is slowly killing him.

“Yeah, not the best artistic choice of the series, I’ll give you that.”

Finally, it’s Lup’s turn to say goodbye to Angus. The two of them stand face to face, both of their eyes still red and puffy from the eventus of the previous night. Angus smiles at her and Lup smiles right on back. A heartfelt conversation is spoken right there through just the way they look at each other, but words are no longer necessary. However, as they go to hug each other one last time, Lup makes sure to say one last thing.

“Love you, Ango.”

“Love you too, Aunt Lup.”

They let go of each other before Angus suddenly jumps. “Oh! I forgot! Hold on a sec!”

He races into his bedroom and runs out a moment later with a piece of paper in his hand. He holds it out to Lup, who takes it without uncertainty.

“I know you won’t be able to go with us to see them today...so I thought maybe you’d like to know where they are in case you ever do.”

Lup beams down at him. “Thank you, sweetie. I’ll be sure to visit them as soon as I can.”

What seems like a millisecond later, Both Lup and Kravitz are sitting in the front seats of a silver _Buick_ , cruising through the quiet streets of Chicago, hours before the midday traffic has a chance to kick up. Kravitz seems much more refreshed after a full night's rest, which is good because Lup feels drop-dead exhausted. However, she’s not tired enough to go to sleep just yet. There is somewhere they need to go first.

“Hey Krav?”

“Yeah?”

“You cool if we make a quick stop?”

 

 

 

The snow beneath Lup’s feet is half-melted to the point where it is nothing more than the consistency of a 7/11 slushie, but it still crunches underneath her weight regardless. With Kravitz trailing behind her, the two of them calmly make their way up to the gates of the Neverwinter Cemetery and slip inside. They pass through the parking lot and to the open field of tombstones, each of them illuminated by the few streaks of sunlight poking through the trees overhead.

Lup makes sure to read each marker carefully, mouthing each name she sees and shaking her head once or twice as she goes along. She’s not sure which row she’s looking for specifically, but the cemetery isn’t as big as the one she passes through in Lynchburg on her way to work. It won’t take long to find the graves she is looking for.

The search continues until finally, Lup stumbles across a single, large tombstone with two names carved into it. The stone is a bit weathered from time and the seasons, but otherwise is in excellent condition. It’s obvious the visitors for the couple resting below her take good care of the marker above their final resting place.

**Gregory and Marjorie McDonald**

Reaching into her pocket, Lup pulls out a small plastic bag with a snickerdoodle inside of it. She bends down on her knees and places the covered cookie on the patch of snow-covered grass next to the tombstone. It seems like a silly offering to leave compared to your average bouquet of flowers and whatnot, but to Lup it means much more than a simple offering of her condolences.

Lup stands back up and smiles. “Hey, Mr. and Mrs. McDonald. It’s nice to finally meet you. You have a wonderful son. That Ango; he’s gonna go places, I know it…”


	19. Homeward Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz drives. Lup spends her week alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSAT OVER  
> Google Docs OPENED  
> Writers Block BEGUN
> 
> I AM FORCEFULLY DEPRIVED OF ALL MY CREATIVE TALENT
> 
> Seriously, this chapter just did not want to be written. But it's here now! The ending feels a bit lacking in my opinion but hopefully you all still enjoy it.
> 
> Thank you all for the support as always!

Lulled by the overcast sky and the low rumble of Kravitz’  _ Buick _ , Lup falls asleep for a majority of the first leg of their drive. Which is a good thing, given she spent most of her night worrying over her husband and crying with her nephew.

When she wakes up, the sun is still cloaked by a thick layer of clouds and the air around her smells a great deal like burgers. Sluggishly, Lup sits up in her seat and arches her back as best she can, popping it in at least seven different places.

“Sleep well?” Kravitz asks.

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” she moans into her stretch. She leans back again and sniffs, now hot on the case of where the mysterious smell is. “What’s that…?”

Then, she spots it. A paper sack with a yellow arch logo sitting on the car mat between her feet. Lup gasps, swiftly reaching into the bag and pulling out a warm, tin foil-wrapped Big Mac. Her mouth waters at the greasy sight her eyes behold as she tears at the wrapping like a vicious animal.

The first bite she takes tastes like the purest slice of fatty heaven imaginable and quickly overpowers the mute after flavor left behind from small bowl of cereal she had that morning. It’s saturated in ketchup and mayo, processed as hell, and will no doubt go all to her hips later, but Lup allows herself to indulge regardless. She doesn't even allow herself time to breathe as she goes in for her next bite.

“Mm’ah Gawd Krav’tsss thank’.”

Kravitz chuckles, his smile clearly giving away his amusement. “It was the only place around for miles. Haven’t been in a few years so I figured it must have been a sign from above to finally fill up on some Micky D’s.”

Lup swallows her mouthful. “I’m totally telling Taako you said Micky D’s like some fucking nineties kid.”

“What? A lot of people still call it that!”

“No they don’t, Kravitz. No they don’t.” Lup goes in for another bite. “Can’t beliv’ ‘m lettin’ you marry my broth’r.”

There is a noticeable change in atmosphere the moment Lup finishes her thought. Kravitz’ smile drops, his eyes softening as they stay fixated on the road ahead of them. His shoulders sag down just enough to be considered slouching, and a timer in Lup’s head is ticking down the seconds it takes for her to finally connect the dots.

Oh right. He was going to propose on New Years.

Correction: Kravitz was going to propose  _ today _ .

“ _ Shi-et! _ ” Lup swears before she starts choking on her burger. She curls her hand into a fist and pounds it against her chest as she painfully coughs the bits of ground beef caught in his oesophagus. Once her airway is clear, Lup sets the rest of her Big Mac down, now too ashamed and too afraid of choking again to scrounge up more of an appetite. “Kravitz, I’m so  _ so sorry _ . If I’d remembered I would have just rented a car, I’m such a shit-”

“Hey hey, it’s okay! Really,” Kravitz holds up a hand, keeping his other firmly attached to 8 o'clock, and plasters on a smile so fake it must be made of plastic. “Really it’s...it’s fine…”

“But you were so  _ excited _ . _ I  _ was so excited.  _ Argh! _ ” Lup slams the palm of her hand into her forehead. “God, I’m the worst aunt  _ and _ the worst future sister-in-law.”

“It might actually...it might actually be better this way.”

Lup feels like she is swimming in molasses as she slowly turns her head to Kravitz and stares daggers right through his soul. “ _ What. _ ”

Her tone spooks him and Kravitz’ face pales. “N-No! Not like-!”

“If you break up with Taako, I swear to whomever is above us-”

“That’s not what I’m-!”

“He  _ loves you _ , Kravitz! He doesn’t ever shut up about your gorgeous face and your nice ass! I put up with his lovely-dovey bullshit  _ all the time! _ You can’t do this to either of us-!”

“Lup, I still want to marry Taako!” Kravitz has to shout to get her attention, his knuckles white from his iron grip on the steering wheel. There is a look of desperation in his eyes, almost as if he is pleading to someone to let him fulfill his wish.

Lup backs down immediately, her frustration rushing out of her as swiftly as it arrived. However, her confusion still lingers. “Oh...then what do you mean?”

The light in Kravitz’ eyes fades, as if it's nothing more than the dull stub of a candle moments before it’s completely burned out.  His frown is deep and pitiful, turning Lup just as mauldin as he is. “Well, for starters...it wouldn’t have been right to propose after Barry...a-after what happened to him. I knew the moment Taako called me and told me what happened it would have to wait. Barry needed you all-he still does-and it’d be wrong of me to divert everyone’s attention away from him.”

Well...that is a side to the story Lup did not even consider. An awkward sort of guilt sits upon her shoulders. Sure, no one could have stopped what happened to Barry, and if Lup could have she would have done so in a  _ heartbeat _ . But to think that her brother was this close to happiness only to have it ripped away by a family tragedy doesn’t bode well with her.

“Hey, don’t blame yourself for wanting to propose, okay dude?” Lup nudges Kravitz’ arm lightly, just enough to make sure he is listening. “I know you were looking forward to it. But hey! You can try again next week, how does that sound? Barry will be better by then, you can sweep in and knock Taako right off his feet and...smooch his face off…?”

It becomes obvious by the way Kravitz starts sulking over her words that there is another issue eating at him.

“Unless...there’s something else I should know about…?”

Kravitz shuts his eyes-just for a moment, mind you. He  _ is _ driving-squeezing them tightly as if to ward off the question entirely. When he opens them, his eyes are glossed over and the first thought that goes throw Lup’s head is,  _ Shit I can’t fix whatever this is. _

“I...I didn’t think any of this through. We’ve been dating for over a year now, and...it never occurred to me why we haven’t already proposed to each other yet. O-Or why we haven’t tried to move in with each other, either…”

Kravitz pauses, and Lup watches in horrified fixation as this man, who normally seemed so composed and kind to her before, slowly breaks himself down.

“We’re both too attached to our lives. Taako has his restaurant, and it’s doing so well! In its first year no less! I’m so _ so happy _ for him...I can’t take that away from him. Which means if we to choose to spend the rest of our lives together, I’ll have to be the one who gives up their job,  _ their _ life.”

_ If not when if not when shit shit shit _ , Lup panics. “W-Well, there’s no need to think that it’s gonna be an end-all, lose-all situation, bud. It’s marriage. That’s...that’s not how it’s supposed to work.”

Kravitz smiles weakly with a laugh that’s as strong as broken glass. “I can’t think of any other way around it. After what happened to him with culinary school and Sazed, he needs  _ Sizzle It Up _ . And Angus! Angus has lived in Chicago his whole life. It’s where his parents are, his friends, his teacher Lucretia...I can’t-I  _ won’t _ drag them back to Lynchburg just for me.”

Lup stares at him sternly. “Don’t talk about yourself like you’re not important.”

“That’s the thing, though. I can relocate. There are a handful of funeral homes in Chicago I’ve already looked into who are ready to hire me on the spot...I’m just not ready to say goodbye to where I work currently. I-I’d miss my assistant Noelle and my boss Raven. God forbid, I might even miss that _ damn Lucas Miller _ .” Kravitz chuckles, and Lup does along with him somewhat nervously. “I know it has to happen eventually. Nothing lasts forever, and as a mortician I should know that. I’m just...not ready yet.”

The sincerity in his words is a gut punch to everything Lup was hoping he wasn’t going to say. There’s nothing she can really say to sway his decision and Kravitz seems pretty firm in where he stands. When she has proposed to Barry, there really hadn’t been anything tying each other back, minus her abandonment issues. They both lived in the same town (in the same house no less, underneath the Bluejeans family roof) and were both ready to start their own journey together. It all seems too good to be true, now that she looks back on it.

This is Kravitz’ own issue, and it is becoming more apparent that he is going to have to fix this problem all on his own, despite how much Lup wants to intervene. If only she could grab Kravitz, grab her brother, and force the two together in holy matrimony. Unfortunately, Lup can’t be in two places at once and she’s not even a priest.

Merle on the other hand...No, no it still wouldn’t fix everything. This is a personal battle. Kravitz will have to figure this out first before he is ready to make such a big commitment.

Lup puts a hand on Kravitz’ shoulder. “Listen, you don’t have to rush into anything you don’t want to. If you need to wait, wait. But when you’re doing your self-reflecting bullshit on this later,  _ please _ don’t take on more than you can handle. Take it from me and ask for help when you need it, alright? I’ll always be here with an ear ready to listen.”

Kravitz smiles again, this time with less self-pity to pull the corners of his lips down. “I appreciate it, Lup. Thank you.”

“And take your time, okay?”

“I will.”

“Good, because it takes time. There’s no avoiding it.” Lup is reminded of a pair of tiny hands twisting the locks of her hair together into a braid, and a conversation that followed afterwards. “You know it’s okay to feel conflicted about this, right?”

“Yes, yes I do,” Kravitz says with a nod.

“It’s gonna be okay in the end. You know that too, right?”

“...how can you be sure?”

Lup smirks fondly. “Because eventually, everything works itself out.”

 

 

 

The week of work that awaits Lup upon her return is tedious as fuck.

All of her coworkers sends their condolences and their best wishes to her husband, even though many of them have never even met Barry. Lup can take the sympathy and the wounded glances she catches her way like a pro. Stuff like that doesn’t bother her as long as it’s sincere. What she can’t stand is the utmost disrespect she receives from her boss, Barbara, for being out for nearly two weeks because her husband almost  _ died _ in a fucking car crash.

Barbara doubles her workload, raises her due date on her projects two days earlier than she had been expecting, and partners up with motherfucking  _ Marvey _ to make sure she gets it all done. Lup, with a thousand shits to give and a body solely powered on negative emotions apparently, completes all of her assignments in an all-nighter the day she receives the news.

The look on both of their faces had been priceless. Lup couldn’t wait to see how’d they respond in the future when she handed in her resignation notice. God, what a day that’ll be.

The only repercussion she receives for her powerplay is a snotty comment or two from Marvey, which Lup simply takes to Brad in the HR department. Everything else at work runs smoothly, which means it’s a boring work reading over statistics and filing paperwork until Saturday arrives.

Lup can’t help but think every time she finishes another sloppy report how she could be with Barry right now. Every second she spends reading a line of data could have been a second she spent by his side, helping him through his trauma, getting him ready for the trip home. If she could trade it all for one last moment with him, holding his hand or sharing one last kiss, she would.

Her heart longs for what she can’t have, and the weight of her responsibility mocks her every day that goes by.

She calls Taako every day the second she gets home. Every time he tells her how the three of them are doing, how Barry’s doing, before handing the phone over to said man so Lup can tell her husband all about her day. Barry had gotten a kick out of her choice to pull an all nighter, which had filled Lup with a sense of pride until Barry’s laughing fit quickly turned to a scraggly mess of sharp notes that tore at his damaged vocal chords. There had been other times after that where he tried to talk back to her, and it put Lup to tears to have to tell him to stay quiet.

The whole situation still sucks, but when Saturday rolls around, Lup can’t contain her joy as she steps onto her one-way flight to Chicago.

She can’t stay the entire weekend because she needs time to get back home for yet another week of work, but this time Barry is coming  _ with her _ . Just like she promised. It’ll be easier when they’re together, that she’s sure of.

When she lands, Lup calls for a  _ Lyft _ and tells the driver to book it to the Northwestern hospital. Her leg is bouncing the entire drive there and when they finally do arrive, she runs out of the car so fast she almost forgets to pay.

She races past the receptionist desk, over to the elevators, and waits in agony as the metal contraption  _ slowly _ makes its way up to Barry’s floor. Before the doors are even parted completely, she squeezes herself out into the hall and darts by the doctors and nurses in her way. Her heart is racing and it only starts beating faster with every stomp her feet make into the tile floor beneath her. Just a few feet away is her husband, the love of her life,  _ Barry _ . Right here in this very building and not twenty-two hours away.

Lup swears she is never leaving him alone ever again.

And then finally, after turning the corner, Lup reaches Barry’s room. The door is already open. Taako and Angus are standing by Barry’s bedside, talking and giggling about who knows what, while Barry beams up at them. Lup comes to a standstill, fully captivated by the color that has returned to her husband’s face and the one remaining wire attached to his arm.

Then Barry turns his head and sees her, and somehow his face becomes even more radiant than before. Lup breaks into another sprint, barrelling into the room and throwing her arms around his neck before pulling into the kiss to end all kisses. His hair feels greasy tangled up in her fingers but his skin is so much warmer than before, practically emanating warmth all around him. He looks and feels so much more  _ alive _ it puts Lup to tears.

She only pulls away to breathe and then quickly kisses him again. Even the smallest moments apart seem like such a waste.

“Well, someone’s happy to see you, Barry,” Taako snarks.

“Hi Aunt Lup!” Angus says with glee.

Lup breaks apart again and leans her forehead into Barry’s, lifting up her hands so she can cradle his head in her hands. One of her thumbs strokes his cheek as she promises in soft whispers, “Never again, I promise. We’re gonna leave together this time, I promise. I love you I love you  _ I love you _ .”

Barry wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her in tighter as his response. He nods against her, still smiling like an idiot, his face flushed from the lack of oxygen he was given during their long-awaited make-out session.

“You ready to go home babe?”

Barry nods again, his smile growing even wider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here's how this chapter was born.  
> Me: *after writing chapter 11* alright barry just got rekt. now why do I feel like I'm forgetting something-?  
> Me: sHOOT KRAV WAS GONNA PROPOSE  
> So I had to explain myself
> 
> Which reminds me, Barry's been in a hospital for, like, nine chapters now??? That 's a lot longer than I thought he was going to be in there. Dang.
> 
> We're getting pretty close to the end! I only have 2-3 more chapters planned after this one, then I'll have to decide if I'm actually gonna write part three or not. Regardless of what I do after this, I appreciate all of you who have read this fic, left a kudo, and/or commented on it. It means the world to me to see all of your support and I hope I can stick the landing :)


	20. The Road to Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It takes time to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SWEET POTATO PIE this is a long one folks. Like over 8,000 words long. I thought about splitting it up but honestly I think all these scenes feel better together than apart. Also, there's like??? A lot of crying in the chapter??? I'm not really sure why
> 
> HEADS UP the next chapter is gonna be the last one, folks. Yeah, it's time for this Blupjeans journey to end. I have had such a wonderful time writing this fic, just like a did with Six Years, and all of your support throughout this think has meant the world to me. I'll do a super sappy thank you note next chapter but you should all know I am really thankful to everyone who has read/given kudos/commented. You all rock :)
> 
> WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: Another vivid description of a panic attack. It happens after the second bolded part listed (you'll see when you start reading). You can skip it and still understand what's going on.

**One Month Later**

 

Barry yanks the passenger door open to his _Equinox_ and plops down in his seat in a rage, slamming the door shut behind him before putting his head in his hands. In a more calm and orderly fashion, Lup takes her spot in the driver’s seat and quietly puts the key into the ignition. The engine purrs smoothly underneath the sleek new hood, sending vibrations through the brake pedal and up Lup’s right leg.

She shifts out of park and into reverse with one hand as her other checks her rear-view mirror. Then, once she’s satisfied, Lup turns to her right to see what’s behind her.

The car pulls back a few inches, easing into the pavement and out of their parking space. “You’re gettin’ better, babe. You are. It’s just taking some time.”

Barry doesn’t respond, mainly because he is not allowed to. Doctor’s orders. Maureen had made herself very clear after the X-Rays on his vocal chords had been taken. If she hadn’t said anything, Lup knows her husband would be swearing up a storm.

Then again, if he could talk well, he wouldn’t feel the need to speak so negatively.

Lup stays in reverse until she can safely turn out of the rehab center’s parking lot. Shifting into drive, she waits for another car in front of her to pull in before entering the roadway. The roads are relatively quiet on mid-morning on a Sunday, given most people are attending church or shopping for this week’s groceries like Lup normally does.

The past month, however, Lup has had to go on her Kroger runs either on Saturday or Monday after work. After being granted permission to leave the Northwestern hospital and return home, Barry had been registered to complete his vocal therapy at the local rehab center. At first, the two of them had been optimistic. Barry’s doctor, Maureen, was very patient and had a high level of experience as well as a tender, motherly smile that put them both at ease. After two weeks, Barry had been able to speak vowels more clearly and was even able to articulate a couple of words.

But today, after his monthly screening, it became clear that even that small amount of vocal use had strained his chords too far. Maureen had estimated the damage would take even longer to heal than previously thought, and had taken away what little speech ability Barry had obtained.

Now he’s back at square one, and all Lup can do is stand by and watch as her husband repeatedly flies closer to the sun, only to fall back to earth.

The utter sense of hopelessness follows the two of them all the way back home. Lup pulls into the driveway and parks before turning off the ignition. Sliding the keys into her pocket, Lup grabs what other belongings she brought with her and steps out of the _Equinox_.

Her footsteps echo against throughout the neighborhood as she walks up to their front porch, the sound cutting through the silent night cloaking everything around her. Lup pulls out her other set of keys and fumbles for the one for the front door, the cold metal biting at the skin on her fingers. Finally, she finds the right one and unlocks both the deadbolt and the bottom handle.

As the door swings open, Lup looks behind her only to see she is alone.

Peeking past the doorway, Lup makes out the hunched-over form of her husband still sitting in the passenger seat. With a sigh, Lup closes the front door once again and makes her way back over to the _Equinox_. It’s almost painfully ironic how despite almost needing to be completely totalled after the damage it sustained in the wreck, the car looks brand spanking new. Meanwhile, its true driver lags behind.

Lup walks over to the passenger side and gently knocks her knuckles against the window. “Bar?”

Once again, Barry doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even nod. Lup feels a knot tighten in her chest as she opens the passenger door, no longer waiting for permission. She kneels down so she is eye-level with Barry and carefully, as if peeling old wallpaper off with nothing but a toothpick, pulls his hands off of his face. The red rims around Barry’s eyes betray the blank expression he has plastered onto himself.

“Let’s go inside.”

Barry blinks, then allows himself to be dragged inside by his wife, one of his hands firmly clasped around hers. Lup continues to guide him until they reach the living room, where she leaves him sitting on the couch while she goes to lock up. Then once the house is secure, she takes a seat down next to him.

“The day’s still young. What do you want to do?”

A moment passes before Barry shrugs faintly.

Lup takes a deep breath, forcing herself to remain collected, before reaching over for the TV remote. “I’m sure there’s some _Chopped_ on right now or something. Let’s check.”

As Lup channel surfs, Barry slumps over so his face is pressed into her shoulder and silently begins to sob. In the end, there are no reruns of _Chopped_ on at the moment, so they two of them settle for _Guy’s Grocery Games_ instead.

 

 

**One Week later**

 

Another week passes and Barry is once again placed on vocal-rest, lengthening his indefinite sentence of silence. Thankfully, he is allowed to go back to work only on the condition that he will communicate with his co-workers through hand-written notes or through the text-to-speak feature on his phone. Finally. Now they may be able to catch up a bit more on their unexpected expenses.

That following Monday, Lup finds herself waking up to an empty bed and a very antsy Barry pacing around in their kitchen. He is already dressed up in his work attire, fiddling with the tie around his neck while his cup of coffee sits abandoned on the counter.

Lup saunters over to Barry and places a hand on his shoulder. He jumps, a small _eek_ of surprise coming out of him involuntarily. “Need a little help?”

Barry looks down at the floor, his face growing red, but he turns to face her regardless. Lup takes the thinner end of the tie and wraps around his neck before tucking it around again to form a loop.

“You’re gonna kick ass today. I know it.”

Barry pulls his lips into a thin line.

“C’mon babe, don’t give me that look.” With one last tug, Lup tightens her knot and lets the end of the tie fall back against Barry’s chest. “There. Too tight?”

Curiously, Barry puts a hand up to his throat and plays with the accessory around his neck before shaking his head.

“Good.” With that information prevalent, Lup grabs the end of the tie and tugs it sharply, causing Barry to fall forward into her for a chaste kiss. When they part, Lup places a hand on top of his head and smoothes down any wild hairs. “Muster up some Bluejeans confidence. Y’know, your trademark attribute?”

Barry laughs silently. _Thank you babe_ , he mouths.

“Don’t mention it, other babe.”

Once Lup changes into her work clothes and both of them finish off their morning coffee, they pile into the _Equinox_ and drive off. Normally, the first one to get dropped off in the mornings if Lup, but today the roles are reversed. This time, it’s Lup’s turn to watch Barry step into his pharmaceutical workplace like a mother sending their kid to preschool.

She doesn’t break down when Barry steps out of the vehicle, or even after he makes his way indoors.

No, it’s not until she gets a text later in the day from Greg Grimaldis of all people that Barry broke down in the middle of the break room that Lup finds herself in the middle of an anxiety attack.

The main security guard quickly escorts her through the building once she arrives, giving her the short version of what happened. Apparently, Barry had been pulling out his lunch when Greg had approached him to ask how he was doing and suddenly...he had just _snapped_.

“He refuses to write to anyone. Keeps trying to say your name, but it almost sounds like he was choking. Didn’t seem like his airway was blocked or anything. He’s still in the room. Doesn’t want to leave. When his co-workers tried to calm him down, he only started cryin’ harder.”

It’s apparent that no one in this office building has ever come into contact with this type of situation, so when Lup finds Barry huddled in the corner of the break room all by himself, sacking out sobs like there is no tomorrow, Lup is _livid_.

“Give us a minute,” she commands the officer before closing the break room door behind her. As the lock clicks into place, Barry’s head snaps up from between his knees, his eyes wide. There are heavy streaks of tears falling down his face, as well as a fine trickle of snot coming out of his nose.

He looks so lost, so _broken_ , it extinguishes Lup’s anger and replaces it with heartache.

She runs to Barry and sweeps him up in her arms, holding him firmly enough so he feels supported but loose enough so he can still breathe. Barry does not hold her as gently. Instead, his own weight against her feels like it’s going to snap her in half.

“It’s okay babe. I’m here. Breathe for me, okay? On three...three…”

God, Lup hopes this doesn’t turn into a monthly trend for her. Comforting someone as they have a panic attack.

“I-...I-I-...d-d-”

“Shhh, just keep breathing Barry,” Lup whispers to him. “Don’t speak.”

“Co-coul-...die-”

“Barry, please-”

“ _I could’ve died-!_ ”

Lup gasps in bewilderment as Barry cries out in pain. He reaches for his throat and wheezes, somehow crying harder now more than ever. His face is so red now from the lack of oxygen and Lup is terrified he is going to hyperventilate.

“Barry, breathe. _Breathe babe._ ”

It takes several minutes and several anxious reminders before Barry calms down enough to where he can take a proper breath. Lup continues to remind him even long after he stops crying, rubbing a hand over his back and another through his hair. She had been worried about him returning to work, more than she showed it, and for this to happen just makes her feel so much worse. This has only set him back farther. The next X-Rays Maureen takes are going to show the damage he’s done to himself.

Suddenly, Lup feels a hand patting at her backside. She moves just in time to see Barry pull out her phone and struggle to open up her notes application. Lup guides his shaking hand over to the correct page and waits as patiently as she possibly can for him to finish his message.

**I coudve died in that crash lup holy fuck that wouldve been it i would v nevr seen you agin i could be dead right now**

Shit. So that little repressed realization has finally arrived. Lup sets her phone down on her lap and fully embraces her husband again. “But you’re not dead, Barry. You’re right here. You’re with me. You’re safe. You’re _alive_.” She grabs one of his hands and presses it over his chest. “Feel that? That’s you, babe. That’s your heartbeat. It means you’re alive. You feel it?”

Barry bobs his head up and down a thousand times before he starts to cry again. Right as Lup goes to pull in him into another hug, he places his hand over her own heart.

It’s enough to get Lup crying along harder with him. “Y-Yep. I’m here too. We’re both here. We’re alive. We’re okay.” She leans up to press a kiss to his forehead. “We’re gonna be okay.”

They both drive back home not too long after that, their professional lives taking a backseat as the two of them reel from the thoughts of what could have been. Lup makes sure to stay extra alert for any potential hazards as she drives along.

 

 

 

**Two Months Later**

 

Through the cracks in the window blinds, Lup grins in anticipation as Merle’s minivan pulls into their driveway and comes to a smooth halt right next to Barry’s Equinox. One by one, the Highchurch household, including Hekuba, piles out and wanders up to the front porch, where Mookie starts assaulting the doorbell.

Lup unlocks the door but opens it far enough so only her face is visible. “Nope! You all gotta wait until the rest of the family shows up!”

Mooky and Merle groan in unison, perfect mirrors of each other. “What’s going on?” Mavis asks.

“It’s a surprise, so you have to wait until I come back out and get you all okay?”

“Oh no, a surprise?” Hekuba frets. “Dang it, Merle. I knew we should’ve brought something if this was a special occasion.”

“Hey, no one told me there was something special going on!” Merle protests.

“I didn’t tell anyone on purpose. Now wait here!” Lup tucks her head back inside and closes the door, locking it back up again for good measure. To an outsider, her act would look unnecessarily cruel, but for what the two of them have been scheming, their sins will be easily forgotten.

Lup turns around as her husband walks over to her, a gigantic goofy smile stretched across his face. The two of them dressed up for the occasion, Lup in her polka-dotted top with the delicate lace and Barry in his sturdiest denim jeans and crispest polo shirt. Neither of them can contain their excitement, and hopefully the rest of their family will arrive quickly before either of them finally bursts.

Barry comes up beside her to peek through the blinds, taking the opportunity to wrap an arm around her waist and pull her in close. Lup leans into him and divides her attention from the entrance to their neighborhood to Mooky as he continues making faces at them.

FInally, after what seems like an eternity, two familiar-looking vehicles park next to the curb near their house. The first is a silver Buick, the same one that drove Lup back to Lynchburg on such short notice. The second one is a red van with a logo printed on it in gold, and underneath that logo is the JPEG of a carved duck.

**Burnsides & Samara Carpentry and Welding Co.**

Both Magnus and Kravitz step out of their respective vehicles close to the same time and cautiously approach the front porch to join the Highchurch family. The hand on Lup’s waist squeezes her hip bone, and Lup can’t help but let out a giggle as their two newest guests try to figure out what’s going on.

“They just locked you out?”

“Sounds like something Taako would do, so this must be right up Lup’s alley.”

“I still think we should have brought something, Merle.”

“She _said_ it was okay! Geez, c’mon Heka.”

“Guys, don’t figh-Mooky! Don’t mouth the door handle!”

The two of them wait for just a minute longer, amping up the situation so the reveal is even sweeter. Then, once the time is right, Barry kisses Lup on the cheek and steps away to unlock the door. Lup watches in childlike glee as her husband opens the door and everyone standing on the porch falls quiet.

Barry beams. “Hey e-eve’yone. Like to come ins-si-igh?”

At first, their family is completely silent.

Then everybody loses their _fucking minds._

There is an outcry of pure elation as everyone starts talking all at once, six voices all joining together in chaotic harmony in light of the situation. Merle starts laughing so hard he has to bend over, his voice hearty and as solid as gold. Hekuba gasps loudly, immediately asking with false agitation why no one told her in advanced. Mavis smiles so wide her glasses slowly begin to fall off of her face. Kravitz starts clapping like a goddamn gentlemen, but then is almost steamrolled by a sobbing Magnus as he pushes his way up to the front door to pull Barry into a massive bear hug.

Mooky just fucking screams.

Eventually, when the nights on their neighbor’s porch turn on, they all move inside, where they still continue to shower Barry with praise.

“Holy shit, kid! I’m so happy for you!”

“Merle! No swearing! But we are _really_ proud of you, Barry!”

“I’m s-s-so happy f-for you, B-Barry. S-So-”

“Oh dear. Here Magnus, you can have this handkerchief. Just-actually never mind, you can keep it.”

“You’re voice sound so much better, Mr. Barry! I’m gonna tell June just how good it sounds at school tomorrow!”

“SAY MA NAME, BARRY! SAY MA NAME NEXT!”

“Woah there everybody, let’s all slow down.” Lup pries Magnus off of Barry and pulls her husband apart from the gleeful mob surrounding him. “That’s just about all the vocal use Barold can stand for the night. Still trying not to overdue that much.”

“Aww!” Mooky whines. “But I was’o excited!”

“I know hon,” Lup says, leaning down to ruffle her little brother’s hair. “Believe me, Barry wants to say your name a thousand times, isn’t that right babe?”

Barry nods, his smile dipping down a bit.

“But hey, in just another month or two, you’ll get to hear him say it as much as you like.”

Everybody perks back up at that statement, including Barry, and more congratulations are quickly thrown back his way again. Compliments and pep-talks are passed around far into the dinner Lup and Barry prepared for everyone, and long after as they all move to the living room as their food digests. The topic eventually changes to the success of Magnus’ business so far, how he already has a handful of regular customers, and how Avi just asked Johann out on a date last night.

“MY BOY DID IT! MY _BOY!_ ” Lup hollars upon hearing this.

She’s not surprised when everyone starts gushing over Barry again, but she is surprised by late it actually is when all of their guests finally leave. The sun is already peaking up above the trees surrounding their neighborhood, casting a gentle pink against the siding of their house. As Merle’s minivan pulls out of their driveway, the birds begin their morning song, coming together to form a beautiful melody composed specially for the new day.

Barry can barely keep his eyes open by the time they finally wish everyone goodbye, his head drooping down ever so slightly every few seconds.

“G-Gonna clean?” he asks, his voice low and scratchy more so from a lack of sleep than his damaged vocal chords.

Lup looks at the dirty dishes stacked up near the kitchen sink, the discarded solo cups scattered around their living room, and finally at the bags under her husband’s eyes. “Nah.”

Taking his hand, Lup leads them into their bedroom and the two of them collapse on top of their bed comforter, both too exhausted to cover themselves up. Lup closes her eyes and sighs, fully content and belly filled. She feels a hand cover her own and a pair of lips clumsily press against her forehead.

“Love you.”

If those were the only two words Barry would ever be able to say again, Lup would be glad it was those two. But for once, the future is promising them something even better.

 

 

 

**One Month Later**

 

“I-I don’t understah-stah-”

“Babe, if you just take it slow, the sounds will come to you-”

“But I can do-do it. I-ust- _ust-_ ”

Lup sighs sharply and grabs Barry’s phone out of his hand. They’ve been at this for so long now and neither of them are showing any signs of backing down. “You need to stop pushing yourself so hard. Here, I’ll call your mom-”

“No!” Barry snatches his phone back, but Lup’s grip remains strong. The two of them tussle for possession of the smartphone like children fighting over a toy. “I-I can-d-d-d-”

There has been a pulsing in Lup’s head this entire conversation, and upon that last stutter, an excruciating flare of pain shoots through her cranium. Infuriated, Lup yanks back with a sudden burst of energy and whips the phone right out of her husband’s hands. “Then say it Barry! Say you can do it! C’mon, I’ll actually let you do it if you can prove to me you can!”

It’s silent as Barry opens his mouth to speak, a thousand words standing right there on the tip of his tongue, but only a hushed squeak comes out. He scowls, eyes glossing over, finally looking just a bit defeated after nearly an hour of arguing.

Lup, too lost in her frustration, laughs. “You finally done trying?”

Her words come out venomous, cruel, and Lup knows the instant Barry physically reels back from what she said that she has made a mistake. The look of what can only be described as betrayal morphs into anger once again, but the tears piling up in his eyes show just how hurt he really is.

“Fuck y-”

Barry’s voice cuts out again and the shame that flashes over his face is the final nail in the coffin. He storms out of their living room, hands clenched at his sides into fists, and retreats to their bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him. The sound echos in Lup’s ear tenfold than its actual volume, shaking her to her core.

 _Fuck, this is too familiar_.

Lup freaks out, for a lack of a better term. She runs to their bedroom and tries to turn the door handle.

It’s locked.

She starts knocking. “Barry? Barry, fuck I’m so sorry. I crossed the line. I know I did.”

No response.

“Shit, babe, shit shit _fuck_.” Her arms start to shake the more she keeps knocking and soon her knees begin to wobble. “God, I didn’t mean to say it, Barry. I didn’t-”

She cuts herself off with a strangled yelp as the pulsing in her brain crescendos to a new height, almost as if someone smacked her in the skull with a hammer. Oh great, this is the perfect time for a headache or a migraine or whatever the fuck this is. _Perfect timing_.

Lup takes one last look at the closed door before her, wondering if she should try just one last time to apologize, to try and fix her mistake.

She decides against it. She’s not in the right mind space at the moment, literally. No reason to add fuel to the fire.

Her first course of action is to slam a dose of Advil and take her temperature. Lup chugs down a couple pills and sticks a thermometer underneath her tongue before leaning back against the bathroom sink as she waits for the results. Each second she spends waiting gives her mind a chance to recap everything that just happened, playing it back like she’s rewinding a movie. She had just gotten back early from a _bad_ day of work, Barry said he wanted to call his mom even though his voice was already sounding rough, Lup said no, Barry wouldn’t take no for an answer, they started bickering, then she had to be a dick about it-

No, not even a dick. What’s worse than a dick? A dickhead? Whatever it is, that’s what Lup feels like she is. It’s a title she deserves. Barry was so supportive, so _patient_ when she was sorting through her own problems. Is this how she repays him-?

The thermometer starts beeping and Lup swiftly pulls the metal stick out of her mouth. She holds it up to read what it says, only to find her vision is blurry, Head swimming, Lup holds the thermometer up even closer.

101.2 **°** . No, wait. 102.4 **°** . No, wait. 103 **°** ?

It’s a bad number either way.

Once Lup knows she’s sick, she _really_ starts to feel it. Her stomach starts doing flip flops and her lungs shrink to twice their original size. Lup has to hold on to the edge of the sink as she puts the thermometer down because she doesn’t trust her legs to hold her up anymore.

What does she need to do now? Tell Barry? No, he’s still furious with her. Call a doctor? God, is there doctor’s office even open today? What day is it even?

Control of her body function quickly spiraling away from her, Lup trudges out of the bathroom, keeping one hand on the wall to support herself. The floor beneath her feet forms into steep hills that her knees scream in agony over. She’s suddenly very hot, like not in a sexy sort of hot, but a sickly hot that she only felt once when she had the flu as a child. Her entire body is being incinerated from the inside out, despite how the illness had only caused mild discomfort just minutes ago.

She reaches their bedroom and finds that the door is still closed. Lup knows she shouldn’t try knocking again, but when she looks back down the hallway, the pathway starts to stretch further and further and the living room looks so far away-

She doesn’t exactly knock on the door. More like she body slams into it as her balance is taken from her. It rattles her eardrums. _Too loud. Too loud_.

“Barry? Shit, Barry I think I’m gonna-”

Lup’s already on the ground before she even finishes her sentence. The impact hits her seconds after the fall, sending her aching joints into a whirlwind. She feels the floor boards tremble underneath her weight, bouncing up and down like a trampoline, and it takes the last of her consciousness to will it to go away.

Then the door to their bedroom opens, and Barry’s face is suddenly inches away from hers. Lup’s eyes are too clouded over to fully make out his expression, but she knows it’s not a pleasant one. First she yelled at him, and now he has to take care of her again.

She just can’t do anything right, can she?

A moment after that thought crosses her pain-stricken mind, she’s floating. Floating out of the hallway and down the infinitely stretching hallway. She’s flying, just without any control of where she’s going, and Lup finds herself too disoriented to care what happens to her next. All she knows is that she feels terrible, she is terrible, there is darkness surrounding her, and if only she could fix herself-

Another moment later, Lup wakes up on her couch with a damp washcloth placed over her forehead. There is a pile of thick blankets covering her from the arms down, normally the ones they keep in the attic until winter rolls around. They smell a bit musty, but Lup welcomes the warmth and comfort they give her with open arms. The couch beneath her offers her body a break from the agony it had endured before and the pillow she feels behind her head keeps her head from bursting at the seams.

She realizes slowly how exactly she got here and who did all this for her.

“I’m so sorry.”

There’s the sound of hurried footsteps and soon enough Barry is kneeling by her side. He looks her over, his face unsure of what emotion to display, but Lup catches a mixture of panic and relief that makes her feel even worse than before.

“I’m _sorry_ . I-I had no right to say what I did. You just want to get better a-and I d-d-didn’t even cons-sider...consider how you _felt_ and h-how _hard_ this all is f-for you. I don’t even know why I said it. I was j-just mad, I guess. N-Not at _you_ , exactly. J-Just that you have to go t-through this all and you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve _any_ of it _babe-_ ”

Barry presses a finger against her lips, his skin offering a cool salvation against the burning sensation that has taken over her. It sends sparks throughout her face, electrifying her senses. He pulls it away a moment later to wipe something away fro Lup’s eyes and that’s when she realizes she’s been sobbing.

Lup squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head as to ward herself of any affection. She doesn’t deserve it. Barry deserves it. Why is he always on the high road while she’s left on the low one?

When Lup opens her eyes, she sees Barry holding out his phone screen to her. It’s close enough to where she can read it without having to untangle her arms from the blankets piled up on top of her.

**You have a fever of 103. You fainted outside our bedroom and threw up a bit. I called your doctor and tried to get an appointment for today. It’s at 1:30. We’ll have to leave in about an hour.**

**What you said hurt but I’m not mad anymore. I don’t want to be. I can tell you’re more upset than I am. You’re just looking out for me and I was being stubborn. I’m the one who’s sorry.**

**Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?**

The first part of the message can be backed up by the bile Lup now tastes in the back of her mouth. The middle part has to be bullshit, though.

“I didn’t know I _was_ sick…Barry, there’s no excuse for what I said. I’m...I-I can’t accept-”

Barry puts a hand on top of her head, and Lup continues to ramble he starts to rub small circles onto her scalp. It’s-oh, it’s _very_ distracting. Lup can feel herself slowly slipping away, like a cat soaking up the midday sun, and before she knows it she’s been lulled to sleep.

Hours later, after a trip to the doctors and a full dose of flu medicine is downed into her system, Lup is moments away from passing out again on their bed. She stays awake, despite how desperately her sickly burden of a body screams at her to hit the hay, as Barry tucks her in for the night. As he turns to leave, Lup reaches out and grabs his wrist.

He turns back to her, alarmed.

“We gotta stop being so miserable.”

Barry breaks into a soft smile. He nods in agreement.

“What...what can we do to fix... _this_. Fix us?”

A crease appears between Barry’s eyebrows as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “What...you mean?”

Realizing she is now treading dangerously close uneasy territory, Lup spends a long moment making sure to pick just the right words. “I need to be more patient....well, okay, _we_ need to figure out how to be more patient. Sorry I gotta call you out like that babe. It’s just...we were doing so well a month ago. Do you think...we can still make it to the end. Y’know...without getting sick of each other?”

Barry takes his time answering the question that took so long to ask. “We can m-make it. M-Maybe...nee-nee-”

“Need?”

He nods. “A break.”

Lup feels her blood run cold. The first thought that runs through her head is a long pronounced, _Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit_.

Barry seems to catch on to her reaction. “N-No! Not li-i-ike t-that! We...take off t-time from w-w-w-w-”

“Work?” Lup croaks, still on edge.

Barry nods frantically.

“Can...can we afford to do that?”

“...can t-try.”

Lup ponders his answer. “It would certainly help to give you more time to recover fully. And I would _love_ to get away from Marvey and Barbara...I-I don’t know, babe. We kinda need money…?”

Barry takes her hand and holds it firmly. His eyes lock with hers, his gaze stronger than any steel ever forged by human hands. “W-We take it one...d-d- _day_ at a time...and w-work from there. S-Soun’ goo-o-f-fine?”

Lup smiles, wearily but fully convinced nonetheless. “Sounds wonderful.”

And after a full-night’s rest and several more doses of flu medicine, they do take a break. Barry gets a week off from his job and Lup manages to cash in a few vacation days of her own.

The time they spend off work is... _nice_. Really fucking nice. The two of them spend most of their days sitting on the couch and watching movies, going out to eat at places they haven’t been to in a while, and just enjoy each other’s company. Barry gets enough vocal rest to finally call his mom and Lup swears she’s never heard Mrs. Bluejeans so happy in her entire life. It feels like for too long stress had been their third wheel, and now that they’ve kicked that ol’ bud to the curb, life has been so much better.

But, like all good things, their tiny vacation comes to an end.

However, the first day Lup picks Barry up from work, he slams the car door shut behind him, rolls down the window, and tosses one of his several work projects out into the open air.

Shocked but greatly amused, Lup cackles wildly. “Wow Barold, where has this rebellious side of you been all this time?”

“Fuck Greg G-Grimal’is,” Barry mutters. Then he smiles. “I’m gonna quit.”

“Now that’s a plan I can get down with, babe.”

 

 

 

**Three Weeks Later**

 

With both of them living unemployed for the past handful of weeks, Lup is surprised to find that life hasn’t really been all that different. Sure, she has to be more wise and stick to a pretty strict budget on each of her Kroger trips (which means buying the itchy, cheap-ass toilet paper instead of the super good plushie one) and going out to the movies or restaurants is kind of off the table.

However, the two of them have never been happier.

Barry makes much more progress overcoming his speech predicament. He finally starts pronouncing his D’s several weeks than previously predicted by Dr. Miller and just seems to be in a greater mood overall. He smiles more, has started eating healthier (partially because most fruits and veggies are real fucking cheap and Lup can make a killer fruit salad), and it reminds Lup of how he used to act back in their college days. Just like a joyful little kid.

As for Lup, she’s living the dream. When she quit her job, she made a huge show out of handing her resignation notice and flipping Marvery off as she sauntered out of the building. It was glorious. Antonia made sure to take a video for her and Lup has watched it every day since.

Their lives still aren’t perfect, in fact they're far from it. Barry’s vocal chords are still shot and his stutter may not go away for another month or two. Not to mention the two of them are still getting use to how low his voice sounds now.

“It’s l-like I’m a smo-oker, or a g-ghost or-or-”

“Or a lich?”

“Y-Yeah, it’s all weird and spooky.”

Of course, their pockets start to run empty after a while too, and the two of them have no choice but to start looking for new job opportunities. Their chemistry degrees will surely give them a ton of options to chose from, but neither of them can afford to move out of state again. Both for financial reason and family reasons. There is no way either of them is leaving their new relatives behind.

But as time passes and their savings starts to dry out, Lup and Barry seem to find themselves stuck at a dead end. Turns out they could get a job at a private college nearby as teachers...if they get teaching degrees...which cost a lot of time and money to get.

“So you guys are gonna do it, though, right?” Magnus asks them. The cup of coffee in his hand has been long abandoned, unlike all the other customers at the local coffee shop the three of them have met up at.

“We don’t have the money Mags,” Lup reminds him. “I know I definitely want to do it-”

“ _We_ ,” Barry butts in.

“Right, sorry babe. _We_ really want to do it, and it would be really nice to be working in the same building...but it’s just not realistic.” Lup takes a sip of her latte and tries to ward off her disappointment in her tone.

Magnus narrows his eyes and hums deeply, lost in thought. He is silent for several seconds, long enough for the curls of steam rising from his cup to die off, when he finally speaks again. “What if you two worked for me?”

Both of them seem to stiffen at the question. “O-Oh, Magnus w-we coul-ldn’t ask that of y-you-” Barry starts.

Magnus cocks his head. “Why not? We’re family. You could stick around long enough to get the money you need to go back to school and get your degree. Or, y’know, you could still stick around if you decide not to try and start teaching.”

“Yeah, but _Magnus_ ,” Lup leans forward in her seat. “We’re not exactly _carpenters_.”

“Oh, you two don’t need to build anything!” he assures them.

“T-Then what woul-ld we d-do?”

“Order supplies, help stock the shop, help out with the more technical sides of the business. I’m not exactly good with, uh, _numbers_ , so I normally order more than we need. Avi’s good with that sort of stuff, but neither of us have time to take inventory when we’re so backed up on orders.” Magnus pushes his discarded cup of coffee and places his hands flat on the table with a gentle _smack._ “We’re understaffed, and two very smart, capable people would really be appreciated. So what do you say?”

Lup glances over at Barry, who is already looking back at her. There’s a hopeful grin on Magnus’ face, but neither of them are smiling.

“Mags, we can’t take your money,” Lup tells him as she turns back around.

Magnus only shakes his head at her. “Don’t think about it like that. I _need_ you two to help us...and I want to help you in return.”

“It r-really woul-ldn’t be an inconv-vinience to y-you?” Barry prods.

“Not at all. So what do you say?”

Every word that has come out of Magnus’ mouth feels...honest, almost comforting so. From a certain perspective, it sounds way too good to be true. Working for brother and brother-in-law respectively, not to mention Avi, someone they have grown close to the past half year must come with some sort of catch. After all that’s happened to the two of them, Lup almost expects there to be some kind of catch. Nothing truly good has happened to them in so long. Who could have thought quitting their two well-paying jobs could have consequences?

Instead of feeling skeptical, however, Lup feels hopeful. It’s the first time in a while she has felt that way, so this has to be a good sign.

Mind made up, Lup finally returns Magnus’ smile. “I’m in. What about you babe?”

Barry beams right along with her. “S-Sounds good to me. When do you want us t-to start?”

 

 

 

**Five Months Later**

 

Lup has a theory that evolves around her dysfunctional family: If something tragic happens to someone in the Taaco/Bluejeans/Burnsides/Highchurch family, then whatever business they make or become a part of after they come to terms with said tragedy will benefit them profusely. Ex. Taako and _Sizzle It Up!_

Seriously, Magnus and Avi bring in an _insane_ amount of revenue, which is return brings Lup and Barry two fair-sized paychecks twice a month. The time it takes to pay off Barry’s medical bills and the repairs for the _Equinox_ would have been _doubled_ if they still had their old jobs.

It makes no fucking sense, but Lup’s not arguing. Now she can start buying the good toilet paper again and boxes of _Cheez-Its_ without a coupon. The two of them start going out to restaurants again and allow themselves an occasional visit to the local movie theater. Once in awhile, the two of them debate over whether or not they should finally move on and go back to school, but Magnus’ generosity always wins them back over. It’s much more fun to work with friends and family than with a bunch of randos.  A sizable portion of their salaries goes back into their savings, but another sizable amount is always left over for them to use to their own devices. As two responsible adults, they always manage to use what’s left over for both fun and weekly necessities equally.

There is one week, however, Barry uses half of his paycheck to buy a new gaming system and a bunch of new games for it without any warning.

“I should return this,” is one of the first things he says after bringing home his massive impulse buy and its accessories.

“You should definitely _not_ return this,” is what Lup responds with almost immediately.

“B-But it was really expensive.”

“Yes, but _babe_ ,” Lup holds up one of the many game cases, “I’ve been wanting to play this bad boy for _months_. We gotta keep the system.”

Barry frowns, unconvinced, but a moment later he shrugs. “Ah, what the hell. Gotta treat ourselves once in awhile, I guess.”

Almost immediately, the two of them start blazing through every game Barry bought for the new system with ease. They’re almost too good at the multi-player strategy games, their technical brains mapping out scenarios of how to beat all the puzzles while also figuring out ways to find all the collectables in each level. But for as great as they work together on co-op games, it’s all or nothing when it comes to competition games. Lup destroys Barry in all things brawling while Barry always get sht upper hand when it comes to racing. It’s a fair trade.

There is this one game, however, that the two of them spend the most time on together and never seem to get any better at, no matter how hard they try. It’s a multi-player game whose main campaign involves a co-op mode. Up to four players need to capture and defeat the souls of undead criminals and eventually the person who sent them on the quest in the first place. Lup and Barry have beaten all the mini-bosses, collected every secret item known to every gamer on the internet, and upgraded their gear to the fullest, but they cannot for the life of them defeat the final boss.

One night, they get so close, _so close_ to actually doing it, to defeating the tyrant that has been taunting them for nearly a week now, but inevitably die just has they have countless times before. As their pixelated bodies fall to the ground dead, the familiar _GAME OVER_ title card emerges onto the screen.

“ _NO!_ ”

“We were right there! _Right there!_ ”

“Come the fuck on! What the hell is up with this game?!” Barry slams his remote down on the couch with a sudden burst of frustration.”Is it, like, coded specifically so we can’t win?! Is it haunted?!”

Despite how upset her husband is, Lup bursts into a wild outbreak of uncontrolled snorts. “You-You seriously think it’s-it’s _haunted?_ Ha _ha!_ Haunted game watch! Ah, _ahhhh babe_ , you’re such an angry gamer.”

Barry groans, leaning back against the couch as a sheepish blush spreads across his face. “I'm not trying to get all worked up, but God almighty this game is _impossible_ . Like...what the _fuck_.”

“I know babe, I know,” Lup coes and she leans onto her husband’s shoulder. She tucks her head into his neck and quickly makes herself comfortable. “We’ll get ‘em next time, champ.”

She feels a pair of lips press against the top of her head, sending a soothing wave of warmth through her chest. “Yeah, I know,” Barry sighs lightly. His breath travels down Lup’s neck and sends shivers up her arms. She smiles, snuggling up even closer to him.

It’s such a simple moment, such a nice moment, and it warms Lup’s heart. Maybe in a sappy way or maybe in a domestic way, but Lup just feels absolutely loved right where she is, and so fortunate at the same time. They have a stable income, Barry can speak full sentences now without tripping over himself, and the two of them have never been closer. This journey the two of them have gone down has led them through many places, most of them filled with tense struggles, but now they finally have a life that doesn’t include barriers of emotional problems or insecurities. Sure, neither of them can shovel away all their self-doubt, but now they know just exactly how far the other will go for them.

They trust each other more now than ever. They trust themselves more now, too.

With that trust solidified, Lup finally feels ready to take a leap she has been meaning to take for a long time.

“Hey babe?”

“Yeah?”

Lup pushes herself upright and away for Barry, reaching for their remotes so she can pull them into her lap. “I think I know a way to defeat the final boss.”

“Okay, hit me.”

She holds up Barry’s remote. “So this is you, correct?”

Barry’s eyebrows knit together, puzzled, but he nods. “Yeah?”

Lup holds up her own remote. “And this is me, right?”

“Uh huh...what are you implying here, hon?”

Lup feels her heart rate jump and her skin tingle as she reaches for a third remote sitting on top of the coffee table, the one she placed there when they first started playing so she could use it now for this very moment. “What if we added...a third player?”

Barry’s expression goes blank. He is silent for a very long time. “You want to invite Magnus over to play?”

Lup just looks at him, long and hard. “Try again, babe.”

Barry continues to stare at her, then suddenly it hits him. “Holy shit. L-Lup? _Lup?_ Are you...wait, are you saying...?”

He’s tearing up, his low-octave voice growing lighter and lighter as a wide smile grows on his face. Lup can’t contain her excitement as she nods up and down a thousand times, starting to tear up herself. “I’m ready. I’m so _so ready_. I...I want to start a family with you, Barry.”

Barry looks at her like she is the sun in the sky and Lup can feel herself seconds away from bursting into tears of pure joy. They keep looking at each other a moment longer before enveloping themselves in a tight embrace, sobbing with glee and gratitude, as the world around them seems just a little bit brighter.

As they continue to hold each other, Lup’s thoughts turn back to the list she made a lifetime ago as a young, innocent kid. She was sort  of a mad scientist for a while, but somehow working retail had turned into her true passion. She’s not a trillionare, but she never needed money to bring her happiness. Barry and her don’t live in a haunted mansion, and honestly that’s probably a good thing, given it would be really hard to resell it some day in the future. They are going to need to expand now after all.

Taako is still her best friend, and soon to be the best uncle ever. With that, her childhood list is truly complete.

Now it’s time to start a new one.

 

 

 

**One Day Later**

 

“First, we should discuss how many kids we want,” Barry suggests.

Lup nods.

“What age range we’re comfortable with.”

Lup nods again.

“And we should probably agree that we’re gonna pamper them profusely.”

Lup nods furiously. “Well, first off, I think I’m down with any age. I mean, if the kid needs a home, I’m gonna give them a home.”

“Yeah, same here,” Barry agrees. “I kinda helped raise my younger siblings so I’m down with whatever.”

“As for how many kids we want…”

The two of them dig into their subconsciouses, unburying up the truth as to what they are comfortable with. Barry puts a finger to his chin and Lup tugs at her hair, both of them frowning.

Barry breaks the silence first. “Probably not, like, ten though, right?”

“Doesn’t seem that reasonable, does it?”

“No, not really.”

“Okay not ten,” Lup declares. “How about...okay, how about three max. That...wait, is that actually a big number?”

Barry shrugs. “Not to me.”

“Well sh’uh, you grew up in a household of eight.”

“Do you think...we can handle three? Or two or four or whatever?” Barry asks, his face filled with uncertainty.

Lup reaches forward and takes his hands, giving them a firm squeeze. “Babe, we can handle anything. I mean, think of all we’ve already been through! Parenting? Pssh, child’s play.”

Barry seems to melt, a goofy expression passing over him. “Okay. You’re right.”

“How about...we look at foster care applicants in the area, and see where destiny takes us?” Lup asks.

“It seems like a good place to start,” Barry says. He reaches over and grabs her laptop, placing right between them on the dining room table. “Lup?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m pretty sure we’re gonna fall in love with the first kid we see.”

“Seems pretty likely,” she grins.

“And Lup?”

“Yes?”

Barry dives in for a surprise kiss and Lup quickly kisses him right back. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Barry.”

He blushes like a freaking middle schooler, and Lup is reminded all over again just how much she loves this nerdy man sitting right next to her. “Okay, I’m gonna open the website. No going back after this.”

Lup hums. “I’m ready as hell. Let’s do this.”

Barry maneuvers the cursor right overtop of the list of applicants, his finger suspended right above the touchpad. Then he presses down and a new page of their life begins.

They read through the first applicant, holding their breath as they read through the child’s description. Neither of them glance at each other, waiting until they make it farther through the page before making any comments.

Then Lup reads over something that stops her right in her tracks, and before she knows it she is laughing her ass off.

Barry is gaping, staring at the screen as if it were about to explode. “Are you shitting me?”

Lup is wheezing at this point, wiping away stray tears from her eyes as she slams a hand on her husband’s shoulder. “I told you-! I told you babe! Let destiny take its course! Ah _AHH!_ ”

Barry starts shaking his head, a ghost of a smile starting to stretch on to his own face. “But...twins, Lup?! Twins?! What kind of fucking coincidence is that?!”


	21. A Well-Deserved Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Milestones are had and celebrations are in order as Lup's life continues to spiral in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. It's the end of this long, long journey I've had the joy to experience. I'm feeling rather emotional about this, honestly. But you can read the sappy note after this final 100% fluff-filled chapter.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: one brief, VERY BRIEF mention of transphobia. It's literally only one sentence and nothing bad happens afterwards. But it is there and I feel like I should warn you all, just to be safe.

**One Year Later**

 

 

From the corner of her eye, Lup spots a pair of small, shifty hands slowly creeping up closer to her, moving with clear intention and precision. The fingers on each hand twitch with anticipation, ready to snatch the video game controller right out of her hands.

Lup sees this, but waits.

Suddenly, the hands move in for the kill, alerting Lup that it is now time for action. As her daughter lunges for the remote, Lup swings her arms over and away from the young child, arching her limbs so they don’t hit her husband who is just a few inches to her left. “Ah-ha! You thought I would go down to easily!”

“No!” Rosa cries, her momentum causing her to fall right into her mother’s lap belly-first. Long strands of her dark brown hair fall over her face as she falls, blinding her. “I was _so close!_ Not fair!”

Lup sets her arms back down right on top of  her daughter’s back, trapping Rosa for the time being (or until she tries to break free). “You’re the one who’s trying to cheat! Now sit still go I can beat your dad’s ass!”

(It had been a hot debate before they decided to adopt Rosa and her twin whether or not they were going to swear around the children. Pros: It would introduce them to the real world. Cons: It probably wasn’t the best parental choice in the world.In the end, they agreed on using less-offensive swear words, like bitch, ass, and damn. The classy swears.)

“Your mom only wishes she could beat me,” Barry laughs, and just as he says that, his virtual kart swerves in front of Lup’s and drops a banana peel right in front of her. Lup’s kart sputters out and comes to a complete halt, to both her and her character’s dismay.

“Son of a bitch!” Lup growls. “Barry, I’m gonna make you eat your words!”

“You’ll have to catch me first!”

“Get ‘em, mom!” Rosa cheers, pushing her hair out of her face before slamming her hands into the couch cushions, similar to how a drum major would perform a drum roll during a pep rally. The moment causes Lup to sway a bit, but she remains laser focus in her quest to beat her husband to a pulp. If only Barry wasn’t born with a natural talent for racing games.

Round and round the two of them speed through the track, dodging obstacles and other opponents left and right. Lup manages to push herself all the way to second place, but Barry just refuses to give up his throne at first. It gets on her nerves and amps up her competitive ego to the max, but in a good, harmless way that doesn’t get in the way of their fun.

Finally, they reach the final lap. It’s due or die time if she actually wants to humiliate Barry in front of his own daughter. Lup avoids a barrage of banana peels and grenades thrown by the computer players until her kart bumper is practically right up against Barry’s.

“Shi-oot,” Barry mutters as Lup tries to cut across in front of him. He barely, _barely_ manages to stop her, placing himself directly in her path, but throws off his acceleration at the same time. A gap appears on the other side of the track, big enough for Lup’s kart to speed through!

Lup takes the shot, pulling her own kart back just enough to steer clear of Barry’s, and just as she button-smashes the boost option-

“Hey mom?”

One of them hits pause, only Lup and Barry aren’t sure who it is. The two of them look past the back of the couch behind them (Rosa pushing herself upwards with her arms to get a good-enough view), to see Marcela Bluejeans standing timidly outside the living room. The young girl is fiddling with the end of his shirt, twisting it into crumpled knots, the tall tail sign something bad might be on her mind.

Lup sets her controller down next to her on the couch, never once breaking eye-contact with her daughter as she the lifts Rosa up off of her. “What’s wrong kiddo?”

“I-um...I w-want to talk to you. I-In private, if that’s okay…?”

It’s obvious to Lup how hard her daughter tries to hide her uneasiness, mainly in how she has to bite down on her lower lip to keep it from quivering. And like hell Lup’s just going to let this issue go unresolved.

“Of course it is, hon.” She smiles, a tender smile that glows with warmth, and her year of motherly practice must be really effective because it gets a smile out of Marcela, too. Lup stands up and places Rosa right where she was sitting, then hands her the remote. “You’re in charge of beating your dad, okay? Don’t fail me.”

Rosa grins wickedly. “I won’t, mom! C’mon, dad, hit play so I can kick your butt into next week!”

“Oh no, now I’m _really scared_ ,” Barry mocks her before sharing a glance with Lup. _You got this?_

_Yeah, I got this._

_Cool._ Then he breaks eye contact and turns back to the race, ending their silent conversation.

With the excitement continuing on behind her, Lup walks out of the living room and follows Marcela as she leads her down the hallway. As they walk down the path leading to all of their bedrooms, they pass several framed family photos. Lup takes a moment to admire them as she walks past. There’s one of the four of them the day Rosa and Marela were adopted, another from the time Taako and Angus came to visit the two for the first time. Man, had that been a day. In the picture, Taako has his arms wrapped around the twins and Ango, trying and failing to hide his tears behind their smiling faces.

They pass a few more photos before they reach Marcela’s bedroom. One is of the twins feeding Magnus’ fish Steven, and another is of them playing with his scottish deerhound Johann. Johann the human had been very confused by Magnus’ choice of the name, but Magnus had simply said his dog looked like a Johann.

Then later, he had dropped an ‘N’ off of the name. Now it was Johann and Johan.

Once they’re inside Marcela’s bedroom, Lup closes the door softly behind her. Something in her gut tells her this may be a conversation needed behind a closed door.

Marcela sits on the edge of her bed, her knees pressed tightly together with her hands set on top of them. In her grasp is her phone, illuminated from the side facing the opposite direction of Lup.

Lup takes a seat next to Marcela, making sure to keep her composure nice and relaxed despite how quickly the situation may turn. “So, what do you need to tell me?”

“Um...well,” Marcela mumbles. Her eyes dart from her mother, to the floor, then to the walls, before back onto Lup. “I...I figured out what I want to wear to the wedding next month.”

Lup smiles. “Wow, planning ahead, are we? You’re just like your dad.” She ruffles the top of Marcela’s head slightly, trying not to tangle up her shorter brown hair too drastically. “Do you have a picture you can show me?”

When she pulls her hand away, Lup can see that Marcela is closed to tears. Her apprehension is palpable enough to where it’s suffocating both of them. Still, Lup keeps up her facade.

“Y-Yeah, here. It’s...it’s this one.”

Marcela passes Lup her phone screen, her hand shaking slightly. Lup takes the phone and balances it in her hands.

It’s a picture of a well-tailored suit, with a pair of grey slacks that come up just to the kneecaps and a suit jacket with tails that hang just about to the same length. The clasps on the ends of the sleeve and the button look dazzling and are the metallic color of gold. To finished off the outfit is a pale-blue, almost robin’s egg button up shirt with a green bowtie that stands out like the first star in the sky at night.

It is, without a doubt, absolutely adorable, and Lup cannot wait to see her ten-year-old wearing it.

“Honey? You want my opinion?”

Marcela nods slightly.

“I love it. _Ah!_ You are gonna look so _cute_ in this! The green is gonna compliments your gonna eyes so nicely. You’re gonna outdo your uncles at their own wedding.”

She wraps Marcela up in a big ol’ hug, careful not to drop the phone off of the bed in the process. Marcela doesn’t hug back.

Lup pulls away when she realizes this. She keeps one hand placed on her daughter’s shoulders. “Hey, you okay?”

Marcela frowns. "It’s...kind of expensive honestly, and...s-shouldn’t I be wearing something that’s...I don’t know...for a girl?”

 _Oh boy, gender stuff,_ Lup thinks as she begins a small parental panic. Even after a year, she still has her moments where she thinks she’s going to say the wrong thing or mess up somewhere, especially in important moments like this. The last thing she wants to do is hurt Marcela. Not that she would say or do anything that would even _hint_ at her not supporting her kiddos one hundred percent. Still, the anxiety remains.

She pushes down her ever-lasting doubt about her abilities and squeezes Marcela’s shoulder. “Marc, don’t worry about the price. I can tell you’re in love with the suit. Frankly, I am, too. If you’re going to feel amazing in it, I’ll buy it for you. I want you to own something you’ll feel comfortable in. Now, we might have to take it to a tailor since we’re buying it online. I cannot tell you how many shirts I’ve bought off the internet that looked _way_ better on a computer than on me.”

“And what about the...um…” Marcela’s voice drops off.

Lup sighs. “Sweetie, I don’t care if the suit’s meant for a boy or a girl. And your dad doesn’t either.”

“W-What about Uncle Taako? And Kravitz? And everybody else?”

“Marc, the first time you saw your Uncle Taako he was wearing a dress! Trust me, everyone in our family is only ever going to support and love you. What you wear doesn’t matter to anyone of us as long as you like to wear it.”

Marcela stares at her. “Really? Our...our parent’s weren’t really that cool with it.”

Lup had read about the twin’s parents, how tragic everything had become two years ago when they had gotten a divorce and neither had been able to take care of the two. She still had no idea what life with them had been like. This little picture isn’t very comforting.

“Well, in this family, it’s alway okay,” she assures her. “We’ll love you no matter who you are or what you wear.”

“...even if I decided to be a boy?”

Lup’s expression goes blank as the train of thought in her mind comes to a screeching halt, the screams of the brakes practically echoing in her ears. Marcela’s eyes are now glossed over, staring at her as if disapproval is right around the corner.

But a moment later, Lup is beaming with ecstasy, the train in her head picking back up speed and zooming along the tracks. The chug of the engine is a beautiful melody that makes her heart swell along with her love for her son. “Oh honey, _especially_ if you’re a boy. When...when did you decide you wanted to be one?”

Now realizing he is no longer in danger of getting in trouble or facing disappointment, Marcela smiles with giddy elation. “I’ve been thinking about it for a little while. I...I just feel more like myself whenever I think about being a boy. It feels right.”

“Well now I have a daughter _and_ a son!” Lup cheers as she wraps Marcela up in a gigantic bear hug, pulling him as close as possible to her chest. “I’m so proud of you, sweetie. Thank you for telling me. You’re so brave.”

“Thank you mom,” Marcela’s voice is muffled against Lup’s chest. When he is finally released he smoothes his hair back down and takes a deep breath. "There have been some other things I’ve been thinking about.”

“Oh?”

“I would like to be called Marcel now...i-if that’s okay.”

“It absolutely is.”

“And I’d like to get my hair cut a big shorter? N-Not because I think I need to to look more like a boy, but just because I like it short.”

“That’s cool with me.”

“And...should we tell everyone before the wedding or after?”

“Whenever you want to, pumpkin.”

“Before then. M-Maybe as soon as possible.”

“Alright then. How about we tell your dad and Ros first, though, okay?” Lup asks.

Marcel nods. “Should we do it tonight?”

“If you want to.”

“Okay. I-I want to. Oh, mom?”

“Hmmhmm?”

“Isn’t it gonna be...well, I’m gonna hit puberty soon and...what am I…?”

Lup takes her son’s hands and presses a kiss to his forehead. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. I don’t want you to worry about that now, okay? Just trust me that we’ll be here for you when you transition then. For now, just enjoy who you are.”

“I will,” Marcel grins. “Oh, and mom?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Lup smiles and pulls her son in for one last hug. “I love you too, Marcel.”

 

 

 

The weeks pass on by. Barry cries tears of pride when he hears the news of Marcel’s decision and Rosa won’t stop screaming about how she has a younger brother, to the dismay of their new neighborhood. Eventually, the word spreads through texts and phone conversations and soon enough the entire family morphs themselves into a giant support group for Marcel. Taako promises he’ll bring some hand-me-clothes of Angus’ to the wedding so Marcel can get to work on picking out a new wardrobe that he’ll feel comfortable with, and Lup starts clothes shopping in the youth boys section of their nearby department stores.

When the suit comes in, it ends up needing to be tailored, just as Lup said. But after a few alterations it fits Marcel like a glove. From the day after its fitted to the day of the wedding, the little boy wears it everyday, showing it off as if it is some sort of prize. It sort of is, in a sense. It may be the most important outfit Marcel has ever owned.

With only a few days till the wedding, Rosa finally picks out her outfit. The dress she decides on wearing is just as flamboyant as she is, with colors of hot pink and daisy yellow, and plastic crystals sewn into the waist and collar that capture the eyes of anyone who looks at her. She’s an attention hog, just like Taako, and Lup loves her for it.

“I think I may look even better than you, Uncle Taako!” Rosa brags over the phone one night, a shit-eating grin stretched over her face.

Taako gasps on the other end of the line. “ _Oh it’s on, little lady. Dress off, me and you. Tomorrow._ ”

“Aww,” Rosa whines,” But you’re getting married tomorrow.”

“ _I know, so that means I win automatically! Lup Jr. none, Taako one!_ ”

“Hey, stop bullying me kid!” Lup chimes in playfully. “Don’t tell me you’re letting all this wedding stuff get to your head. We don’t want a bridezilla on our hands.”

“ _I am_ not _a bridezilla, Lulu. I’m too happy right now to be one.”_

The conversation last another hour or so before Lup tells her brother she has to tuck the kids in for bed. Taako promises her he’ll wish Angus a good night and that he can’t wait to see them all tomorrow before hanging up. By then, Rosa is fast asleep in Lup’s arms, snoring away rather loudly.

Lup laughs quietly and carefully scoops her daughter up into her arms before carrying her off to bed. She manages to tuck Rosa in without a fuzz, giving her a tender kiss on the forehead before closing the door shut behind her. As she makes her way to her own room, she passes by Marcel’s open bedroom and decides to poke her head in.

Passed out on his own bed is Marcel, his body sprawled out wildly on top of his covers. His now shorter hair barely has enough length to cover up his eyes.

“Aww man, I didn’t get to wish either of them goodnight,” a voice whispers sadly behind her. Lup jumps before she realizes it’s only Barry.

“They’ll be here in the morning, don’t worry,” she whispers back to him. “C’mon, help me tuck this little guy in properly.”

With Barry’s assistance, the two gently lift Marcel off of his bed and easily slide him underneath the covers, taking turns kissing him on his forehead this time before walking out and into their own bedroom for the night. Lup waits until Barry is laying down before she wraps herself around him, holding him close and pressing a kiss to his lips.

Barry kisses her back with a low moan. “Excited about tomorrow?” he asks after they pull away.

Lup hums contently, laying her head in the space between his head and shoulder. “You know it.”

“You’re gonna be the best bridesmaid ever.”

“Hell yeah. You’ve seen the dress, right?”

“Yeah. We made out while you were wearing it, remember?”

“Oh, right right. Can’t believe I forgot.”

A peaceful silence capsulates the room as the two of them begin to doze off. Outside, the moon is shining its brightest and fireflies are dancing on the edge of their property line, right up against the forest canopy. Inside, Lup’s mind is slowly going into sleep mode, shutting off for the day while butterflies swirl around in her stomach.

“I hope the kids have fun tomorrow,” Lup whispers before either of them has a chance to fully fall asleep.

“They will,” Barry replies. “I think we all will.”

 

 

 

When Kravitz had finally proposed to Taako, he had had one small request after they tied the knot: they had to get married in Lynchburg.

Not because Kravitz had a vendetta against Chicago or anything. Lynchburg had been his home since he first started his career as a mortician and most of his friends were in the city. Plus, he still wasn’t completely moved out of his house yet and he still needed some time to do some packing.

The two of them were to have the ceremony in Merle’s own church before everyone dashed off to Magnus’ house for the reception. Most would say it was a unconventional area to hold a reception for all their friends and family, but after taking on a few expansions over the year, Magnus’ house and his backyard is now big enough to host a party worthy of a newly-wedded couple and all of their rowdy friends.

Taako had also mentioned it would also be a way for Julia to celebrate, since a part of her will always remain in the house they built together before she passed.

Now that the big day has finally arrived, Barry pulls the family _Equinox_ into the parking lot of Merle’s church and shuts off the ignition before fiddling with his shirt collar. “I think it’s still a little tight,” he says.

“Well then just unbutton it, silly,” Lup replies as she goes to undo the top button. Rosa laughs from the back seat. “There. That’s better.”

“Thanks,” Barry smiles at her. “You ready to go in?”

“And show off my amazing bridesmaid dress? Of course I am.” Lup turns to their children in the back and grins. “I gotta go through the back so no one sees me, so you two follow your dad in and go tackle Mookie for me.”

“On it mom!” Rosa hollers as she jumps out of her seat and throws herself out of the car. As soon as she’s standing, she slams the car door shut behind her and takes off towards the church entrance screaming.

“Oh boy, I better go follow her.” Barry leans over to Lup and gives her one last hurried kiss, pressing the car keys into her hands. “Can’t wait to see you come down the aisle.” Then he runs after their daughter at high speed.

Lup chuckles and watches Barry until he disappears behind the double doors letting the guests inside the building. She is just about to step out of the car herself when she realizes Marcel is still sitting inside. “You ready to go in, clementine?”

Marcel adjusts the green bowtie around his neck and looks up at her hesitantly. “You sure everyone is gonna be okay with this?”

He doesn’t need to give Lup any further explanation for her to know what he’s talking about. “Honey, everyone already loves the new you. The _real you_. Now go in and have some fun before the ceremony starts.” She leans back towards Marcel and fixes his bowtie for him before patting his cheek. He beams up at her and then soon later he’s walking into the church himself.

Lup makes sure to lock the car behind her before she darts her way to the back entrance of the church. There is no way anyone is getting a sneak peak of her outfit before the show starts; it would basically be like getting a spoil for how awesome she looks. It’s best to wait until everyone can take it in all at once and bath in the the collective awe of the crowd in the pews.

Just as Lup entered through the back doors, someone fairly short runs right into her, knocking the air right out of her lungs.

“Oof! Sorry there Lup!” Merle is quick to apologize as he fumbles to pick his bible back up.

“No worries my dude,” Lup says once she gets a full breath of air back in her. She looks down at Merle and can’t suppress the laugh that rises out of her. She has known for a while Merle is a pastor, but seeing him dressed to the nines in a clergy uniform just seems odd to her. “Nice threads.”

“Thanks, I got them at Goodwill,” Merle jokes. The both share in the laughter that follows. “You look beautiful by the way, kiddo.”

“Why thank you,” Lup smirks. “Say, are the two lovebirds already trying to sneak peaks of each other?”

Merle groans. “They’ve been at it all morning, and I have to try my dam- _darn_ best to keep them apart for luck's sake.”

“How are you even a pastor if it’s so hard for you not to swear?”

“Beats me.” Merle reaches up and pats her on the arm. “Welp! I’ll see you later. I’m gonna go practice my lines somewhere private. Don’t, ah...d-don’t wanna mess up too bad at my kid’s wedding…” The older man looks down at his his shoes, the tops of the black loafers glistening in the midday sun.

Lup feels her heart begin to melt as she looks at the caring father before her. “Hey, I know I probably should have said this along time ago, but...thank you.”

Merle looks back up at her quizzically “For what?”

She smiles. “For looking after Taako all those years I wasn’t around. He’s turned into a great person, and you have no idea how grateful I am for you giving him a home.”

It’s nearly impossible for Merle to contain the tears piling up in the corners of his eyes. He wipes them away with the palm of his hand. “Dang it kid, I’m not supposed to cry until _after_ the ceremony is over, not before! But....y-you turned out pretty great, too. You and Barry both. And I know your kids will be just the same.”

Merle looks around them suspiciously before pulling Lup in for a quick hug, demanding she doesn’t tell anyone about what just happened to ruin his grouchy reputation, before wobbling off somewhere to read through his bible.

Upon entering the church, Lup is greeted to a few more familiar faces. Johann is there reading over his sheet music, minutes away from turning the classic tune of _Here Comes the Bride_ into an even more angelic melody that will be embedded in their memories to today. His suit is a paisley blue that would look weird on anyone else if he somehow wasn’t able to pull off the somewhat dorky look.

Magnus is also there, combing through his hair with his fingers in the mirror, obviously fussing over his appearance to blow off some of his nerves. His iron muscles and slightly-pudgy belly stretch his classic black tie suit to its limits but he looks dapper in it, nonetheless. It takes a few seconds for him to realize Lup is there before he looks away from his reflection and beams at her. “Wow, Lup! You look amazing.”

Johann looks up from his sheet music just in time to see Lup do a small twirl with her bridesmaid dress, the sequins sewn on the the end of it sending sparkles of light bouncing off the walls and ceiling. “Oh dang. I’m gay and I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

Lup chuckles, coming to a halt with one final swish of her dress. “Well, if that’s true, Taako’s gonna be mad AF when I steal everyone’s attention during the ceremony. Is he in his dressing room or whatever?”

“Yeah, he’s right over there,” Magnus answers as he points to a closed door on his left. A faint streak of sunlight is coming through the crack at the bottom of the door, barely touching the tips of Lup’s flats. “Kravitz is already standing outside if you wanna go see him real quick.”

“Oh shoot, is it almost time already?” Lup asks.

“It sure is,” Johann replies as he tucks his sheet music away. “I better go start playing. I’ll see you two later.”

“Bye Johann!” Magnus and Lup say in perfect harmony as Johann makes his leave. “I better go check on Taako before the show kicks off,” Lup tells him. “Can you make sure Hekuba’s ready to walk him down the aisle for me?”

“Sure thing,” Magnus says. The smile on his face is shaky, and Lup knows this is the tall-tail sign that the big man is about to start crying.

“Aw hon, we can’t have both you _and_ Merle be blubbering messes before the two of them are even standing at the alter.”

Magnus laughs weakly, holding back a sob. “I’m trying not to. I just...I’m a real sucker for weddings. Julia was, too.”

Lup takes a step forward and grabs Magnus’ hand, holding it gently. “I’m sure she’s holding back her own tears from up above.”

Magnus nods, the smile on his face holding more compassion than any expression Lup has ever seen. “I know she is.”

The two let go of each other and Magnus soon departs to go off on his mission. That leaves Lup, standing along in the back room of the church, her hand outstretched in the air to knock against the door to Taako’s room.

She waits just a moment, then delicately raps her knuckles against the dark-stained wood. “Taako? It’s your super-attractive sister. Is it cool if I come in?”

“Knock yourself out,” her brother’s sing-song voice replies, muffled by the thickness of the door. Permission granted, Lup turns the doorknob and steps inside.

The first thing she thinks if that she must have stepped into another dimension entirely, because standing in front of her is an angel. If Lup looks beautiful, than Taako looks _amazing_ , heavenly so. His dress, made to be longer in the back than in the front, trails behind him like a path of ethereal silk, shining in the sunlight from the bay window on the wall. His sleeves come up three-quarters of the way up his arms, the lace following up to the v-neck around his neck, perfectly complimenting his features. To add even more to the wondrous effect is the glittery, silver clips holding up the strands of his hair that threaten to come out of his wavy bun, though it would be a sin to diminish any of his beauty away.

He is absolutely gorgeous.

Lup is left speechless, her words catching in her throat along with the sudden tears she has to suppress. She has to cover her mouth with a hand to compose herself as Taako turns to look at her.

“I-I must look pretty good, huh?” Taako asks, his own voice wavering slightly.

Lup just nods, a smile stretching across her face. “If I tried to diss you right now, I’d only feel bad about myself.”

Taako laughs lightly, clasping his hands together in his lap and flexing his fingers nervously. “Well I’m glad someone is here to marvel over me. I’m...I’m a little too freaked out to do it myself, honestly.”

Lup crosses the distance between them and cups Taako’s face in her hands. “You look fantastic, Koko. Kravitz is gonna drop dead right the moment he sees you.”

“Ah! You’re gonna jinx him!” Taako protests but his words quickly turn to short, choppy giggles mixed with hysteria. “Seriously, I need all the reassurance I can get right now.”

“Taako, trust me. Once the pre-wedding jitters go away, this is going to be the best day of your life.”

“Yeah, but what...what if none of this is real?”

Lup frowns. “Please explain yourself.”

“Like,” Taako bites down on his lower lip, his own thoughts appear to be scaring him. “What if I close my eyes, and when I open them...I’m back in CHicago. Right after I got expelled. And I’m on my own again, surviving off of ramen packets and a minimum-wage salary. A-And Angus isn’t there with me, and you’re still who-knows-where, and _Kravitz-_ ”

“Hey now,” Lup stops him, squishing his cheeks together to get him to end his anxious rambling. “Don’t let yourself get carried away.”

“You just ruined my foundation,” he pouts after she releases his cheeks.

“I’ll fix it before we go out,” she assures him. “But listen, Taako. All of this around us right now? It’s all real. Me standing here, in the flesh? Real. Angus wandering around somewhere in a fancy little suit? _Definitel_ y real. And Kravitz? Kravitz is here, and he loves you, and I know he’s going to start sobbing the moment you meet him at the aisle. This is your life right now, Taako, and it’s real and you earned it. You’ve worked so hard to get where you are, and I’m...I’m really proud of you.”

Just like the two other members of the family Lup talked to earlier, Taako has been reduced to tears. “No Lup, now my mascara's running,” he whines pitifully as he chokes back on his silent cries. Lup simply pulls him into a tight sibling embrace, hiding her own tear-streaked face behind his hairdo.

“I love you dingus,” she whispers in his ear.

“I love you too, doofus.”

 

 

 

Oddly enough, their highly dysfunctional family somehow manages to pull of a pretty calm and orderly wedding ceremony.

Kravitz and Merle are standing underneath a hand-carved archway when the bridesmaids and groomsmen make their way down (the archway, of course, was made by Magnus). The best man, or best _woman_ in this case, is Noelle, whose prosthetics are decorated with fancy lacing to go along with her well-tailored suit. She takes her spot next to Kravitz, who grins excitedly at her when she elbows him playfully in his side.

Next up is Magnus and Avi, whose wildly curly hair has been pulled back for the special occasion. The two men line up behind Noelle and watch expectantly as the bridesmaids make their way down the aisle.

Lup is first in line, a beautiful small bouquet of white lilac and blue daffodils that were arranged by Hurley and Sloane, who follow closely behind her. As she walks passed the rows of friends and family members sitting in the pews, she searches for her family and grins excitedly when she sees them.  Rosa is pushing off of Marcel’s shoulders to get a better view, much to the young boy’s dismay, and Barry beams at her as if she is the moon shining among the stars. Lup feels a blush rise to her cheeks.

Once they make it underneath the archway, Lup locks eyes with Kravitz, who has all of his fears cast away with a single friendly smile. The two of them look back to the aisle to watch as Mavis and Mookie take turns cascading flower petals onto the floor, Mavis’ handfuls small and precisely spread out while Mooky grabs giant handfuls of petals and throws them on the ground.

Next comes Angus, and Lup can’t help but gasp when she sees her nephew make his way towards them. There is a blue velvet pillow balanced in his arms with two silver bands sparkling on top, misfortune not even attempting to knock them off and onto the floor. He is indeed wearing a fancy little suit, with a red tie and gold accents on the edge of his sleeves that look absolutely adorable.  Lup can’t help but notice that his slacks already come up above his ankles, even though he was measured for his suit over a month ago. Well, he is thirteen now. Where does the time go?

Making his way up the steps, Angus looks over to his aunt and smiles, and Lup’s heart is reduced to mush. He’s such a good kid and Lup loves him just as much as she loves her own kids.

Just as Angus takes his place besides the groomsmen and lady, everyone in the pews rises to their feet and turns towards the church’s entrance. Lup hears Kravitz take a deep breath in a hold it, moments away from watching the love of his life enter into the room-

Then Taako and Hekuba appear in the doorway, and Kravitz gasps.

Everyone is entranced by Taako’s appearance as the two of them make their way down. Repeatedly, people whisper how beautiful he looks as he passes them and quickly wish him luck. Hekuba recieves a few compliments herself, her dress made in an era before Lup’s own but it looks perfect on her all the same.

No one can take their eyes off of Taako as Hekuba lets go of his arm and makes her way to the front left pew. He takes the last few steps up to the archway on his own, his knuckles white from how hard he’s clutching his bouquet, and then suddenly he is standing before Kravitz, before his soon-to-be husband, and all of his worries seem to melt away.

His face relaxes, his grip loosens, and he smiles. He smiles so hard his eyes crinkle at the edges and his gums threaten to expose themselves.

Kravitz does the same, his eyes glossed over and his lip quivering. There is so much love and absolute admiration in his eyes, and Lup knows at that very moment her brother has truly found his soulmate.

Then Taako throws his arms around Kravitz’ neck and kisses him deeply.

“Woah now!” Merle shouts. “Gotta save that part until after I’m done yammering!”

The audience laughs as Kravitz and Taako sheepishly pull away from each other, their eyes screaming desire but their tender smiles promising they’ll have plenty of time to admire each other later. As Merle begins his first speech of many that day, Lup watches from the corner of her eye as Taako takes Kravitz’ hand in his own.

 

 

 

Hours later, Lup finds herself helping Taako serve orderves to their friends and family that the two of them prepared previously the day before. The reception has finally kicked off, everyone partying like there is no tomorrow wunder Magnus’ roof or out in his backyard. However, there is a strict ‘No Alcohol’ rule since there are children around.

Still clad in their respective gowns, Lup and Taako greet everyone who comes by for a bite to eat, thanking them for coming and receiving various congratulations on adopting and on getting married. Avi and Johann come by and wish them both well, making sure to grab a fair-sized plate of cocktail weenies before disappearing off somewhere on their lonesomes. Magnus sweeps Taako up into a gigantic hug, still sobbing tears of joy since the ceremony started, and leaves with the entire cleese platter after Taako half-heartedly commands him to go cry elsewhere.

Mavis manages to sneak away from her high-maintenance brother and grab a plate of her own to eat, mainly composed of deviled eggs and some croissants Taako made himself. She talks to them for a little while as more guests come over to swipe some food for themselves.

“You both look beautiful,” the young girl compliments them. Or young woman, Lup supposes. Mavis is fourteen at this point, already on her way to high school starting in the fall. It doesn’t seem possible that the same freckled-face girl with the aqua-blue braces could grow into such a mature-looking individual in just a few short years. The dress she’s wearing shows just how much she’s grown and how her body’s changed.

God, Lup’s not gonna know what to do when her kids start looking older. Well, she’s got some time left before she has to worry about that.

“You look pretty spectacular yourself, Mavy,” Lup says and Mavis beams at her. She manages to rope the kid for a quick side hug before she’s running off to watch after Mooky again.

But a moment later, Lup notices her shadow start to grow larger and morph into two different figures entirely-

She barely has time to move a platter of cookies to safety as Mooky hugs/tackles the two of them, laughing like a wild banshee. “You little sneaker!” Taako cries.

Mooky keeps on laughing. “Congrats on gettin’ married, big bro! Can I have some of ‘dos crouton thingies?”

“You mean the crostinis? Have at it buddy.”

Taako hands their younger brother the entire plate of garlic-and-herb crostinis they baed just last night and practically shovels them all into his mouth. Even with his entire face covered in crumbs and garlic sauce, Lup can’t help but see how much bigger Mooky has grown too. He’s practically the size of a football player, even if he’s barely eleven years old. His hair is a giant poof of messy brown curls that swing with every movement he makes. It seems just like yesterday he had jumped on top of Barry’s shoulders and was screaming at them for the first time.

Lup ruffles Mooky’s hair and pats his back when he starts coughing on his food. When he catches his breath, he hugs them one last time and runs off to who knows where.

Finally, once everyone has eaten, Lup takes her brother by the shoulders and pushes him out of the kitchen. “Alright, enough working. Go find Kravitz and be gay with each other.”

“Hey! You’re kicking me out of my natural habitat!” he protests.

Lup chuckles. “You’ve been apart long enough. Go. I’ll take care of any stragglers.”

Taako smiles, completely thankful, and dashes off to go find his man amidst a sea of partying people.

With her brother out of the way, Lup looks around until she spots Joaquin and motions for him to emerge from his watch post by the door. “It’s time! Go get Ren.”

The older teen runs off and returns a minute later with Taako’s right hand lady, who despite being at a wedding, is prepped for the next event in his normal work clothes. “Ready to bring the cake in?” Ren grins.

“Oh boy howdy, let’s do it.”

 

 

 

The cake is enormous, and that’s putting it lightly. Since the couple didn’t splurge on renting out a banquet hall for the reception, Lup took it upon herself to order a big fancy wedding cake with Ren’s help. The two of them scanned thousands of catalogs, searching for any design that deemed worthy of Taako, before saying “screw it” to the wedding books and making their own.

They may have gotten...a little carried away.

It’s a good four tiers tall, with thick slabs of key-lime fondant and marble cake underneath. The two of them spent a long time painstakingly gluing chocolate pearls to the sides with icing, but in the end it was all worth it to see the final product. Lup’s favorite detail about the entire thing is the topper, which is just one of the plain-jane wedding toppers made of flimsy plastic from Walmart, but she glued Taako and Kravitz’ faces onto the two figurines. A little bit of silliness on top of all that beauty.

With Joaquin’s help, they manage to carry the cake inside and set it up on the dining room table. The guests spectating around them manage to stay quiet about it long enough to help them set out plates and silverware, until finally-

“HEY EVERYBODY! GRAB THE LOVELY COUPLE! IT’S CAKE TIME!” Lup yells.

It takes no time for the guests to push Kravitz and Taako into the kitchen. The two of them seem startled at first, but stand in awe once they see the culinary masterpiece the ladies have prepared for them.

“Holy shit, Lup,” Taako breathes. “I-I...did-? Who-?”

“Ren and I did it. So...what do you think?”

Taako just continues to stare at the cake, completely lost in its perplexity, before he starts laughing. He grabs Kravitz’ arm and points at the topper. “Look babe! It’s a perfect replica!”

Then he turns back to smile at her and Lup takes that to mean it’s perfect.

Taako cuts the cake, Kravitz gets the first bite smeared over his face, then gets the second one in his mouth. Immediately following that is a wild campaign to get everyone else their own slice, and Ren and Lup work diligently to make sure everyone gets some dessert.

Lup gets so lost in the rhythm of her task that she doesn’t even realize Angus is asking if he can have a slice until she literally hands him one. She gasps loudly and sets the next plate down before scooping up her nephew in her arms. “Ango! You look so cute in your tux!”

Angus manages to save his cake from falling onto the carpet below and laughs. “You look great, too, Aunt Lup.”

Lup sets him down and places a kiss on his forehead before he can object. “Can’t believe how big you’re getting. Stop growing.”

“You told me the same thing yesterday and I told you I can’t do anything about it.”

 _Unfortunately_ , Lup thinks. Oh, if only she could bottle up all his youth and store it away forever. But that wouldn’t be fair to Angus. Everyone deserves their chance to grow. “I know, I know. You enjoying the shindig?”

“Oh yes! I got to play with Johan for a bit and Rosa keeps asking me to dance with her. I guess I’ll have to say yes but I’m gonna eat a little more first.”

“And you excited about having two dads now?”

Angus smile is so sincere he’s practically glowing. “Yeah...yeah, I really am. It’s...it’s been awhile since...w-well since I’ve had two parents and...it means a lot.”

A familiar warmth settles in Lup’s chest. She smiles at Angus and pulls him in for one last hug. “I’m so happy for you, Ango.”

“I’m happy for you too, Aunt Lup.”

With that, they let go of their embrace and Angus retreats with his slice of wedding cake.

 

 

 

An hour later, the reception is still in full swing. Carey and Killina have a push-up contest in the backyard, but their competition is ruined when Johan keeps trying to lick their faces. After some time passes, Human Johann unpacks his violin and starts playing a duet with Avi, who pulls out his acoustic guitar. The two share loving glances at each other as their melody fills the hearts of everyone in attendance.

Then Merle gets everyone’s attention and declares that it’s time for the grooms to share their first dance together. All their friends and family form a ring around a sectioned-off patio area, where Taako and Kravitz sway to the beat of Johann and Avi’s duet, completely and totally lost in the bliss of their love for each other.

Lup may cry...just a little bit.

When the song ends, Taako smirks and claps his hands. A moment later, a Carly Rae Jepsen song starts blasting out of nowhere and he shouts, “Everybody fucking _boogie!_ ”

Everyone does, in fact, start fucking boogying. As the rings disperses as everyone finds a dancing partner, Lup finds herself searching aimlessly around to find her own betrothed. As she wanders around, she spies several sights that have her beaming. Carey and Killian and dancing like there’s no tomorrow. Avi is swinging Johann around like a rag doll and the two of them are grinning. Magnus has both of his hands holding Mavis and Mooky, the three of them swirling around in a circle as Johan runs in between their legs. Hurley and Sloane somehow manage to slow dance to _Call Me Maybe_ , the two of them in perfect harmony with their movements.

Eventually, Lup spots her children and the sight she beholds has her laughing uncontrollably. Rosa has finally gotten her dance with Angus, her dress swaying wildly in the evening breeze and her hair bouncing with every step. Despite how violently Rosa is tugging at his arms, Angus manages to stay on his feet and the smile on his face clearly shows his enjoyment.

“Mom?”

Lup looks down and sees Marcel deviously up at her. “Yes, my loving child?” she cooes.

“There’s a certain someone who would like your attendance on the patio.”

“Oh, is there?” she grins. “Well, how about we both go see this mysterious admirer!” Before Marcel can defend himself, Lup scoops him up and tosses him into the air and onto her shoulders. The young boy laughs loudly and grabs onto the top of his mom’s head to keep himself from falling off.

The two of them weave through the crowd until they finally reach the patio. There are string lights tangled in the rafters, illuminating the man underneath its roof, who is still looking at Lup the same way he did during the ceremony.

“Babe, are you the one who sent this little monkey out to fetch me?” she asks playfully as she carefully sets Marcel back onto the soft earth below.

Barry chuckles. “I got lost looking for you, so I figured our little eagle eye would have better luck.”

Marcel beams at the nickname and tugs at his mom’s hand, pulling her all the way up the steps of the patio and right up next to his dad. He grabs Barry’s hands and forces them to hold onto each other. “There. I did it. Now dance and be happy.”

“Thank you, sweetie. Wait, who are you gonna dance with?” Lup asks.

Marcel shrugs. “I’ll go find somebody. I don’t want to make you two feel weird while you dance. So I’ll just g-”

“Oh no you don’t!” Lup snatches Marcel by his suit jacket just as he takes off down the patio steps. “I’m sure the three of us can dance together just fine, right babe?”

“Of course we can!” Barry says and he grabs marcel’s other hand. “No reason you can’t join us. Unless you’re _embarrassed_ to dance with your parents.”

“Aww, do we make you look less cool?” Lup plays along.

Marcel giggles, shaking his head. “Mom, dad, _stop it_ . Now you really _are_ embarrassing me!”

With that, the three of them find the rhythm of the song playing all round them and dance joyfully to their heart’s content.

 

 

 

The reception finally starts to wind down once the sun disappears behind the trees and the moon comes out of hiding. One by one, the guests start to leave, wishing the lucky couple one last congratulations before making their leave. Hurley and Sloane leave rather early, as well as Taako’s many other friends and co-workers from Chicago, who all seem to be catching the same flight home the following day. Merle and Hekuba leave to go tuck their kids into bed for the night, but it takes a long time to pry Merle off of Taako when he hugs his son goodbye.

Eventually, the only ones left are Magnus, Taako, Kravitz, Angus, Lup and her family. Lup herself spends some time checking for any lost valuables any of the guests may have left behind before locking he back door and making her way inside.

She finds Magnus laying on his living room floor, mumbling sleepily that he’ll clean his house up tomorrow with Johan curled up into his side. Across from him on the couch is Kravitz and Taako, the two newly weds both fast asleep in each other's arms, still fully dressed in their wedding attire. Kravitz has his head leaning against Taako’s forehead, his mouth slightly parted as he snores softly. Taako has his arms wrapped tightly around one of Kravitz’, a smile still stretched onto his face.

Lup smiles at the two of them and carefully covers them up in a blanket before turning out the lights to the room.

Continuing her after-party walkthrough of the house, she is surprised and equally delighted to find her two children and Angus all tucked up in one of Magnus’ guest rooms, each kid completely conked out after nonstop hours of celebration. Marcel is curled up into a little ball, his back dressed up against Angus’ while Rosa is spread out like a starfish, threatening to push the boys off the bed in her sleep.

Barry is there, too. Lup watches silently as her husband carefully slides Angus’ glasses off of his face and sets them down on the bedside table. Once the glasses are safe, he looks up and sees Lup. He smiles at her, clearly just as exhausted as the kiddos dozing right next to him. “Couldn’t just leave them on the floor,” he whispers.

Lup smiles back at him. “Think they’ll wake up if I kiss them goodnight?”

Barry shakes his head.

As quietly as she can, Lup leans down and gives both her kids and her nephew a quick little kiss on the cheek before Barry leads her out of the room. He shuts the door softly behind them and hand in hand, the two of them make their way to Magnus’ room and throw themselves on top of his bed. It’s been a long day, and Lup can certainly feel it in her bones. What she really needs now is some good R&R.

She tangles her legs up with barry, mindful to pull the end of her dress back so it doesn’t stretch out much in her sleep. Barry leans forward and kisses her tenderly, nudging their foreheads together.

“How’d we get so lucky?” Lup asks him. She can feel herself drifting away, the everlasting love tugging at her heartstrings just not enough to keep her awake for much longer.

She is awake long enough to hear Barry whisper back to her, “Beats me. ‘M just so happy we made it here together,” before she finally falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks...again.
> 
> Chapter notes: Rosa is basically my discount Mooky while Marcel is based on me! Sorry if some of you aren't OC fans but hopefully the kiddos were likeable enough that it didn't take you out of the fic that much.
> 
> First things first, THANK YOU to everyone who has supported this fic. Whether you were here from the start of Six Years or just saw this fic the other day. I can't believe how well this fic has been received. I started it as a little fun project with one of my best friends and somehow it turned more into a therapy session that I feel has really improved my mental health. I have you all to thank for helping me along this journey, as long as MLA, and I will never be able to thank you all enough. Thank you and I love you all :)
> 
> I know a few chapters ago I said I might write a part 3, but honestly? I think it's best if I take a break from Six Years, indefinitely for now but possibly forever. I'm really proud of how What Follows ended and it helped me muster up the confidence to write my own story I've been planning for a while. Also, I wanted to participate in the novel writing thing going on in November so I gotta BOOK IT to turn in all my grades for midterms so I can work on that. If I ever become a famous writer, I'll make sure to mention all of you in my acknowledgements! I'm sorry if any of you are disappointed by this, but it's time I moved on and started a new chapter with my writing. (haha, I almost made a pun)
> 
> One last time, thank you all so much. You're all amazing people whose kindness always make my worst days just a little bit better :)
> 
> okay bye everybody

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading or absent mindedly scrolling! It's cool, bud. I know you're probably reading this at, like, 2 AM just as I do. What is sleep at this point?


End file.
